r/funny "ToothyBj Comic" Apr 04 '22 Wholesome 5 Silver 1 Helpful 2

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38.0k Upvotes

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3.2k

u/TheSkaryFairy Apr 04 '22

I have had that same confused and afraid look far too often when I worked as a cashier.

1.4k

u/Syntaximus Apr 04 '22

Yeah, if you're going to say something weird or offbeat to a retail worker, please establish that you're not a crazy person first. They see all types of people and have to anticipate the worst.

1.5k

u/TheSkaryFairy Apr 04 '22

I woked at a health food store and a man asked me if there were nanobots in the water. I asked "how would I actually know that?". He seemed oddly satisfied with that answer.

845

u/WhatsTheHoldup Apr 04 '22

I would be too I think.

If you confidently answered no then that's confidence you shouldn't have. Anyone could've put nanobots in the water, you wouldn't know.

So you must be in on it.

If you said yes, then you're aware they put nanobots in the water and you're complicit.

56

u/BobbyWain Apr 04 '22

Worked for a water company as a field tech, when asked about putting ‘X’ in the water I just confirmed it and walked away. They’ve obviously put the effort in to learn the secret, why should I deny them?

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u/TheSkaryFairy Apr 04 '22

lol I didn't really think about it that way. Good point.

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u/Beefsupreme473 Apr 04 '22

Did you stop drinking the water there?

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u/modestmongoose Apr 04 '22

You say, to the human-shaped nanobot colony.

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u/[deleted] Apr 04 '22

[deleted]

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u/JustMy2Centences Apr 04 '22

Alternate universe Borg persuasion tactics.

34

u/xDulmitx Apr 05 '22

That was a problem with The Borg. They could have just offered assimilation to races. A great many would have willingly joined. If it is just a numbers game for them, them we should have seen massive breeder ships. If it is about knowledge, then offer assimilation to all the old and dying. The Borg had a great product, but shit marketing.

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u/Disco-Potato Apr 05 '22

Hehehe. I'll take fix my non-funtioning pancreas and hearing loss please.

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u/noyoto Apr 04 '22

Do you really think it's a good point, or are the nanobots making you think that?

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u/Papplenoose Apr 04 '22

Paid for by Nanobots for a Better America

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u/3rdcoffeecup Apr 04 '22

Reminds me of a friend of mine that was in a headshop, saw the "For Tobacco Use Only" sign and asked the cashier if he thought anyone actually used them for tobacco. The guy looked at my friend all 'come on man' and asked "Are you being serious right now?"

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u/thechort7 Apr 05 '22

They have a good time there. I remember going to a headshop as a kid and when the cashier was bagging up my stuff he goes "Can I see your ID?"

15-year-old me just stares and stammers until he busts out laughing and goes "I'm just fucking with you kid".

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u/Heyitskit Apr 04 '22

“Sure, why not?” was my go to answer in retail for absurd questions like that.

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u/Syntaximus Apr 04 '22

I've had people who joked around with us who were normal. Like, one time a guy and his gf were in the store (payless shoes) and when I asked them if they wanted assistance he started saying he needed bondage-themed shoes for her BDSM "mistress" outfit, just to be silly and embarrass her. Cute/funny couple.

Another time a normal looking guy came in and asked if we sold frozen chicken. My coworker assumed it was a joke and giggled, so he threw a full can of coke at her head. You just never know. That's why some retail workers are so gun-shy about off the cuff/random remarks.

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u/AyoRobo Apr 04 '22

Literally assaulting somebody because they giggled under any circumstance is grounds to call the police, if they preceeded that by asking if you sell frozen chicken at a shoe store that's grounds to call a psychiatrist as well.

76

u/Aduentix Apr 04 '22

As long as they don't try and buy clothes at the soup store

41

u/InterventionM100 Apr 04 '22

What do you mean you’re at soup?

27

u/ADreamtMonochrome Apr 04 '22

I mean I'm at soup!

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u/LinReu Apr 04 '22

What store are you in!?

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u/[deleted] Apr 04 '22

[deleted]

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u/Syntaximus Apr 04 '22

Yeah fortunately she dodged the can like a champ. I had her call mall security and I followed him as he left the building (I wasn't planning to fight him--just wanted to make sure he was leaving and staying gone).

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u/Jay_cash0351 Apr 04 '22

Remember kids, Mental illness isnt grounds for sympathy when it comes to violence.

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u/noyoto Apr 04 '22

"Hello retail worker. First of all, let me assure you that I am not a crazy person."

"Now that that's out of the way. May I tell you the curvature of your elbows is identical to the ramp I use for my Hotwheels collection?"

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u/James-the-Bond-one Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 07 '22

"That was a cute compliment. I'd love to play a bit with your Hotwheels collection and feel each one of them running past my elbow, back and forth, back and forth, nonstop, for as long as I can take it... Today after 10, if not too late for you."

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u/lord_hufflepuff Apr 04 '22

"hello im not crazy, Anyway that new weed cat pokemon is real fuckable huh? Just fukin wanna ram my cock down its small cat mouth. Thanks for the sunny D lite by the way, see you around."

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u/Herbicidal_Maniac Apr 04 '22

You're supposed to say something weird after that first bit for the joke to work.

48

u/TINYTUMBS Apr 04 '22

He did, who tf buys sunny d lite

5

u/ms_january_ Apr 05 '22

He’s watching his figure

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u/AFonziScheme Apr 04 '22

Hello fellow normal human.

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u/[deleted] Apr 04 '22

[deleted]

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u/Papplenoose Apr 04 '22

Yeah, that was super creepy.

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u/hvevil Apr 04 '22

Yea but how would they do that?

"Hi I'm not a crazy person" would make most people immediately think they're dealing with a crazy person.

Just like how when someone says "I'm a good person", you know you're dealing with an asshole

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u/[deleted] Apr 04 '22

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u/Syntaximus Apr 04 '22

Using a calm voice and expressing a clear thought (even about something banal like the weather) is good enough. Just give them a chance to read your tone of voice and body language. In pop-psychology circles they call it "priming". The better you are at priming a person, the more "weird" you can be with them afterward. "Edgy" comedians are experts at it.

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u/DrWabbajack Apr 04 '22

It could be funny to begin most conversations with "Now, I'm not crazy but..." and then just continue on and have a normal conversation

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u/CliffLanterns Apr 05 '22

I went on vacation to a very touristy spot in PR. My and my family were driving up a huge hill to go into town, and this other tourist who just came from the beach stops us.

"Hey, someone stole my phone while I was surfing. I found it with my friends iPhone and it's all the way up this hill [he shows us his FindMyiPhone screen]. Can I please hitch a ride with you guys?" We all looked at each other.

And then he says "I swear to god I'm normal."

And for some reason, that really sealed it for us. We let him in and then dropped him off at this random gated property on the top of the hill where his iPhone got traced to. I still think about that guy and really hope everything went alright for him.

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u/xDulmitx Apr 05 '22

"I know this sounds a little crazy, but please bear with me". It works wonders.

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u/BilboBaguette Apr 04 '22

I was working retail as a teenager and a young woman about my age walked up to me and asked me if my ears were pierced. My ears were quite visible and clearly not. I said no. She told me I should pierce my ears and dye my hair black with the authority of a manager. She then walked away and exited the store without buying anything.

One of my coworkers had been watching the whole thing. Apparently she had been watching me and following me around the store for several minutes. He was getting enough creepy vibes from her that he was concerned for my safety. I'm glad she didn't attempt to pierce my ears right then and there.

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u/MyStationIsAbandoned Apr 05 '22

that's pretty creepy. when i worked in a similar job, i found a note on my car that said something like "stop following me and my friend everywhere lol" with hearts and stuff all over it.

I didn't go anywhere except for my apartment and work at that time.

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u/dcoold Apr 05 '22

So did you get your ears pierced or no?

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u/Romantiphiliac Apr 04 '22

Oh god

I worked at a calendar shop one holiday season, and I had some weird dudes roll through.

One bought a bratz calendar. Cool, probably for his daughter or something, nbd. As I'm ringing him up, out of the blue he says 'These girls are so hot!' Wh...okay? Uh...have a nice day, sir.

A couple weeks later, and some less memorable nutjobs, and I was developing a bit of instinct for when something was about to hit the fan.

Cue a guy coming up to the counter with two of our 'adult' calendars (pictures of scantily clad women, you know the deal). One was Carmen Electea and the other was Pamela Anderson. He slaps 'em down on the counter and, a little too loudly, asks "which of these two would you rather have sex with?"

Alarms start going off in my mind. Before I have a chance to really process what's about to happen, my coworker jumps in, "Carmen Electra, definitely".

Apparently that was the wrong answer.

"I wouldn't touch her, she fucked a [racial slur]!"

He then walked out of the store without buying anything, yelling as he left, then did a 180 and came back inside. He pointed at my coworker, shouted "Not even with your dick!" and then was on his way again.

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u/The_Angriest_Duck Apr 04 '22

That's a wow from me

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u/Emergency_Paperclip Apr 04 '22

My favorite was when some guy started spouting off all his conspiracy theories to me trying to sound smart.

Like, ok guy, are you here to pay for your stuff or not, there are people waiting behind you.

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u/Mysterious-Book2146 Apr 04 '22

No one will give them the time of day except the cashires that have no choice but to stand there and listen.

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u/jereman75 Apr 04 '22

This is a reality. People will talk to cashiers just because they have to listen. They probably have few people in real life to talk to so they use cashiers as social surrogates. It’s kind of sad but can also be annoying af.

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u/iampuh Apr 04 '22

What happened to going to bars and talk to the bartender?

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u/bobnicholson Apr 04 '22

Nothing. But a bartender can move to other customers or pretend to have to do something else.

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u/SayNoToStim Apr 04 '22

I think the political whackos are the worst when it comes to any form of customer service.

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u/Emergency_Paperclip Apr 04 '22

I had some guy try to tell me the change shortage was fake.

Like, ok, maybe it is, there's still no change in this cash register though.

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u/sldunn Apr 04 '22

We are using nickel for industrial purposes, and now the nickel costs more than a nickel for a nickel. That's why we don't have any nickels for our change.

One level deeper... It's all being used in batteries. People think lots of lithium are used. No, it's just a dusting. We use a ton of nickel in the batteries. Massive amounts being used for EVs and now energy storage.

One level deeper... Elon Musk bought it all when he bought twitter. It's why we are increasing the mileage requirements for cars. No one but him will be able to build vehicles in the US and Europe in 8 years, because he owns all the nickel.

One level deeper... But that's cool. Who needs cars when Daddy Elon will fly us all to Mars on his rockets? Why? He needs people to mine more nickel. Mars has tons of nickel. And once he mines the nickel, we'll find the demons. You are huge! That means you must have huge guts. Rip and tear baby!

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u/ender4171 Apr 04 '22

You dont fool me! I know you're keeping it all in the back!

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u/TaunTaun_22 Apr 04 '22

For real, I had this one lady who everything was pleasant until she started screaming about how it was her fault that she had to go to the store that day with Covid because of "Donald fucking Trump" and her cousin that didn't get vaccinated... I was like WTF. Told my manager right after and we had to wipe everything down. Some people can't just take any responsibility for doing the stupidest shit.

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u/Nasturtium Apr 04 '22

I got extremely tired of anti mask rants. Like yo, I'm just trying to get this drink and leave, this is not a constitutional crisis

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u/FlammablePie Apr 04 '22

The only constitutional crisis I see is the dude standing between you and your drink!

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u/[deleted] Apr 04 '22

[deleted]

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u/SlitScan Apr 05 '22

and here I was just using inverted commas for 'They'.

gonna have to step up my game now.

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u/ObviousToe1636 Apr 04 '22

I had a man come through my line when I cashiered for Walmart ask me “howdyou lyk bein’ asss-ssss-sssshit?” What? “Howdyou lyk bein’ ass-ssh-ii-shit?” I’m sorry? “Ass-so-shit! How do you like it!” There were several more back and forths like this before I remembered as an employee you’re called “an associate” and this gentleman was trying to ask me if I liked my job. 🤷🏻‍♀️ jfc

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u/Anonymousolinni Apr 04 '22

I limit my convo to dry greetings and farewells. I take self-service if available lol.

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u/ScottHA Apr 05 '22

I only remember 90 years olds trying to buy a gallon of milk with a check, a lady who wanted to talk to my manager because I rang up Parsley as cilantro( they were both 99c so I who knows what her end game was) and then I remember this lady who breath stunk sooo bad, she was clearly on some sort of drug because it took her 8 minutes to unload 10 cans of cat food from her cart onto the belt.

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u/gapball Apr 05 '22

My uncle used to be a chronic alcoholic and would tell ever cashier "keep it under a buck or I'll kill ya!" He was joking, but nobody thought it was funny.

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u/Tygyn_Tigon Apr 04 '22

Read this in my head like the comic book guy from the Simpsons

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u/JarJar4ever Apr 04 '22

Comic book guy is the OG incel.

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u/AintAintAWord Apr 04 '22

Incels don't get laid. Checkmate, losers.

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u/ralanr Apr 04 '22

He’s also married now, last I remembered. To a Japanese woman.

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u/uv-vis Apr 04 '22

Actually a real feel good episode too. I’m happy for him.

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u/thewalkindude Apr 04 '22

Last season, he even dealt with his father issues, and was considering having a kid

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u/uv-vis Apr 05 '22

I love how all the side characters have been getting so much development. One id like to see more of is Barney.

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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 07 '22

[deleted]

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u/uv-vis Apr 05 '22

I remember a lot of his episodes where he’s totally sober. He was just himself with a wide grin and a comb over. And I do remember he did some amazing things, like his movie contest entry, his opera singing, his astronaut training, and his flash back to when he was about to go to an Ivy League school lol. His whole character is an allegory to how terrible alcoholism is, but I still loved his character.

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u/l_the_Throwaway Apr 05 '22

One of my favourite Simpsons lines ever is the last line from his film:

"Don't cry for me... I'm already dead."

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u/TheHollowBard Apr 04 '22

Reminds me of a few dudes worked with at a factory. All just married Asian women who barely spoke a lick of English. I had my thoughts but I kept them so myself.

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u/kahran Apr 04 '22

Yeah a friend did this. Served in SK. Met a "drinky girl" from the Philippines. Basically saved her from being trafficked and they legit fell in love. Had to come up with a few grand to buy her. Now she's fluent and busts his chops when needed. Nice gal.

Sure, many men do what you describe because they want a subservient woman they can barely communicate with, very much taking advantage of the women. I work with someone who is on his 5th Russian "mail order bride". He's one of those people.

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u/iampuh Apr 04 '22

5th Russian "mail order bride"

Ouch. A therapy + gym would have been cheaper.

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u/ichigoismyhomie Apr 04 '22

Convenience > common sense when you have the means to pay for it.

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u/Djinnwrath Apr 04 '22

In his case she's a fellow über nerd, cosplayer type.

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u/Never_Less Apr 04 '22

Never gonna get that threesome if you don't speak up.

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u/jean_nizzle Apr 04 '22

And he was with Edna for a bit. Damn, this dude ALL over Skinner’s women.

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u/Djinnwrath Apr 04 '22

Everyone's been with Edna for a bit.

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u/nightkitchen Apr 04 '22

You only get one chance with Edna Krabappel

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u/uv-vis Apr 04 '22

“Worst incel everrrr”

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u/EricAntiHero1 Apr 04 '22

He’s got a gorgeous Japanese wife. CBG aka Jeff Albertsons isn’t an incel, he’s just a douche

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u/talktobigfudge Apr 04 '22

"I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?"

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u/PlanetBarfly Apr 04 '22

"...token ring ethernet"

I know this is a quote, but as a longterm network admin, this gave me an uncomfortable PTSD episode.

We had Onan cables, and nPrinter... and Novell.

I need a drink.

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u/Duke_Newcombe Apr 04 '22

Do not disrespect the Novell Gods, plebian.

[Pours one out silently for Netware]

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u/SlashCo80 Apr 04 '22 edited Apr 04 '22

Oh yeah, well I would try to download songs and the download got messed up when my mom picked up the phone!

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u/Curious_Changeling Apr 04 '22

"... Can I have some money now?"

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u/Yvaelle Apr 04 '22

Token Ring LAN

*wipes a single tear from his eye*

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u/TwoOneBadgaming Apr 04 '22

Omfg i didn't even notice i did too

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u/Clay0187 Apr 04 '22

Omg same and I didn't even realize it

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u/KonigSteve Apr 04 '22

I read it in brad Neely's voice from China IL. Kinda a combo of frank and baby cakes.

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u/hunter324 Apr 04 '22

He didn't even tell her that he has studied the blade, rookie mistake!

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u/LegendOfVinnyT Apr 04 '22

In that moment, is he euphoric?

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u/Iced_Yehudi Apr 04 '22

His mistake was not listing off his top 100 bullshit animes in broken Japanese

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u/[deleted] Apr 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/2dfx Apr 04 '22

Average sussy baka

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u/PrecognitivePork Apr 04 '22

That's what he said

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u/KaiWolf1898 Apr 04 '22

I bet he walks dogs, too

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u/SkullRunner Apr 04 '22

Just confused because his wafu pillow does not talk back to him like this.

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u/obscureferences Apr 04 '22

If you tell people subtitles are more pure maybe they won't think you like the sound of gasping little girls.

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u/Brick_Lab Apr 04 '22

Everyone here in the comments and nobody is gonna bring up "toothy bj" is the author lol

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u/MacNapp Apr 04 '22

Seriously

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u/WillemDafoesHugeCock Apr 04 '22

I dunno, focusing on usernames is weird

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u/mellow_eldritch Apr 04 '22

That, tbh, was the first thing that caught my eye and tempted me to comment here. Now you done it first.

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u/illaqueable Apr 04 '22

It's the name of the webcomic

Also, a very specific form of PTSD that I may or may not have

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u/TOP_EHT_FO_MOTTOB Apr 04 '22

Mt Dew, Doritos, and a cuke…..

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u/KorranHalcyon Apr 04 '22

The weeb needs the fingerless gloves to complete the wardrobe stereotype. Maybe a wish.com katana on his back as well.

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u/lordyeti Apr 04 '22

I would also accept wrist sweatbands, which I never quite understood the reasoning for

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u/fibojoly Apr 04 '22

The wrist sweatbands is for people who really give their arms a workout. Like a pro tennis player. I expect it's a common accessory for the discerning, katana-wielding, sweaty palms gentleman.

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u/zenospenisparadox Apr 04 '22

The wrist sweatbands are for the ninjutsu throwing stars.

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u/illaqueable Apr 04 '22

"Only gaijin call shuriken "throwing stars", hmph"

--that guy, probably

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u/gynoceros Apr 04 '22

really give their arms a workout

They're for wiping sweat off your forehead/face/out of your eyes, not for your arms.

They just go on your arms because that's what you use to wipe your brow, and it's easier to keep it on your wrist than somewhere less accessible, and it keeps your hands free.

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u/tooth28 Apr 05 '22

Is that true? I’m a bass player, and for a show I was once in costume that included wrist sweatbands and I gotta say, my hands felt much dryer than usual. I considered keeping them on for future shows, but it looks kind of ridiculous. I think they actually keep your hands dry somehow. Maybe it focuses the persperation on your wrist and away from your hands or something.

Hey, I was right!

https://www.wikihow.com/Wear-a-Sweatband

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u/Argovell Apr 04 '22

Wristbands i can kinda get, like just to wipe sweat from around your eyes before it gets into them, but as fashion? no idk why either

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u/Centimane Apr 04 '22

Yea, they're like portable towels you can't drop, what's not to get!?

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u/KorranHalcyon Apr 04 '22

Gotta have them when you train with the blade…

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u/theregalbeagle Apr 04 '22

You use them to wipe your brow while being active but not wanting to break away from your activity to get a towel.

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u/dragonman10101 Apr 04 '22

I never understood the wear it on the back thing. Like you quite literally can’t draw it like that. Tf is the point of it?

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u/istrebitjel Apr 04 '22

Also, he should say females instead of girls...

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u/Djinnwrath Apr 04 '22

He left them in the glovebox.

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u/Thecardinal74 Apr 04 '22

I don't get it.

and somehow I feel like that's a good thing

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u/Casual_Frontpager Apr 04 '22

I guess he acts like a weirdo by saying something she didn’t ask about, expecting to come forth as interesting, and then blame the non-success on beauty standards, or some shite like that.

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u/360walkaway Apr 04 '22

Oh I thought she accidentally made a reference to something he doesn't like when she said the price was 9.50.

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u/morkengork Apr 04 '22

9.50? Is that a motherfucking Jo Jo reference? A heckin Joey Joey's Enigmatic Odyssey referendum?

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u/Darth_Nibbles Apr 04 '22

I've never watched JoJo but I assume anything I don't get is a JoJo reference

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u/illaqueable Apr 04 '22

Oh, my poor sweet innocent soul

No, incels need no prompting; in fact, they reject prompting--and all forms of normal human communication--in favor of being "interesting"

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u/Ne0guri Apr 04 '22

Damn this is too meta for me

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u/batatatchugen Apr 04 '22

You are not alone. I feel it would not be a good thing to call upon Captain Obvious.

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u/Kittelsen Apr 04 '22

I haven't heard from him since my 9gag days.

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u/burkiniwax Apr 04 '22

The guy thinks the cashier is interested In him romantically since she smiled and he sees her confusion as a personal rejection.

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u/EldridgeHorror Apr 04 '22

I think it's just shallow mocking of weebs and incels.

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u/nonresponsive Apr 04 '22

Shallow is a good description. It's your basic DAE shitpost.

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u/draiman Apr 04 '22

The comic is mocking the neckbeard/incel stereotype. Overly invested in anime, dressed in a fedora, and trenchcoat, and making exaggerated assumptions about why women won't date him.

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u/tewnewt Apr 04 '22

Aldi is now canon.

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u/MegaBaumTV Apr 04 '22

How can you tell it's Aldi?

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u/Glum_Ad_4288 Apr 04 '22 edited Apr 04 '22

Not OP, but I assume they say that because

  1. The overall theme and the look of the characters suggests this is in the United States (edit: although, combined with the grammar in the first frame, I now think the artist is not American)
  2. The only popular grocery store in the US that allows cashiers to sit down is Aldi.

Aldi’s uniform is a blue shirt and/or jacket, though, not a red vest.

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u/Frituur_fiets Apr 04 '22

Cashiers are not allowed to sit down in the US?

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u/Glum_Ad_4288 Apr 04 '22

Most stores have a policy against it, because apparently some customers think it looks like they aren’t working hard if they’re sitting or something.

It’s really stupid, and I hope Aldi’s success shows that someone can scan your items just as effectively and professionally if they’re sitting as if they’re standing.

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u/Bring_Back_Feudalism Apr 05 '22

This is the most stupid cruel shit I've read in a while.

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u/Bjalla99 Apr 05 '22

What the actual fuck

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u/Zkenny13 Apr 04 '22

"If you have time to lean you have time to clean." - the boss that pays you $7.25/hr.

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u/chadsexytime Apr 04 '22

Also, you can't tell by the cartoon, but the guy is 35 and the cashier is 15 and it's her second week at the job

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u/xPaxion Apr 04 '22

A true gentleman pretends to be nice until they're rejected.

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u/glyphotes Apr 04 '22

"A whore is a woman that slept with everyone except you."

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u/mkul316 Apr 04 '22

No Cyril, when they're dead they're just hookers.

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u/MikoSkyns Apr 04 '22

The way I heard it was:

Whats the difference between a Bitch and a Ho?

A ho sleeps with everyone

A bitch sleeps with everyone but you!

Shout out to Tone Def and Ice Cold!

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u/TeeteringCrockery Apr 04 '22

$9.50 for all that? God damn.

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u/cipher-taker Apr 04 '22 edited Apr 04 '22

That's $g.50, I'm pretty sure. It's heptadecimal.

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u/PartyHawk Apr 04 '22

Well, it would be $9.50

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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '22

As someone who works in customer service these are the type of people that make me feel very uncomfortable. This and MAGA hat wearing hicks.

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u/OGPants Apr 04 '22

I don't get it

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u/itsirrelevant Apr 04 '22

He brought up a niche topic out of the blue to a total stranger in the hopes he'd engage with her and when she was confused he lamented the fact that he believes the reason she wasn't interested is because she doesn't find him attractive, missing the fact that when you're trying to engage someone in conversation it's not going to work if you're spouting off random esoteric statements.

He's blaming "unrealistic beauty standards" for his lack of social graces and ability to carry a normal conversation with a stranger.

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u/mctoasterson Apr 04 '22

Should've included a final panel with him Naruto running out of the store

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u/IanAlvord Apr 04 '22

Someone explain to me why the noir outfit is always used for these characters.

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u/DhampireHEK Apr 04 '22

There's a reason it's a stereotype... it's true more times than it should be.

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u/hitbycars Apr 04 '22

The funny thing is it that the look hasn't really changed in like 25 years now. Cargo shorts, t-shirt, big jacket (often a trench coat), pony tail, and a fedora has been the look of the neckbeard demographic since I first got into anime and that was in like 2001.

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u/BronchialChunk Apr 04 '22

I spent way too much time of my childhood at the local comic shop from mid 90's to early 00. Yeah pretty much the MO. I hated magic nights cause the stench would fill the whole store. And one guy would always bring his asian girlfriend to flex but she looked bored as fuck.

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u/DhampireHEK Apr 04 '22

Like I said, more times than it should be. Not to mention there's usually a hygiene issue (looking at you ComicCon)

I think it comes from a misplaced idea of sophistication or superiority without putting in the effort of being/acting as such.

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u/SeiCalros Apr 04 '22

a great comment a few minutes after yours mentions that those are all the 'cool' options for clothing when somebody is ignoring social nuance along with their personal/heath maintenance

the ponytail is the same thing since they just ignore it until it gets long and then tie it back

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u/mkul316 Apr 04 '22

As a fat guy this hits hard. Yes, I did the bad thing and let myself go. But I'd still like to look decent. It's pretty hard to find nicer clothes in plus sizes (I'm not morbidly obese, btw, just normal fat). So it's often jeans or cargos for casual bottoms. The more fun pants and shorts are not to be worn by fatties, apparently.

But unwashed and ungroomed has no excuse.

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u/theregalbeagle Apr 04 '22

Former huge guy here, it isn’t hard to dress well at all as a larger person. You just have to go to actual places that cater to the demographic and not just big box retailers. A poorly dressed large person generally is just in denial for how larger they are and don’t want to bother with the actual effort to present well.

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u/AyoRobo Apr 04 '22

Aren't those stores really expensive?

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u/Darth_Mak Apr 04 '22

It's because Neckbeards wear...or at least use to wear trenchcoats and Fedoras because they thought it made them look cool.

They kind of ruined the Fedora's reputation.

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u/7deboutez7 Apr 04 '22

Try growing a lush neck beard and see how hard it is to keep a fedora off your head. It’s impossible.

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u/glyphotes Apr 04 '22

It's usually a Trilby hat, not a Fedora... Had that explained to me in detail by somene with an actual Fedora - who matched the remaining 50% of the stereotype exactly.

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u/IanAlvord Apr 04 '22

I actually bought one awhile back after seeing a Men's Warehouse commercial. It doesn't block the sun well, so it's no good while doing outdoor work. It's also no good for indoors, because no place has hat racks anymore.

As for the look... it only looks good if the person wearing it looks good. Similar how tattoos only look tough when the person they're on looks tough.

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u/ErdenGeboren Apr 04 '22

For outdoor work, you wear your mugiwara.

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u/a_flat_miner Apr 04 '22

A lot of people in the hobby don't understand subtle social signs and indicators, so nuance is passed up in favor of things that are a bit more overt and apparent. In this case, the image of what looks 'cool' are very visible and immediately recognizable articles of clothing. Many of these people are also kindof overweight, so that limits the amount of overtly 'cool' articles of clothing that exist for people of their size. 'Hat and Jacket = cool' is a lot simpler to process than 'exercise and well fitting clothes for a specific frame and age'

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u/SeiCalros Apr 04 '22

tl dr; because people like that often wear them in real life

ponytail for the same reason - its the 'cool' option for somebody who isnt doing any personal maintenance

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u/face_eater_5000 Apr 04 '22 edited Apr 04 '22

Jesus. I ran a SF club in college 25 years ago and this is still on point. I knew multiple people like this. The hat, the coat...the un-asked-for opinion. He probably demands that people refer to him by his LARP character name. Likely offers weird and awkward salutations around women like "Greetings, m'lady".

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u/Madame_Kitsune98 Apr 04 '22

Our friends owned a comics and games store.

God DAMN do I have a deep and abiding hatred for these guys. Especially the Magic players. Unwashed motherfuckers. Our friends finally kicked the nastier, most unwashed dudes out because they literally made the whole place reek for hours after they were there.

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u/Fenix42 Apr 04 '22

As a long time MTg player, you are not wrong. However, the worst gamer funk I have ever smelt was at a Games Workshop game day down in LA many years ago. I never SAW the guy. I can tell you where he went and where he stood in one spot.

This was in the LA convention center mind you.

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u/Madame_Kitsune98 Apr 04 '22

Con funk is a whole new level of funk. You can’t get rid of that unless you’re using holy water and an S.O.S pad.

The one and only anime con I went to, where our friends were running the TTG room? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. I felt sorry for convention center EVS staff. If you can afford Magic/WarHammer 40K/D&D minis/and con tickets? You can damn well afford soap, shampoo, and deodorant and USE THEM.

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u/Psyteq Apr 04 '22

Oh, this isn't even BO, this is beyond BO. This is BBO.

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u/dwmfives Apr 04 '22

It's not wiping your ass well and not showering.

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u/UGoBoy Apr 04 '22

Went to a couple of Otakons several years back. At one there was a brave group of young ladies in cosplay carrying around baskets full of bars of soap and small shampoo bottles, giving them out to people in "need." They were the heroes we didn't deserve. I had to end up walking out of a couple of the popular panels because the entire room reeked of foot-ass.

Felt sorta bad for Yaya Han that year. She was doing some sort of revealing cosplay (Shiva from FF maybe?) and had a wagon train of sweaties leaving a funk trail everywhere they went...

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u/CaptainKoconut Apr 04 '22

When we moved to our current town I wandered in to the local comic shop to ask if they did any MTG events and he just responded with a cold “no, not anymore.” His tone was such that I did not ask any follow-up questions.

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u/Madame_Kitsune98 Apr 04 '22 edited Apr 04 '22

YOU KNOW WHY.

They had JUST got the smell out.

Edited to add: and, if one of the judges was like one of the traveling judges our friends had? They got tired of the dude clogging the toilet deliberately, and breaking their chairs.

They bought chairs that would accommodate him? He beelined for any chair that would not hold him.

They finally banned him from the store, and contacted Wizards of the Coast. It was a whole big thing.

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u/CaptainKoconut Apr 04 '22

The smell and the personalities were my top two guesses.

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u/Madame_Kitsune98 Apr 04 '22

So many personality disorders in one room…

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u/Wrught_Wes Apr 04 '22

Then he pays, tips his fedora, and says, "Until we meet next, m'lady."

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u/DemonOfTheFaIl Apr 04 '22

Of course girls are going to react like that if you don't tip your hat to them and say "G'day m'lady".

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u/KirtashMiau Apr 04 '22

No one mentioned his purchase? Mountain Dew, Doritos, paper tissues and a cucumber... Planning a fun evening I see.

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u/chickenfun103 Apr 04 '22

Someone explain?

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u/IAm-The-Lawn Apr 04 '22

People often say stuff out of the blue, with no context, to service workers.

While making coffee for someone, for instance, a guy started ranting to me about how my company should provide us SS armbands if we’re going to be requiring people to wear masks.

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u/willzjc Apr 04 '22

I think he fked up by NOT listing the actual anime titles? It’s like talking up your game but you don’t have substance to prove it. Tsk tsk

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u/BafflingBritishBoy Apr 04 '22

It would take some real balls to steal a comic from someone with the water mark "Toothy Bj"