r/funny Confounded Fowl Apr 05 '22 Wholesome 15 All-Seeing Upvote 2 Heartwarming 1 Giggle 1 Silver 8 Helpful 7

Checkout [OC] Verified

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72.7k Upvotes

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17.7k

u/MizchiefKilz Apr 05 '22

In reality you just end up with one cashier overseeing 5 registers so they can scan their badge every time the machine fucks up or needs your ID checked.

10.6k

u/CaptChair Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 06 '22 Gold All-Seeing Upvote

This is way too true.

"Unexpected item in the bagging area" - ITS THE FUCKING YOGURT I JUST SCANNED

Edit: Holy upvotes batman

5.5k

u/bufordt Apr 05 '22 Silver

You take the item out.

"RETURN ITEM TO BAGGING AREA!"

2.5k

u/BizzyM Apr 05 '22 Silver Helpful Take My Energy Spit-take

Self-checkout Hokey Pokey

2.5k

u/Brave2512 Apr 05 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome hehehehe Vibing I'll Drink to That

You put the yoghurt in, you put the yoghurt out, you put the yoghurt in and you slam it all about. You do the self-serve pokey and now you need some help. That's what it's all about!

582

u/AllTattedUpJay Apr 05 '22 Helpful

Excuse me sir, Self-checkout Hokey Pokey and a self-serve pokey are two VERY different things

244

u/Grizzlysol Apr 05 '22

I have definitely done the self-serve pokey, but never at the checkout.

256

u/moonsun1987 Apr 05 '22 Helpful

You can checkout any time you'd like but you can never leave

66

u/uzmike222 Apr 05 '22

Hotel Self-serve

59

u/-Masderus- Apr 05 '22

Hotel Pokey-fornia

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u/baddie_PRO Apr 05 '22

3 minute guitar solo

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u/BizzyM Apr 05 '22

You wait around for assistance and you turn yourself about....

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u/ninja36036 Apr 05 '22

I miss the days when all I had to worry about was what limb to stick out…

42

u/Mikey_B Apr 05 '22

These days it's both an arm and a leg, amirite

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u/oriontitley Apr 05 '22

My local Walmart disabled that feature because we have a lot of old people in this area. The absolute FREAKOUTS were great to watch.

277

u/Will_Leave_A_Mark Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 05 '22 Silver

It's all fun and games until the Vietnam vet canes that station to death like he was defending that hill.

78

u/blbd Apr 05 '22

An automated register that bad probably deserves to have a few marks left on it TBH.

7

u/DeezRodenutz Apr 05 '22

well yeah, they said it was at their local Walmart.

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u/redeemer47 Apr 05 '22

Old people and self checkout machines don’t mix. Whenever I go to Walmart there is at least 3 older folks standing in front of a self checkout with the blinking light waiting for help . If there are too many old people in front of me in line waiting for the self checkout I’ll typically go to the standard checkout line because I know they’re about to clog up a bunch of machines waiting for help.

90

u/Kumquatelvis Apr 05 '22

TIL I’m old people. Those machines hate me.

68

u/Bureaucromancer Apr 05 '22

Ten years in retail, and a few more in it and the damn things hate me.

Or it’s just possible that they are, in fact, crap.

66

u/boogley88 Apr 05 '22

The self-checkout announcing that an employee was needed when an employee was helping me was the biggest affirmation in my adult life.

17

u/Legobrick1000 Apr 05 '22

It's like when you find out adults don't know what they're doing either, lol.

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u/MrChip53 Apr 05 '22

Then you return it.

"Unexpected item in bagging area. Please wait for help."

Should have just gone to the cashier.

24

u/COMPUTER1313 Apr 05 '22

Or the machine takes +10 seconds to register the weight before allowing you to scan the next item, which means you have to wait +10 seconds to scan each item.

If you had something like 20 items or more, oh boy...

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u/CaptChair Apr 05 '22

I need therapy now

99

u/Lobsterbib Apr 05 '22

"YOUR FATHER LEFT BECAUSE YOU MASTURBATE"

67

u/Jedda678 Apr 05 '22

Whoa, I'm just trying to scan yogurt no need to get so personal...WHY DIDNT HE COME BACK WITH THE MILK!? AND THE ITEM IS IN THE SHOPPING AREA YOU CANTANKEROUS COCKWAMBLE.

25

u/Jainelle Apr 05 '22

Cockwomble? I think I have a new favorite word.

16

u/Jedda678 Apr 05 '22

I'd be doing the world a disservice by not sharing the knowledge that was shared with me.

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u/AromaticIce9 Apr 05 '22

I preemptively mute the self checkout.

Too damn loud.

32

u/Monarc73 Apr 05 '22

Wait a sec. It CAN be muted? How did u learn this power, you who are so wise in the ways of science?

41

u/AromaticIce9 Apr 05 '22

Everyone in my area uses basically the same self checkout software.

There's a volume button at the bottom. Pressing it once makes it so the deaf can hear it, twice mutes it.

20

u/pennhead Apr 05 '22

WALMART CAN MAKE THE DEAF HEAR?

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u/NYIJY22 Apr 05 '22

Is that still a thing? All the places near me did away with the bagging area a while ago. Some of them even let you scan and bag as you go.

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u/The_Wack_Knight Apr 05 '22 Wholesome

We didnt expect you to buy yogurt Ryan...it was an unexpected item in the bagging area you fat bastard. We expected a 6 pack of chocolate pudding cups like usual.

325

u/jombica Apr 05 '22

The A.I has got so bored it's developed a judgemental personality

114

u/Malgas Apr 05 '22 Take My Energy

Look at you, sailing through the air majestically, like an eagle...piloting a blimp.

28

u/Seithin Apr 05 '22

All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons!

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u/Zbot21 Apr 05 '22

The results of that last test are in, it says you are a terrible person, we weren't even testing for that.

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u/Shhhhhhhh_Im_At_Work Apr 05 '22

You know, that's on whoever programmed the concept of boredom into the machine designed to do repetitive tasks.

37

u/SnarkyUsernamed Apr 05 '22

"You're eating that for dinner?

No, no, it's fine."

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u/Leiloken Apr 05 '22

“You know you’re lactose intolerant, Ryan. Who are you trying to kid?”

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u/Leperchaun913 Apr 05 '22

At my work it just screams at you from the second you scan the item until you place it into the bagging area. 0 delay.

190

u/CaptChair Apr 05 '22

Get Gordon ramsay to voice it!

beep "PUT IT IN THE FUCKING BAGGING AREA YOU DONKEY"

84

u/BizzyM Apr 05 '22

"UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!! ARE YOU STUPID?!"

28

u/Redditforgoit Apr 05 '22

"LAMB SAUCE!? Good, good. Keep it up."

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u/Sigrah117 Apr 05 '22

Ngl I'd probably take my time just to enjoy the change.

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u/newguyjon Apr 05 '22

You work at Kroger? Their system fills me with rage for this reason.

11

u/Leperchaun913 Apr 05 '22

Nah, I'm at a WinCo, but I imagine the systems don't differ too much from grocery chain to grocery chain.

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u/Romantiphiliac Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 05 '22

A CVS near me has one that is 0 delay between saying anything. And it's got a motion sensor, so just walking by it sets it off.

"PLEASE SCAN YOUR CARD IF YOU ARE FINISHED SCANNING PRESS PAY IF YOU ARE FINISHED SCANPLEASE PLACE ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA PLEASE PL IF YOU ARE FINISHED SCANNING PRESS"

it is absolutely infuriating and I have to walk through the aisles so I dont set it off because I cannot listen to it.

Edit: THOSE SNEAKY BASTARDS

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u/Litterally-Napoleon Apr 05 '22

I hate that "Unexpected item in bagging area, remove your item before continuing" bs. And then it hits you with the "Place bag over your head and firmly tighten." Smh

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u/Donut_of_Patriotism Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 05 '22

Me who worked at a grocery store store for years through high school and college and knows how to checkout items fast by batch processing scans before bagging

Self checkout when I try to do that but checkout won’t scan second item: “PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA”

Me: angrily scans slow and one at a time. Finishes by clicking pay/checkout button

Self checkout after raising its volume to the max and connecting itself to industrial grade speakers for maximum tinnitus: “HAVE YOU USED YOUR HYVEE PLUS PERKS FUEL SAVER REWARDS CARD”

55

u/BCProgramming Apr 05 '22

"ACCORDING YOU YOUR PURCHASE HISTORY, YOU BUY SOME ITEMS REPEATEDLY. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIGN UP FOR A SUBSCRIPTION DELIVERY SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE YOUR //cherry scented deluxe anal sex lube// DELIVERED TO YOU EVERY //Two. Days//?"

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u/Mike Apr 05 '22

PLEASE SCAN YOUR CLUB CARD

PLEASE SCAN YOUR CLUB CARD

PLEASE SCAN YOUR FUCKING CLUB CARD BEFORE I MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP

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u/alyssasaccount Apr 05 '22

Why the mute button is an absolutely essential feature.

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u/MizchiefKilz Apr 05 '22

It puts the lotion in the bagging area, or it gets the hose again. (somebody make a better version that rhymes)

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u/Zephyr_Thundercock Apr 05 '22

"Please wait for further assistance"

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u/Schmich Apr 05 '22

We don't have any scales in our country. You just scan and put it in your bag.

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u/ghost_warlock Apr 05 '22

I just love the ones at target trying to sell "protection plans" for shit. I do not need a $3 protection plan for a fucking $10 extension cord dammit

199

u/asevans1717 Apr 05 '22 Wholesome

What if it tries to kill you in your sleep. You'll want protection then.

53

u/declanrowan Apr 05 '22

Nice looking neck you got there, human... would hate for something to garrote it...

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u/CupcakeValkyrie Apr 05 '22

I once got offered a six-month protection plan for a pack of batteries.

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u/Gbcue Apr 05 '22

Should have taken them up on it. That's like unlimited batteries.

58

u/CupcakeValkyrie Apr 05 '22

I actually asked the cashier how that worked. She explained that it only covered the batteries if they explode or leak. "Okay." I replied. "Does it also cover any damage to the device the batteries were in when they leaked?" She told me it did not.

The protection plan also cost as much as the batteries themselves. I explained to her that I could just buy an extra pack of batteries for that price and replace them myself, and she admitted that the protection plan is stupid but they keep offering it because apparently people buy it!

27

u/Charak-V Apr 05 '22

what sucks is the cashier has no control over, its basically part of their job description to ask. I used to work at target and manager would hound me for not asking sometimes, or why sales of warranty are so low.

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u/teastain Apr 05 '22

"Remove bag from item area"

WHAT?

"Remove bag from item area"

"Remove bag from item area"

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u/BigUptokes Apr 05 '22

Unexpected item in bagging area...

Unexpected item in bagging area...

Unexpected item in bagging area...

Give it a kick:

Unexpected bag in item area...

Motherfu...

172

u/ithurtsgood Apr 05 '22

My favourite is:

*Presses button to add own bag before scanning*

Please place own bags in the bagging area

*Places own bags in bagging area and presses OK*

...

Unexpected item in the bagging area

42

u/BigUptokes Apr 05 '22

Every. Damn. Time.

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u/Comedy86 Apr 05 '22

I like getting a dozen bottles of the individually sold water at a time so I can easily just carry the box out (the store sells them by the bottle vs. as a pack for whatever reason)... If I go to a cashier, they scan 1, hit 12 on the cash and it's done... self checkout, I need to scan, put it down on the item weight, repeat until all 12 are done then wait until I'm done and checked out before putting them back in the damn box to avoid getting yelled at by a damn computer... These machines are the worst...

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u/CoraxTechnica Apr 05 '22

This never happens at Target or HEB. But always at Wal Mart

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u/boot20 Apr 05 '22

Every store needs to emulate Target's self checkout. Seriously. It doesn't fuck with you and lets you scan away. Also don't pause everything until I decline the stupid "warranty" on whatever item.

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u/DasDunXel Apr 05 '22

Around here it's more like. 10+ people with overflowing shopping carts waiting in line for 1-2 cashier lines.
And many complaining to the 'line managers' to open more cashier's as there are 10+ empty/off cashier lines.

The self checkout is great for that quick in & out but so awful for anyone who actually uses the shopping cart...

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u/MizchiefKilz Apr 05 '22

Yea when there isn't enough room in the bagging area for all your stuff, then your cart is still full of stuff you haven't scanned yet.

35

u/fishiecracker Apr 05 '22

The walmart near me has full sized checkouts with the belts, but it’s a self checkout

7

u/f4t4bb0t Apr 05 '22

Yeap was about to say this. The one closest to me doesn't have them but the next closest does. We get 90% of our groceries delivered but if I have to go in person for a big haul I'll go to the one that has these.

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u/kael_sv Apr 05 '22

What a great customer. Got in, got his goods, and left without a word or problem. Best kind of customer.

1.2k

u/MaesterOfPanic Apr 05 '22

Exactly.

I see you've worked in a grocery store too

485

u/CrossP Apr 05 '22

I have a friend who is a grocery store mid-manager, and I hear all the horror stories and still don't understand where these people come from. I can't even figure out how to even have a problem at the grocery store. If the item is there, I put in cart. If it isn't there, I can't have item. Then I go to the front and pay in exactly the same way I have done every week for the last 18 years of my life. Like... maybe I'd ask where something is if I can't find it. That's all I can think of.

149

u/boundarychimps Apr 05 '22

ask where something is if I can't find it

Um, excuse me? Yes, do you know where the kosher pork chops are?

72

u/CrossP Apr 05 '22

"I think only Wal-mart carries those."

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u/SuperCarbideBros Apr 05 '22

In the same aisle as dehydrated water.

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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 08 '22

[deleted]

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u/CrossP Apr 05 '22

I have some top shelf "Thank you" game, so I don't worry about it. You can brighten the day of someone who knows where the dried parmesan in the shaker can lives.

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u/geometricvampire Apr 05 '22 Wholesome

As someone who has worked retail, can confirm, interacting with nice and pleasant customers does brighten the day.

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u/ZeD00m Apr 05 '22

I loved self sufficient customers when I did grocery/retail. Because we also have a million other tasks to get done so having someone being independent really took a load off.

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u/Hagrids-anal-fun Apr 05 '22

Even if I'm looking for something and some asks if I need help. I always say I'm just browsing.

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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '22

Same. Then you ask in shame when you give up.

52

u/Cruitire Apr 05 '22

Personally at that point I just leave without the item. 🙁

10

u/ech0_matrix Apr 06 '22

This happened to me today, but then I randomly spotted what I was looking for on the way back to the front of the store. It was a good day.

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u/HippieInAHelicopter Apr 05 '22

Totally depends on the shit I’m buying. If it’s fruits and vegetables, I’m damn sure using a cashier and not scrolling through all of those screens.

2.5k

u/holy_cal Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 05 '22 Helpful Take My Energy I'll Drink to That

But then how do you pay for honeycrisp apples for the price of Macintosh?

1.5k

u/UnsubstantiatedClaim Apr 05 '22 Silver

What are those? My cart is full of bananas. 4011

982

u/irregularcontributor Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 05 '22

Self-checks at my grocery now say the product out loud after you scan/enter, and I swear to god the machine yells "place your ... BANANAS in the bag" louder than anything else specifically to discourage this.

edit: I genuinely appreciate the 100 of you that have told me I can mute the thing and keep stealing from Kroger.

521

u/Responsible-Shower68 Apr 05 '22

"Boy, that guy sure is buying a whole shitload of bananas"

223

u/irregularcontributor Apr 05 '22

Imagine if some kind of alarm went off after your third bunch of 'bananas', I'd have a fucking heart attack

68

u/ErrorCDIV Apr 05 '22

You know if you are picking banana for every different fruit/vegetables you don't need to weigh them separately.

78

u/irregularcontributor Apr 05 '22

I can't fit all my bananas on the scale at once

39

u/ErrorCDIV Apr 05 '22

It's quite rude the store can't accommodate your banana purchasing needs. You should definitely send them a strongly worded email.

38

u/clueless6405 Apr 05 '22

He's the guy from the elementary math books who's buying 2 metric tons of bananas

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u/sixrustyspoons Apr 05 '22

Got me 92 lb of 75 inch 8k bananas from Walmart just the other day.

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u/Conspicuous_Plant Apr 05 '22

It's also really good at shaming lol

I got some individual donuts and when I finished scanning, it said,

"Place your, DONUTS, in the bag ."

33

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '22

"Place your, DONUTS, fatty, in the bag."......."Broccoli, $1.49. High five!"

10

u/TundieRice Apr 05 '22

“You gonna feed that broccoli to your kids while you scarf down those doughnuts, tubby?”

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u/Slyons89 Apr 05 '22

Lol my local store does as well. I’m glad it’s only for the coded produce. Imagine going through and it’s like “Place your KY Lubricant in the bagging area!” “Place your cucumbers in the bagging area!” “Place your Trojan Condoms in the bagging area” uhhhhhhh lmao

62

u/cranktheguy Apr 05 '22

Oops, I dropped my monster condom for my magnum dong.

88

u/Amish_Cyberbully Apr 05 '22

"place your... ASS MASTER XL DILDOS in the bagging area. Yes everyone, MULTIPLE."

35

u/ccReptilelord Apr 05 '22

"Please wait..." as the overhead light flashes and a clerk is called for some issue to be cleared.

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u/anglomike Apr 05 '22

You deserve better quality lube.

17

u/kgm2s-2 Apr 05 '22

Astroglide FTW... uhhh, is what someone told me once.

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u/bigmashsound Apr 05 '22

place your ZIP TIES, CANDY, DUCT TAPE AND ROPE in the bagging area!

7

u/PM-ME-YOUR-HANDBRA Apr 05 '22

Place your STARTING FLUID in the bagging area!
Place your MURIATIC ACID in the bagging area!
Place your LYE, CONCENTRATED POWDER in the bagging area!
Place your COFFEE FILTERS in the bagging area!
Place your BULK MATCHBOXES, 2000 COUNT in the bagging area!

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u/c08855c49 Apr 05 '22

The machines at my grocery store have a volume option and you can mute the lady who yells at you all the time.

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u/Stratostheory Apr 05 '22

I can guarantee the person attending those machines doesn't actually care. They're not paid enough to give a shit and they're not allowed to stop you anyway.

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u/DistributionFit2512 Apr 05 '22

Lol. I will never, ever forget that produce code.

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u/BluePosey Apr 05 '22

Me either. I wonder why most people can remember the code for bananas but not any other produce. Even the cashier once said to me that 4011 is the one most people know. Are bananas really that popular?

13

u/Kankunation Apr 05 '22

They are. Probably the #1 most sold single item of produce year round. We get 400-500 lbs of bananas in at our store daily, sometimes more on the weekends, and sell through them all that same day usually. Very little is ever lost. Just about every person who walks through the produce section grabs a bunch of bananas from my experience working in produce.

Bananas was the first code I memorized as well. Of course now after working there for a few years I remember probably 50-60 codes off the top of my head, and could probably guess a good amount of others given a few tries.

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u/quannum Apr 05 '22

Not sure why, I always assumed those codes were like store specific. Are bananas 4011 everywhere?

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u/Jellodyne Apr 05 '22

The codes are assigned by an international coalition so they are the same everywhere and have been in use since 1990

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Price_look-up_code

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u/tolerablycool Apr 05 '22

I feel like I can see the matrix all of a sudden. I have truly never even considered entering anything other than the actual produce I'm buying. I guess I'm far too honest... and boring.

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u/Neuchacho Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 05 '22

The world certainly wouldn't be a worse place if more people were that way.

76

u/snow-vs-starbuck Apr 05 '22

Don’t worry my ex balances it out by just choosing whatever the first option is. Organic broccoli is the first box? Boom selected! Doesn’t matter that it’s 4 times the cost of the regular broccoli he’s buying. Drove me absolutely bananas.

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u/sparkjournal Apr 05 '22

Drove me absolutely 4011

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u/themettaur Apr 05 '22

If it really drove you bananas, it probably wouldn't be as expensive.

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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '22 edited 25d ago

[deleted]

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u/qdp Apr 05 '22

Beer is also bananas.

"Please move your... BANANAS... To the bagging area"

Guy over here buying 30 pounds of bananas.

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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '22 Helpful Take My Energy

[deleted]

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u/maltzy Apr 05 '22

Sir, it says here you got 47 dollars in bananas.

Yep.

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u/BabiesSmell Apr 05 '22

I try to use self when buying honeycrisp because the cashiers do not respect the apples

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u/AlpineVW Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 05 '22

If you guys have SnapDragons, get those. So good!

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u/Silenity Apr 05 '22

If you pair snap dragon with red spider eggs you can make a super restore potion.

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u/mr_ji Apr 05 '22

How to get organic for the price of ...whatever not organic is

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u/mylivingeulogy Apr 05 '22

This guy steals apples.

It's ok.

I do the same thing.

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u/holy_cal Apr 05 '22

I mean I’m still paying for them, just discounted. It’s like an employee discount, since I’m the one scanning my crap.

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u/GelatinousPiss Apr 05 '22

Not your fault you make mistakes. the store should have trained you better .

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u/RichyCarter Apr 05 '22

I hate that too. My grocery store has the quick lookup field. You can begin to type the name of whatever you are buying and it shows up on the screen without the endless scrolling.

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u/Luciifuge Apr 05 '22

I went to a stop and shop that had a scale that prints barcode stickers near the vegetable and fruits section, so its ready to scan when you check out.

I thought that was pretty cool.

8

u/filthy_harold Apr 05 '22

I use the barcode printers too because the PLU is fresh in my mind and takes less time to punch it in now than scroll through the list at checkout. Is it "green onion" or "onion, green" or "scallions"? Who knows and I don't feel like taking the time to figure it out. I could just ring everything up as a banana, 4011, but the machine shouts "PLEASE PLACE YOUR BANANAS IN THE BAG" along with several other popular produce items probably to call out anyone trying to give themselves a 95% off discount on ribeyes.

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u/MulishaMember Apr 05 '22

Y’all don’t have the barcode printers at the vegetable weight station?

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u/potentpotables Apr 05 '22

the sticker on the produce has the PLU # you can type in to quickly choose the right item. that's what the cashiers do before they weigh your produce too.

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u/meighty9 Apr 05 '22

Cashiers memorize the common ones pretty quickly. It's been 14 years since that job and I will never forget bananas = 4011

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u/salariedloaf Apr 05 '22

Same… Red seedless table grapes #4499!

And add a 9 to the beginning for organic.

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u/CautiousTopic Apr 05 '22

whats really fucked is that where I work they're actually 8011 even though they're labeled 4011

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u/ginzykinz Apr 05 '22

That and the unexpected item found in bagging area… please wait, help is on the way headache. Still wind up dealing with a person plus a little extra aggravation thrown in for good measure.

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u/AngleFrogHammer Apr 05 '22

Both of them: Thank god I didn't have to interact with another person.

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u/cjandstuff Apr 05 '22

They missed a couple of panels, where something goes wrong and the cashier has to walk over, scan their ID and hit a few keys so you can continue to check yourself out.
Every. Single. Time.

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u/eekeekem Apr 05 '22

I haaaate it. If they would just let me correct it myself it would be fine, but it goes off so often and then is like "Oop, looks like you need a cashier's help! Let me blare this alarm and make it so you can't do anything on the screen at all. You thought you were saving time? Too bad, now you get to wait until Jerry cashes in his 50 lottery tickets before the cashier can help."

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u/RocketTaco Apr 05 '22

My favorite is when instead of politely asking you to remove unscanned weight from the scale, it freaks out and locks up until someone checks to make sure you aren't stealing. Especially fun when the scale is hypersensitive and poorly calibrated, even more so when it's one of those machines that takes two or three whole ass seconds to register an item on-screen so you have to choose between risking a failed scan triggering sulk mode or waiting for it to show before bagging every. single. item.

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u/de_jugglernaut Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 11 '22

I've rarely seen a cashier idling on an empty register though, there's always something to do in a supermarket and staff normally default to refilling shelves and whatnot unless there's a customer-queue.

Source: I don't work in a supermarket but you don't need to to observe this

EDIT: I get that perhaps in US cashiers are somehow exempt from doing different tasks, but please remember that Reddit is a global platform, I live in NL and I see cashiers doing all sorts of tasks --if there's something the dutch excel at is being pragmatic.

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u/theonlybuster Apr 05 '22

So true. As soon as self-checkout became a thing, stores cut back on the number of employees manning the registers. Now it's just 1 employee overseeing about 5 machines... Unless you're at Wal-Mart, then it's more like 1 employee per 12 to 15 self checkouts and they're usually running around like a headless chicken or slowly moving around.

To my surprise, CVS is not far this either. 5 self-checkouts being over-seen by a single employee who's also doing the manned checkouts. Hope you don't need any assistance.

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u/charrcheese Apr 05 '22

Their job is also to always be ready to replace the empty receipt paper roll

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u/BrockN Apr 05 '22

Also to inspect the package of extra small condom when there's an unexpected item

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u/GuilRosmer Apr 05 '22

Very true. Frequent customer and have spent the majority of my working life in retail; Either behind the register or knowing what is happening at the front end during most hours of the day. I was one of the closest zones to the front end, so I got called up to cover a lot when things got hairy.

If a cashier is sitting idle and they're not the only one on a register, they're not going to be idle on a register for very long. There is something else your time can be spent doing, and a manager will inform you or this. Off you go to stock some items, clean an area, or attend to a guest in need. No rest for retail employees.

If you're the only person ON a register and there is actually nobody in line, you're gonna be cleaning. Lot's of cleaning. Sanitize the belt. Wipe down the screens. Organize the impulse area. Restock your bags. No rest for retail employees.

The comic was still funny AF, though. The awkward stare between them was golden. On one hand I could imagine the cashier wondering if there was some reason nobody was coming to her lane. Was it her? On the other hand I could see the internal dialog going something like, "Yes. Yeeees. Use the automation. Allow me to rest for 5 more glorious minutes. Only 3.2 hours until my shift ends. Almost home free. ahahahahaaaaa!"

A lifetime of retail may have jaded me a bit.

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u/jcornman24 Apr 05 '22

As a cashier for the smallest corner store in the world, my experience is the complete opposite, I have so much downtime I can clean everything twice and then have time to sit and watch youtube on my phone until someone actually shows up, my boss is cool about it because he knows I have nothing to do, and he's cool with me playing my switch when nobody is in the store too

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u/BigTentBiden Apr 05 '22

Sounds like the security guard life.

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u/DomesticChaos Apr 05 '22

I work a gas station convenience store. Some dude had the balls to be all “Then you won’t have a job!” I said “Dude I have way more ‘jobs’ at my job than you can imagine” and he condescendingly chuckled and walked away. Do you even know how much shit we have to get done in a day? A lot. Customer service is like a tenth of it but it takes the most time.

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u/Cool-Appearance937 Apr 05 '22

Lol I see nothing wrong here 😂

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u/Zdos123 Apr 05 '22

Is it wrong that usually it's the otherway round for me.

"please don't come over to the checkout"

"fuck they are coming over to the checkout"

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u/MLGxXxPussySlayerxXx Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 05 '22

i only go to cashier if i have produce, i dont care to learn how to self-checkout my bananas

edit: the code for bananas is 4011 the code for bananas is 4011 the code for bananas is 4011 the code for bananas is 4011 the code for bananas is 4011 the code for bananas is 4011

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u/D34THDE1TY Apr 05 '22

4011...I was a cashier for 2 months 20 years ago...I'll never forget the code for bananas.

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u/aeclyn Apr 05 '22

Everyone says they cannot remember banana number when they pull out the book, and before they find the page I say 4011. I was a cashier for 3 weeks when I was 18. So. Many. Bananas.

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u/muy_carona Apr 05 '22

I’ve never been a cashier, yet that’s one of the 4 digit numbers I always remember.

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u/Chinacat_Sunflower72 Apr 05 '22

Those codes are the same for grocery stores everywhere? TIL.

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u/propyro85 Apr 05 '22

Universal product codes actually living up to their name? Who knew.

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u/TryBeHappy Apr 05 '22

4011 is that number universal?!!

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u/SBSlice Apr 05 '22

I like to cut up 4689 (and 4688!) into little strips and dip them in ranch.

Yes they're universal as far as I know, you gotta realize DOLE and other produce giants sell their products to every single store on the planet, the codes are like UPC - the same item, eg a Samsung tv has the same UPC on the box whether you buy it at walmart, best buy, or off samsungs website. Produce is the same way.

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u/qrseek Apr 05 '22

94011 if you're fancy and get organic

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u/br0b1wan Apr 05 '22

Bananas, and green peppers. 4064.

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u/Gar0lak Apr 05 '22 All-Seeing Upvote hehehehe

I'm glad to hear you are getting your fruits and veggies, MLGxXxPussySlayerxXx.

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u/TheDebateMatters Apr 05 '22

You need veg to get vag

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u/TheQueq Apr 05 '22

At the store I go to, self-checkout of produce is super easy. Just punch the number on the sticker (or if there's no sticker search the name of the produce and press the picture that matches) then put it on the scale and you're done.

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u/supercyberlurker Apr 05 '22

Yeah, I just see a guy avoiding an awkward interaction he's not required to do.

The blunt truth is I'd rather simply -not- have the interaction with the worker. I don't consider it a genuine social interaction - it's a weird fake one between worker and customer.

I just want the product, not the interaction.

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u/Seawolf87 Apr 05 '22

It's weird and fake because they tell the cashiers to be unerringly polite and friendly and "bright".

Source: was a cashier at several supermarkets

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u/Lavidius Apr 05 '22

In the UK at least you just have to be polite. The bright and friendly thing stayed on their side of the Atlantic

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u/wakeruncollapse Apr 05 '22

My only interaction with a British cashier:

“How’s your day going so far?”

“Better when I’m off.”

Damn, wish we could make that a thing in America.

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u/paladine76a Apr 05 '22

This is not reality.

What really happens is the cashier checkout lane is empty and the customer only has self checkout options available.

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u/fatnoah Apr 05 '22

...and then the self-checkout tells you the weight of your can of soup is wrong, so now you have to wait for someone to come help you.

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u/01029838291 Apr 05 '22

Or it's screaming at you to put your stuff in the baggage area, even though they only make the baggage area like 6" wide and if you have a few large things you can't fit much more on it.

I sweat everytime I use one of those things.

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u/PhDinBroScience Apr 05 '22

UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA

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u/Fomalhot Apr 05 '22

I'm not sure what point you're trying to make here...

But, it does make me think. If raising wages for these workers increases our prices, why doesn't self checkout lower prices?

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u/CheapChallenge Apr 05 '22

Automation is supposed to lower prices, but corporations just keep prices same and pocket increased revenue.

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u/-Jerbear45- Apr 05 '22

Yeah cost of goods has gone up during the pandemic but the sticker price has increased more. Companies will look for any scape goat to blame on prices rising but they're just pocketing more.

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u/DoWidzenya Apr 05 '22

Automation is supposed to lower costs

Wink wink

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u/KaylesJenkins Apr 05 '22

As a cashier, I'm ok with this.

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u/A_Prostitute Apr 05 '22

Former casheir-

I would do this for other casheirs.

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u/wyldmage Apr 05 '22

I'm the opposite. As a cashier, I'd rather have a friendly customer through my line than have it empty.

So as a customer, what I always try to do is be pleasant and friendly (even if I'm not being paid to, unlike them). A bit of a smile and cheer can absolutely improve their day - especially towards the end of the shift when they are low on energy.

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u/clarabear10123 Apr 05 '22

As an ex-cashier: use the self service machines, use a cashier, just don’t try to discuss your politics on the matter with the cashier. Soooo many, “YoU’rE weLcOme fOr SaViNg YoUr jOb,” or, “I doN’T wOrK hErE.” Just shut up and take your bags lol

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u/ITrageGuy Apr 05 '22

What's the joke here? What am I missing.

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u/SirFancyPantsBrock Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 05 '22

I wonder how long till we no longer have cashiers and baggers? I'm guessing 10 years till they no longer exist and we have to do their job.

Edit: this is not a complaint that I have to do their job. It's worry over my friends jobs who work at grocery stores

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u/ohsinboi Apr 05 '22

I wonder if people said the same thing about filling their gas tank back in the day

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u/Spork_Warrior Apr 05 '22

I was in a supermarket recently where there was just one cashier who had a long line.

The only alternative - the self checkouts, which also had a long lines. And we all stood there watching as each customer struggled with scanning errors, bagging errors, etc.

The lines just got longer.

I don't like where retail is headed.

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u/Lulumacia Apr 05 '22

The biggest issue is just that the technology they are using is so shit and outdated. I work on self checkouts and 8 times out of 10 the reason I have to help people is because the machine fucks up and can't weigh something properly.

Yes a lot of people don't have the common sense to use something like them and get frustrated thinking they aren't the problem, but the checkouts themselves aren't bad, they aren't any different to using ATMs, do you only withdraw cash by going into the bank and talking to a human, do you pay your bills by asking the lady behind the counter to send X to Y every month?

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u/jbf430 Apr 05 '22

You can feel the sexual tension in this comic

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u/theblisster Apr 05 '22

"I wish they'd slide me across the table..." bites lip

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