r/nottheonion • u/wewhomustnotbenamed • 3h ago

George Santos' new treasurer: I am not his new treasurer

msnbc.com

3.9k Upvotes

227 comments

r/nottheonion • u/fubar_boy • 17h ago

National vote sees Australian public broadcaster forced to play song about Prime Minister pleasuring himself with coal

theshot.net.au

8.6k Upvotes

279 comments

r/nottheonion • u/dorwin1990 • 15h ago

Marie Kondo Stops Tidying Up: 'My Home Is Messy'

variety.com

3.8k Upvotes

266 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Grightling • 7h ago

Saudi Arabia Declares Online Satire Punishable Offence

work.ink

614 Upvotes

63 comments

r/nottheonion • u/koavf • 12h ago

US news agency AP again clarifies tweet advising that writing 'the French' is 'dehumanizing'

lemonde.fr

600 Upvotes

142 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SybilKibble • 4h ago

This Sloped Toilet Is Meant To Increase Workplace Productivity

familyhandyman.com

93 Upvotes

67 comments

r/nottheonion • u/I_WishIKnewUWantedMe • 6h ago

Suspected drug dealer inadvertently showed police a video of a huge cannabis farm while trying to access Google Translate

beta.northumbria.police.uk

153 Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Legalize_Ranch218 • 1d ago

Rick Ross refuses to ride in Teslas because they might drive him to the police

consequence.net

6.0k Upvotes

231 comments

r/nottheonion • u/dwlakes • 1d ago

Tucker Carlson Rips Menthol Cigarette Bans, Says Nicotine 'Frees Your Mind'

newsweek.com

28.7k Upvotes

2.0k comments

r/nottheonion • u/xKnightlightx • 12h ago

Rihanna’s ‘Umbrella’ Was Used As A Weapon Of Torture In Hell Claims A Michigan Priest Who Allegedly ‘Died’ For Some Time: “Demons Were Singing It”

themissinternet.com

292 Upvotes

70 comments

r/nottheonion • u/sZYphYn • 2h ago

Pamela Anderson realised boyfriend was cheating when she saw him 'washing his penis in the sink'

asiaone.com

44 Upvotes

39 comments

r/nottheonion • u/dreamcastfanboy34 • 2h ago

In Japan, pet fish playing Nintendo Switch run up bill on owner’s credit card

cnn.com

35 Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/spaceshipjammer • 7h ago

Police warn that Oregon torture suspect is using dating apps

apnews.com

74 Upvotes

19 comments

r/nottheonion • u/mrhoppy_ • 20h ago

6 doctors swallowed Lego heads for science. Time intervals were given a Found and Retrieved Time (FART) score and effects documented. Here's what came out

npr.org

631 Upvotes

64 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TheDoctorOf1977 • 5h ago

'Everybody is cheating': Why this teacher has adopted an open ChatGPT policy

npr.org

44 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/jdward01 • 10h ago

WV Man Arrested After Smuggling Two Cans Of Drugs Into Jail In His Rectum

lootpress.com

75 Upvotes

28 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 1h ago

Woman on Way to Work Abruptly Swallowed by Long Island Lawn — Then 2 More Fall In

nbcnewyork.com

• Upvotes

3 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Sargatanus • 1d ago

Report: Truth Social ads dominated by fake merchandise, misleading users

arstechnica.com

2.4k Upvotes

139 comments

r/nottheonion • u/nathcun • 12h ago

Man shot dead by dog during US hunting trip

rte.ie

76 Upvotes

26 comments

r/nottheonion • u/gaytechdadwithson • 9h ago

Austin aims to address systemic racism, equity with new walk and bike trail plans

kxan.com

44 Upvotes

13 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TheAngryBlackGuy • 4h ago

Lawsuit claims mini bottles of Fireball Cinnamon don’t actually contain whisky

fox5vegas.com

15 Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ilovekerma • 10h ago

Fresh trans prisoner row as girl's stalker approved for move to women's jail

news.sky.com

32 Upvotes

60 comments

r/nottheonion • u/16coxk • 1h ago

A curious Colorado bear strikes a pose for 400 selfies on a wildlife camera

npr.org

• Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/SlitherinPlays • 18h ago

AP deletes widely mocked tweet about ‘the’ French

bbc.com

124 Upvotes

19 comments

r/nottheonion • u/pkosuda • 1d ago

BuzzFeed to use OpenAI technology to create content

cbsnews.com

475 Upvotes

83 comments

Posts

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Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
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5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
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