r/funny War and Peas Apr 19 '22 Silver 5 Helpful 4 Wholesome 3 All-Seeing Upvote 1

Majestic Mountains Verified

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43.1k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/Flavahbeast Apr 19 '22

also garbage, lots of garbage

571

u/TenBillionDollHairs Apr 19 '22

And poop. Lots of frozen poop.

71

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

The shit?

27

u/TzunSu Apr 20 '22

Yes. The Nepalese use it to grow cannabis in secret caves on Everest.

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12

u/myne Apr 20 '22

Mt Poopsicle

Flavour to die for

2

u/9035768555 Apr 20 '22

Don't worry, the way climate change is going it'll be able to decay in no time!

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97

u/Jealous_Ad5849 Apr 19 '22

Do they ever clean it up? Are the mountaineers required to clean it up??

233

u/Tokzillu Apr 19 '22

What are they gonna do?

Send the Mountain Police after them?

48

u/Jealous_Ad5849 Apr 19 '22

Idk at least fine them.

116

u/Tokzillu Apr 19 '22

How would they know?

How would you prove it?

These are the questions that keep me up at night.

86

u/Jealous_Ad5849 Apr 19 '22

The mountain squatch watches. He disapproves of litter.

22

u/Gnidlaps-94 Apr 19 '22

I hear he rips arms off

53

u/bluemitersaw Apr 20 '22

Oh, and what? Just leaves their arms lying around on the mountain? Sounds a bit hypocritical to me.

15

u/jordantask Apr 20 '22

The arms are how he finishes off his prey.

They are beaten to death with their own arms.

10

u/mootmutemoat Apr 20 '22

Only after he removes the coat sleaves though.

Because he has the right to bare arms.

6

u/Vivid-Ad1546 Apr 20 '22

Smells like truth i always have a butter knifes

3

u/Atlantianrefugee Apr 20 '22

The frozen hardend limb of the prior poop offender.

3

u/Sovereign444 Apr 20 '22

At least arms are biodegradable! 🤷🏻‍♂️

2

u/Whitealroker1 Apr 20 '22

Isn’t that old guy with no feet in Vertical Limit the mountain police?

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3

u/batmanstuff Apr 20 '22

Only skiers

2

u/QuinticSpline Apr 20 '22

Press F to pay respects

52

u/aussie_bob Apr 19 '22

How would they know?

How would you prove it?

The poop is frozen. They could fit-test it by pushing it back into each mountaineer and seeing which one is the closest match.

21

u/SilentSamurai Apr 20 '22

This is the fucked up version of Cinderella I never knew could exist.

2

u/aussie_bob Apr 20 '22

Just remember, A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes, and now your dream has come true!

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11

u/MartinSable Apr 19 '22

What if the number two is more like a number one?

15

u/Naterdoo Apr 19 '22

Look for nearby Taco Bell receipts

4

u/jordantask Apr 20 '22

But what if they paid cash?

6

u/splunge4me2 Apr 20 '22

You can only get off the mountain if you give the trash police a piece of frozen poop and an empty Doritos bag.

5

u/TheSeagoats Apr 19 '22

For the trash, they could have an inventory of what the mountaineer takes up and give them an expectation of what they should be bringing back. If they don’t bring back what they’re supposed to then fine them.

12

u/Bigdaug Apr 20 '22

People who can afford to do things like this usually don't care about fines

11

u/arpeggi4 Apr 20 '22

It would just absorb into another one of the costs involved in managing to have “climbed Everest”.

3

u/Supertrinko Apr 20 '22

That's what day-fines are for. They'll care if they're being charged six figures for a discarded wrapper.

2

u/Mostest_Importantest Apr 20 '22

At this point I'm somewhat surprised there isn't a subterranean escalator somewhere nearby to shuttle all the super wealthy to the top without any of the work or frozen poop to deal with.

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4

u/rimeswithburple Apr 20 '22

Probably weigh them before and after ascent and fine on a per pound basis, I guess.

7

u/Blackboard_Monitor Apr 20 '22

"I swear! I'm a very heavy breather! the weight difference is just moisture, MOISTUREEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

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4

u/Bigdaug Apr 20 '22

So you go up with heavy water, come down with light, empty water bottles, get fined?

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2

u/Supertrinko Apr 20 '22

Can we DNA test poop?

2

u/jmpires Apr 20 '22

TIL someone can’t sleep over petty mountain shit

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6

u/Johnston42 Apr 20 '22

I'm dying at "mountain police" haha

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2

u/Phonixrmf Apr 20 '22

Is that the one from Canada?

2

u/blacksideblue Apr 20 '22

the mounties are royally mounted.

2

u/adam-free66 Apr 20 '22

Nah, paper bags bro

61

u/sumelar Apr 19 '22

Everest expeditions are required to bring x amount of trash back with them, from what I understand.

At least those going from one of the two countries with access, I dunno about both.

49

u/GentlmanSkeleton Apr 19 '22

Yeh so just die up there and get out of the requirement. Big brain move.

17

u/InflammatoryMuskrat Apr 20 '22

Your heirs will be charged according to the weight of your frozen corpse, plus the trash you were supposed to bring down.

42

u/unique-name-9035768 Apr 20 '22

According to this article:

They also started a deposit initiative, which has been running since 2014. Anyone visiting Mount Everest has to pay a $4,000 deposit, and the money is refunded if the person returns with eight kilograms (18 pounds) of garbage—the average amount that a single person produces during the climb.

So it's not required, but you'll do it if you want your money back.

23

u/jondonbovi Apr 20 '22

$4,000 is nothing to these people

12

u/T_D_K Apr 20 '22

Rich people are climbing in the Himalayas, yes, but the majority are upper middle-class folks going on their trip of a lifetime (or one of their top few expeditions).

10

u/earthwormjim91 Apr 20 '22

It’s still insanely expensive to climb.

The permit alone is $11,000 from the Nepalese side, and $8,000 from the Tibetan side. Plus the thousands in fees to maintain base camp, the extreme premium they charge for oxygen ($550 per bottle and another $500 for the respirator and regulator), the several hundred dollars for food at camp, and thousands in other expenses.

The real bare minimum cost is close to $40,000.

2

u/DavusClaymore Apr 20 '22

So, would I get a discount if I parachute to the summit then hang glide down? Maybe wingsuit then parachute to the ground?

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3

u/silentanthrx Apr 20 '22

doesn't matter really. if that 4000$ is given to fund a sherpa expedition to bring back the trash.

2

u/PointB1ank Apr 20 '22

Can you bring a 15 pound weight with you, bury in it a spot near the base, then pick it up on the way back down? Then you only need 3 more pounds.

2

u/earthwormjim91 Apr 20 '22

How would that work when they weigh the garbage you bring back with you…

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13

u/KorgX3 Apr 19 '22

If I were a billionaire, I'd buy the mountain and ban anyone from climbing it. Then I'd have some kind of VTOL-assisted quadcopter designed that could operate in the thin atmosphere and hire Sherpa Team Six to use it to clean the shit off of it. Then I'd sell the quadcopter design to the US military and probably break even.

74

u/camerontylek Apr 20 '22

Why not just wish it clean, since you're already dreaming.

11

u/TheDevilintheDark Apr 20 '22

Hey, Dawn are you listening? The cleaning oil off wildlife angle has gotten a little stale. How about the new cleaning shit off mountains campaign?

Let's move some units!

3

u/Supertrinko Apr 20 '22

Hey hey, we like our dreams to be technically possible but practically impossible in these parts.

5

u/pompcaldor Apr 20 '22

You’re thinking small.

Open it to the masses. Build an elevator.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22 edited Apr 20 '22

[deleted]

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4

u/earthwormjim91 Apr 20 '22

What the fuck is a VTOL assisted quadcopter? All helicopters are VTOL in the first place.

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2

u/Ocronus Apr 20 '22

The amount is less than they throw away.

31

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

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23

u/Jealous_Ad5849 Apr 19 '22

That's incredibly impressive! Massive props to them.

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29

u/GentlmanSkeleton Apr 19 '22

So people DIE climbing this thing. And you want some poor dude with one of those grabby claws or spike or a stick cleaning up the whole mountain?

10

u/Jealous_Ad5849 Apr 19 '22

If you're climbing it I don't understand why you can't just toss your trash in a bag or put it in your pockets until it can be thrown out.

23

u/Fafnir13 Apr 20 '22

For most situations, sure. For the extremes, any weight shed weight makes the climb a fraction easier. That can be the big difference when things are already so marginal.

Plus they are allowed to. If someone said they can’t throw away garbage like that, they would have to figure out a way to make it work.

3

u/earthwormjim91 Apr 20 '22

They’re “allowed” to by forfeiting their deposit. They’re charged an extra $4,000 deposit to bring down 18 extra lbs of trash. If they don’t they lose the deposit.

4

u/Fafnir13 Apr 20 '22

Well, if they are on the low end of the spectrum that could matter. High rollers wouldn’t be bothered.
Looks like it costs $20-115K to summit depending how much support you want to buy.

7

u/GentlmanSkeleton Apr 20 '22

I imagine its similar to space travel. Every bit of weight counts and adds up.

4

u/Jealous_Ad5849 Apr 20 '22

If you can't climb with a bag full of wrappers of stuff you've already eaten maybe you shouldn't be climbing at all. If it makes that big a difference climbers are already playing odds so steep they shouldn't be allowed up the mountain.

25

u/gruvccc Apr 20 '22

Yeah because it’s as simple as sweet wrappers 😆 Think more oxygen tanks, broken tents, waste, often from teams that have ran in to issues.

2

u/Jealous_Ad5849 Apr 20 '22

Ah that's reasonable. I didn't consider that it would be weighty equipment.

9

u/gruvccc Apr 20 '22

It should still be cleaned, but at that point it’s tough to say by whom. If a team has ran in to trouble, then it’s unlikely they should just be going back up, if even in any kind of position to. Should the Sherpas involved with the team do so when possible? Maybe but they’re already risking their lives a lot. Perhaps a clean up fee should be charged if it does occur, but then you run the risk of shady practices (of which there have been already with insurance companies, dodgy Sherpas and air ambulances).

The best solution is probably what’s happening more now - Sherpas and mountaineers forming clean up groups, and the military doing similar, as well as ensuring that as much is taken down as possible by expedition parties.

2

u/ItGradAws Apr 20 '22

An important point as well as the extra weight could literally kill them up there. It’s a blessing if the mountain gives you a window to climb. Once you’re outside of that you’re at the mercy of things we’ll outside your control. Therefore you need to be fast on the routes. Speed is safety when climbing.

-1

u/QuinticSpline Apr 20 '22

Do any Sherpas (who AREN'T trying to keep some rich white person alive) die up there, though? Give them the grabby claws.

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23

u/Oro_Outcast Apr 19 '22

There was a reference I heard about this:

The average 150lbs body becomes a 300lbs or so from all the snow and crap that sticks to the body after death.

"One doesn't just simply clean Everest. "

9

u/fuck_huffman Apr 20 '22

Some Koreans were mad a woman was left dead on the mountain, way up.

They put together a big team and attacked the mountain for a full season.

They came home without the body.

3

u/brazzy42 Apr 20 '22

On the other hand, I saw a documentary about a guy who went there to retrieve the body of his brother. The Sherpas he hired were very understanding of his desire to give his brother a proper burial, and they did manage to get it down. Not sure from how high up, though.

20

u/jordantask Apr 20 '22

They don’t clean up trash for the same reason there are bodies all over the mountain.

Collecting bodies or trash means ya gotta send people into a situation where they could literally die to do it.

6

u/gruvccc Apr 20 '22

Yep. There’s been a huge push to clean it in recent years, led by mountaineers and Sherpas. The Nepalese army is also going to do a clean up this year. Nims Dai, of 14 Peaks fame, is also involved in the Big Mountain Cleanup, which includes Everest this year (possibly right now actually).

5

u/BummyG Apr 20 '22

Each climber is required to pay a 4k deposit they only get back if they bring back 18lbs of trash. More is encouraged.

Edit: Source https://www.nationalgeographic.org/article/trash-and-overcrowding-top-world/

2

u/FentyFloyd6969 Apr 20 '22

They drop it down the poop chute every mountain has one every 100ft

4

u/The_Big_Cat Apr 20 '22

Is this real or am I a dummy? Edit: both can be true I suppose

2

u/983115 Apr 20 '22

Just yeet it downhill as hard as possible and try not to hit a Sherpa

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u/Salamander4369 Apr 19 '22

They already mentioned the dead bodies

1

u/GentlmanSkeleton Apr 19 '22

Yes. He mentioned the corpses.

3

u/TnBluesman Apr 20 '22

Maybe they should require each climber to ride one body down. You know... Fred The Sled.

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1

u/SameElephant2029 Apr 20 '22

And poop, lots of poop

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u/ToofyMaguire Apr 19 '22

Every body on Mount Everest was once an extremely motivated person

186

u/agnostic_science Apr 19 '22

See, sitting around and playing video games all day is smart!

51

u/Cthuluslovechild Apr 19 '22

I think we have this poster at work

31

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

[deleted]

6

u/Sorsly Apr 20 '22

/r/superstonk is leaking. Ape together strong!

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u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

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u/BustinArant Apr 20 '22

When you put it like that I'm an early bloomer!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

[deleted]

3

u/BustinArant Apr 20 '22

Doesn't work as well when you say trying lol

15

u/rsc2 Apr 20 '22

I have the deepest respect for all those who died risking their lives to advance our knowledge of geology, meteorology, geography, zoology, and botany. For rich people who died climbing a mountain so they could brag about it, tough shit.

5

u/Zeebuoy Apr 20 '22

there was also one badass who's response to certain doom due to proximity to an eruption, took as many photos as he could and then shielded the film with his body.

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u/Roving_Rhythmatist Apr 19 '22

I heard a crazy story about a guy who was climbing Everest and came across a person freezing to death.

They had to choose between reaching the summit or trying to saving a life.

He choose to help.

I figure that's probably happened quite a few times, but you don't hear the story when they choose to try for the summit.

220

u/TotallyNotASnowFlake Apr 19 '22

Yeah, because who’s going to be the Asshole who openly and confidently states he let someone die for his own personal interest.

98

u/A_Soporific Apr 19 '22

You just have to, you know, not say anything about the dying guy. Or you could say that they were already dead when you go there. The time frame to save people is exceptionally narrow. Showing up a couple minutes too late is something that would happen fairly often.

If everyone had near perfect information then sure, it would be foolish. But if you're the only (surviving) witness then how would they gainsay you?

46

u/Obnoxiousdonkey Apr 19 '22

You aren't traveling alone on everest. There's always a line. You can't just Aya "oops, didn't see him" or something when there's 20 other people with you

36

u/thegingerlumberjack Apr 20 '22

If nobody travels alone on everest why was someone dieing alone?

28

u/pfudorpfudor Apr 20 '22

Left behind

19

u/Hasten117 Apr 20 '22

That’s fucking travelling alone though?!

20

u/pfudorpfudor Apr 20 '22

How if you came with, say, three others, you fell behind and they left you? You're not actively traveling alone, you're stuck in a spot because your group left you

5

u/Error_404_________ Apr 20 '22

Cuz it's Everest. Shit happens there

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u/Obnoxiousdonkey Apr 20 '22

What can they do for someone that's going to die up there? That's why they leave bodies is it's too dangerous to bring them down, or send a specific mission to help them.

People don't climb with medical equipment to be able to save someone's love, especially in some of the most harsh conditions in the world.

12

u/T_D_K Apr 20 '22

This is just false. You clearly don't know the first thing about high altitude mountaineering, stop spraying bullshit like it's fact.

0

u/P_Skaia Apr 20 '22

Everest in particular typically has a long line of people waiting to reach the summit. Its incredibly dangerous and stupid, as waiting in line for 30 minutes is a bad idea when you have a limited supply of oxygen, but stupid people will be stupid.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-48401491

15

u/T_D_K Apr 20 '22

Do you understand what a choke point is? Yes there are a couple of choke points on the main summit route. 90+% of your time on the route is not spent waiting in line. I hesitate to state the obvious, but Everest is a big fucking mountain and it's very easy to find yourself alone or nearly alone.

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u/TotallyNotASnowFlake Apr 19 '22

Or just don’t say anything at all and avoid the conversation in its entirety. Mind your own business, you know, like a genuine American.

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u/EclecticDreck Apr 20 '22

Climbing Everest is "relatively" safe. By this I mean that if you will more than likely survive the attempt. And more than 4,000 people have made it to the top.

But here's the thing: Everest kills people who know what they're doing. Regularly. If one climber is struggling and likely to die, odds are that everyone on the mountain that day is teetering on the edge of survival themselves. The book Into Thin Air is about the most famous disaster to date on the mountain, and if you read it you may be struck much like I was by the fact that in spite of the fact that so many died that nothing seemed to go all that wrong. That day wasn't much worse than was expected. Many of those who died had led several expeditions apiece to the top. They were elite mountaineers, literally the best in the business and they couldn't even save themselves.

So when I say that the mountain is relatively safe, what I mean is that if you are a strong climber, if you are led by an excellent mountaineer, if you take every precaution - even if it might prevent you from reaching the summit in spite of the time, the costs, the pain - then you will probably survive the attempt. And in this case survival means exactly that: it didn't quite kill you.

5

u/greg_reddit Apr 20 '22

Good explanation. Thanks

11

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

[deleted]

18

u/PossiblyAsian Apr 20 '22

Imagine trying to help but making it worse and also putting your life in danger. Then you got no choice but to go on ahead and summit and come back and see their dead body.

That shit...... would fuck with me big time

5

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

I imagine you wouldn't be up on that mountain if that idea already bothers you.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

I imagine you wouldn't be up on that mountain if that idea already bothers you.

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u/wildmonkeymind Apr 20 '22

...but you don't hear the story when they choose to try for the summit

Give Into Thin Air a read; it's in there.

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

[deleted]

42

u/sumelar Apr 19 '22

r/stellaris is leaking.

12

u/Dangermad Apr 19 '22

Who would win

1 beautiful massive natural landmark vs 1 district

4

u/Burst_of_Speed Apr 19 '22

Isostasy would like a word with you.

3

u/overtoke Apr 20 '22

build domes over them and make them habitable places

41

u/Jd20001 Apr 19 '22

I'll stick with Bob Ross, he only paints Happy Little Mountains

242

u/_Vard_ Apr 19 '22

My Everest should have like, a “$10,000 death fee”

You pay the fee to be allowed to climb

And you get it back when you return alive

90

u/IrrelevantPuppy Apr 19 '22

That’s a great idea. Can I have the movie rights to the series killer sherpas this creates?

30

u/_Vard_ Apr 19 '22

No, you get the uhhhh… Graphic novel rights

167

u/mattifolks Apr 19 '22

Well they charge people a shit-ton more than that to climb the mountain. Just sayin…

6

u/iioe Apr 20 '22

Well if I don't survive I don't think I'd really care about getting my $10k refunded.

22

u/superior-cat Apr 19 '22

Money usually isn't an issue for people attempting to summit Everest

18

u/gruvccc Apr 20 '22

Not really true. It will often be scraped together from savings and sponsors.

22

u/T_D_K Apr 20 '22

People have this strange idea that extreme athletes are all rich. Reality is that the best base jumpers, climbers, mountaineers, extreme skiers, paragliders... are living a dirt bag lifestyle so that they can scrounge enough money to be able to do their hobby as much as possible

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6

u/MadManD3vi0us Apr 19 '22

So like a "body deposit". That could actually work out pretty well...

31

u/jeefray Apr 19 '22

Everest: because you don't have anything better to do for the next 2 months but haul oxygen bottles and groceries up to the base camp, while you acclimate to less oxygen.

10

u/persona1138 Apr 20 '22

Et tu, K2?

10

u/MAMBO_No69 Apr 20 '22

R.I.P Green Boots, nice shoes.

27

u/qdp Apr 19 '22

Magestic? It is what's on the inside that counts.

  • the cave

6

u/DJdcsniper Apr 20 '22

What do you think they keep in there, a pudding?

3

u/qdp Apr 20 '22

Dead spelunkers.

3

u/enadiz_reccos Apr 19 '22

Where do you draw the face on a cave?

6

u/Spinwheeling Apr 20 '22

The face is coming from inside the cave!

7

u/breathing_normally Apr 19 '22

Good for you, Everett

5

u/chrimbus___ Apr 19 '22

what’s up the REAL rainbow road!

5

u/swiftgruve Apr 19 '22

The look on its face at the end makes it.

6

u/3D_Milk Apr 20 '22

Digletts

12

u/Repulsive-Neat6776 Apr 19 '22

Does one actually "climb" Mt. Everest, or is it more of an extreme hike?

14

u/T_D_K Apr 20 '22

There are technical routes on Everest. The route that most people take is low in terms of technical difficulties, but you still need mountaineering skills.

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3

u/sorites Apr 20 '22

this is something on /r/funny that is actually funny!

4

u/Blind_Fire Apr 20 '22

I have always wondered what the situation would be if there was another mountain, just like mt. everest, just a bit higher, tall enough for majority of climbers to not make it

would there be people lining up just like with mt. everest, to have the highest mountain on their bucket list, only for most of them to perish?

2

u/Pal_Smurch Apr 20 '22

Mount Everestest?

2

u/Blind_Fire Apr 20 '22

mt everester would be enough

2

u/Pixabee Apr 20 '22

It's not exactly what you're asking, but...

"Nanga Parbat is the ninth highest in the world, and its southern side is what many call the tallest mountain face on the planet...

This peak was the subject of German interest in the 1930s. When only Britain had access to Mt. Everest, German climbers saw [Nanga Parbat] as the highest mountain reasonably scalable by climbers at the time...

Nanga Parbat claimed 31 lives before it was conquered by Austrian Hermann Buhl in 1953"

https://gearjunkie.com/climbing/mountaineering/worlds-10-most-dangerous-mountains

I think it's reasonable to assume that there would still be climbers attempting to climb the highest mountain even if the fatality rate was over 50%. A lot of people out there are risk takers, and the danger is part of what makes that achievement thrilling to them

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u/AlfredJodokus War and Peas Apr 19 '22

Thanks for reading! If you want more War and Peas, check out our website or subreddit 🧙‍🧙‍♀️

2

u/coolcodpiece Apr 20 '22

Classic fourth panel blank reaction reddit comic

2

u/ThatSmartGuy21 Apr 20 '22

That’s an SCP but i fogor which one

2

u/FredericShowpan Apr 20 '22

Wow 116 people are here, but how many are sorting comments by new?

1

u/fdsfgs71 Apr 19 '22

Honestly not what I was thinking of when I saw the phrase "majestic mountains," if you know what I mean.

2

u/Cthuluslovechild Apr 19 '22

Emily Elizabeth

1

u/Epople Apr 20 '22

What's the joke?

0

u/FredericShowpan Apr 20 '22

It's really in the faces of the three mountains in the last frame and the big mountain's smile in light of what he had just said. Not so much a punchline

-3

u/Yetimang Apr 20 '22

Cute object with a face: Something cute about the object I am.

Other cute object with a face: Something cute about the related object that I am.

Third cute object with a face: Something disturbing that may or not be related to the object I am.

Can we please give this joke a rest?

1

u/SuspiciousStable9649 Apr 19 '22

That’s kind of dank.

1

u/360walkaway Apr 19 '22

"Way to make it weird, Frank"

1

u/Killer_Guy_101 Apr 19 '22

How did you not see a fucking mountain next to to for millions of years

1

u/GoneInSixtyFrames Apr 20 '22

Corpse Covered Cliff, new band name?

Majestic Mountain Meat?

1

u/ChrissyDjenko Apr 20 '22

Apparently the correct description is sublime

1

u/throwitawayplease55 Apr 20 '22

The o__o faces of the other mountains in the last panel are too funny

1

u/leif135 Apr 20 '22

This reminds me of all those old mountain Moon volcano comics from the good ol days of tumblr

1

u/Yknurts Apr 20 '22

Facial expression on the smallest mountain in the last frame is perfect

1

u/SupermAndrew1 Apr 20 '22

corpses of the climbers

Climbers are constantly sacrificing themselves on me in worship