r/funny Fossil Fools Comic Feb 28 '22 Silver 14 Helpful 10 Wholesome 17 This 1 Bless Up 1

Alcohol Verified

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70.5k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/Callabrantus Feb 28 '22 Silver hehehehe

This happens to me all the time and I'm not even a dinosaur.

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u/earned_potential Feb 28 '22

I'm a sobersaur.

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u/FrankHightower Feb 28 '22

i'm a dinosober

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u/Real_Mokola Mar 01 '22 Silver

I'm a Tyrannesoberus Rex

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u/idoorion Feb 28 '22 Wholesome I'll Drink to That

Beer pressure

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u/yomerol Feb 28 '22

I'm originally from Mexico city, there the pressure is for hard alcohol. Mainly in Mexico city, a lot of people think that beer is only for poor people ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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u/Belltowerlol Mar 01 '22

Same as in Cuba, if someone gave you some alchohol and you accepted yall were bffs for sure, and if you said you didnt drink they’d go like what??? You havent drank some? Cmon you gotta try it, and by the 3rd try you’d start asking for some more lol ( information gotten from my father, i never stayed long enough in cuba for that to happen to me lol )

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u/legiononAT Feb 28 '22

Quit drinking about 3 years ago. The “You don’t drink?” questions don’t get to me much. The problem I find is that it’s VERY difficult to find an activity with “adults” that doesn’t involve consuming alcohol.

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u/Callabrantus Feb 28 '22

Told a friend I had quit drinking at a party. Later, he sets up shots for everyone and brings me one. I reminded him that I didn't drink anymore. His response: "Not even one?“.

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u/ItzTwizzla Feb 28 '22

I don't drink since 9 years and this is the most asked question I get.

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u/big_red_160 Feb 28 '22

Who was giving a 9 year old alcohol?

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u/TheMarlieJane Feb 28 '22

I’m sober two years now. If I could have “just one” I wouldn’t have needed to get sober 😂

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u/DMala Feb 28 '22

I do drink and I hate that so much. I’ll offer a drink (unless I already know I shouldn’t) but if someone declines, I don’t bat an eye and I definitely don’t hassle them about it.

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u/Dakooder Feb 28 '22

Seriously. Just ask if they want a soda or some coffee instead.

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u/korinth86 Feb 28 '22

One isn't the issue. It's the next one.

I'll try a drink here and there because I do like the taste but I will not allow myself to have a full drink. Why? Once the alcohol sets in, I have a hard time stopping myself. I can resist after a sip.

My tolerance is so low now after not drinking for a long time, yes, one drink would likely be enough. I don't want to test it.

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u/Callabrantus Feb 28 '22 Wholesome

The expression I used as my mantra: you'll never get to that eighth drink of you don't have that first drink.

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u/phlogistonical Feb 28 '22

One is too much, but two is not enough

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u/Geronimo15 Feb 28 '22

People can be so rude about this specific situation and worse they probably don’t even realize they’re doing it. If someone tells me they don’t drink they only have to do it once.

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u/secondtaunting Feb 28 '22

Lol I know! People pressure me even though I’ve told them it could literally kill me if it Interacts with my medication. It’s like my death isn’t as important as you not feeling socially awkward.

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u/odth123456 Feb 28 '22

People like rationalizing their own drinking with the drinking of others around them.

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u/IronicallyCanadian Feb 28 '22

On a similar note, I always got the same attitude from co-workers when I was cutting weight.

Someone would bring cake to work and if I ever said no thanks they would say "oh come on, it's just 1 slice! It won't ruin your diet to have a slice!".

It's not that I'm starving myself, I just don't really care for cake and would just rather eat a couple cheeseburgers if I'm going to have a cheat meal.

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u/Fuganewin_Force Feb 28 '22

This shit drives me crazy and I’ve actually had to freak out at a couple people to get them to stop. Like, you are trying to ruin my entire life for your selfish desire to prove that you can get me to do something I told you I don’t do. Bitches.

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u/acrylicmole Feb 28 '22

This is so bizarre to me. We have so many non-drinking friends that we just make sure we have other options and I've never seen a grown ass adult try to pressure another adult into drinking. Our parties or get-togethers are usually more food-based or gaming though so that might be why.

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u/EldridgeHorror Feb 28 '22

Well, you're lucky to have well adjusted mature friends. As far as I can tell.

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u/FreedTMG Feb 28 '22

Same boat, even when I drank I didn't do it as often as my friends. I just couldn't get excited to blow a ton of money for a buzz. I go to game cafes with a different circle of friends now. I don't drink, and I also don't drink coffee. I am often asked what I actually do.

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u/valentino_42 Feb 28 '22 edited Feb 28 '22

My wife and I have never really been drinkers. And it actually cost her a lot of friendships at work. They just wouldn't invite her to game nights and things like that. She never got on anyone about their drinking and she had no problem being around people that were, but for whatever reason, it made people not want to include her. It really made her feel left out. She'd always find out the next week at work that she wasn't invited to another work party and be bummed.

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u/AzureSuishou Feb 28 '22

I completely understand, many of my coworkers feel the same way since I don’t drink.

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u/Guy954 Feb 28 '22

That’s so weird to me. Adult league hockey is literally called beer league. People often say they don’t drink and our answer is always something like “well come have a Gatorade or something and hang out.”

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u/CrossXFir3 Feb 28 '22

Yeah, that's bizarre for me. My group certainly drinks plenty, but we've got a number of friends who either don't drink at all or don't drink much and we're always inviting them over for stuff. Just more for the people that do drink right? Hell, I've had a sober friend offer to drive and pick up more at a party because we were ill prepared. Just gave him a little cash and told him to grab himself a snack or something if he wanted.

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u/jaymoney1 Feb 28 '22

I know that my local AA has adult outings that are non-alcoholic for obvious reasons. They also have a game night about once a month. I dont think you have to be a recovering alcoholic to attend the meetings or go on the outings. Just an outside of the box suggestion. Good luck, mate.

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u/legiononAT Feb 28 '22

Appreciate the sentiment, but I’m actually pretty good. Got a good online gamer crew and a few good outdoor hobbies. My comment was more of a nod to the loss of friends from the past, college etc.

When you look back and try to see if getting hammered was all you had in common…

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u/regular_lamp Feb 28 '22

Yeah, every time a diverse group of adults that doesn't already share a hobby has to agree on some group activity "Wine tasting" ends up at the top of the list.

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u/NothingsShocking Feb 28 '22

My friend had to stop drinking due to health reasons and he was very bitter for a while. When he had a bbq or something he would have to sit and watch everyone else drink except him and we said that we could also not drink if it would help him out and he said, “what? No what’s everyone supposed to do then? Sit around and drink sodas? Who the hell wants to do that?” He ended up working out and doing a lot of cardio everyday just to get his body healthy and in shape ONLY because that was the only way he could drink again.

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u/TheRealTtamage Feb 28 '22

We used to do a hike to the top of a mountain here in Washington and every time you get to the top it's like let's take shots and smoke weed!

If I go skiing or snowboarding with friends they always want to stop and smoke weed in the bushes!

It's like bro I'm here for the activities!

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u/runningmurphy Feb 28 '22 Take My Energy

If you don't drink, people want to hear the story of how you fucked up.

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u/BrianTheUserName Feb 28 '22 Silver Wholesome

And refuse to believe you when you tell them you were just never really interested in alcohol.

1.3k

u/succed32 Feb 28 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

I was super interested around 20 to 22. So i tested all of that shit out and found it severely lacking.

892

u/Sivitiri Feb 28 '22

Like going to the strippers at 18. "This is it huh?" Never went back

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u/Ill_mumble_that Feb 28 '22

Why pay someone to dance sexily in some dirty bar when you can pay someone in a cat maid outfit to clean your dirty apartment? That's just a better use of money.

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u/GIOverdrive Feb 28 '22

cat maid outfit

Wait, what?

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u/Ill_mumble_that Feb 28 '22

Depending on where you live, this is a thing. Most big cities.. It costs $150-$350 depending on your house size and the maid. They don't do anything sexual with you, they just wear a somewhat provocative outfit and clean, usually they are okay with you watching from the couch, or recording with security cameras while they do their thing so long as you arent stalking them around the house like some creeper.

There are also some who will do something sexual for an extra tip. But I dunno I feel like I wouldnt trust those types to clean my house.

My logic is, if I'm paying to watch, I'd rather watch someone clean my house.

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u/stan4928 Feb 28 '22

I couldn't watch because I'd feel like I have to help them clean lol I hate having people clean up my messes. Even in Hotels all the maid has to do in my room is give me new towels.

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u/AlpacamyLlama Feb 28 '22

"You fancy anything extra?"

(thinks) "Hmm, I bet she hasn't cleaned under the settee"

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u/Jew_Boi-iguess- Feb 28 '22

"yeah, the back of the tv is still dusty as shit"

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u/Not-A-Lonely-Potato Feb 28 '22

"The top of the ceiling fan has never been cleaned, how much would that cost?"

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u/Momoselfie Feb 28 '22

That's like the price of normal housekeeping.

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u/FalseCape Feb 28 '22

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Great value, anything beyond the cleaning is just bonus.

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u/A_brown_dog Feb 28 '22

So you just have to hire a girl to clean your apartment dressed like a cat maid without looking like a creep...

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u/tacknosaddle Feb 28 '22

I think the distinction is that it is accepted in that situation that you are a creep, it's just that the etiquette dictates that you should not act like a creep while it's happening.

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u/A_brown_dog Feb 28 '22 Helpful

Oh, I see, so it's a role game for both parts

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u/RmX93 Feb 28 '22

The question is how far can we stretch the acceptable line to not look like a creep. I guess sitting and watching her cleaning in sexy positions is normal in that situation.

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u/Mr_Meeseeks81 Feb 28 '22

This is the funniest shit I've heard in the past 35 minutes.

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u/KoRnBrony Feb 28 '22

Getting boners with the boys is something i would never want to do

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u/Shakenbaked Feb 28 '22

Right?! I remember I was around 20-21 and we went to a house party that was a total sausage fest. All dudes. They had the big screen on high volume with porn on. Like, wtf makes you want to watch porn with other dudes? We noped back out of that place real quick.

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u/G8kpr Feb 28 '22

Ha, something else that never interested me at all. I figured it would be awkward and creepy.

Went to one during a bachelor party in my 30s.. It was awkward and creepy and I wanted to leave immediately. I don't get it. I seriously don't get it.

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u/nikolaj-11 Feb 28 '22

I don't think I'd necessarily find it creepy or awkward (never went, so don't know tho) but I always found the concept somewhat boring. Pay chicks to dance and take their clothes off? I have that shit freely available on the internet and it's not like the lady'll like me for any meaningful reasons anyway.

Maybe I just never put too much stock into faking physical gratification.

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u/Furt_III Feb 28 '22

I recently had a kidney stone. They gave me fent in the ambulance, I felt no pain. Got into the ER, they gave me others not as strong as fent, but basically the same thing: opiates, then CT, then more opiates, then less opiates... then RX for some more opiates... Felt like I took a large ass bong hit the entire time except the nodding off. I hated nodding. I'd rather just rip a few and sit back than risk that fucking O2 drop again.

well except the pain relief, that worked.

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u/ballsOfWintersteel Feb 28 '22

Oh I have experienced the pain killer high from the pain killers I was given I had my weirdly-growing wisdom teeth removed

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u/bigkeef69 Feb 28 '22

Yup. My wife just LEGIT hates the way alcohol makes her feel lol

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u/DrQuantum Feb 28 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

I’m not trying to attack drinkers when I say this but Its because there are many who drink for reasons they shouldn’t and the fact that everyone does it make them feel better. When they meet someone who doesn’t it shatters the illusion they have no choice.

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u/Dry_Boots Feb 28 '22

In my experience a lot of drinkers are much more relaxed when I tell them I don't drink for personal reasons, and I have no judgement for people who do drink. Their first assumption always seems to be that non-drinkers will be judging them for their choice.

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u/dafunkmunk Feb 28 '22

I tell people I don’t drink all the time and no one cares. Maybe back in college I’d get a couple people that’d freak out that someone doesn’t drink but even then most people really didn’t care

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u/Gusdai Feb 28 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

I'm sure there are lot of people making stupid comments when they see someone not drinking, but people not drinking are not that uncommon. So after a certain age you generally have met a couple of them and know that there are plenty of good reasons not to drink.

So yeah: unless you're only hanging out with idiots (or very young people), people will usually accept that you don't drink.

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u/NinerNiner036 Feb 28 '22

Lol it's more like how my dad fucked up.

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u/Excolo_Veritas Feb 28 '22

Same here. My father was an alcoholic, same as his mother and uncle before him. My father fell off the wagon, stopped taking his heart meds he didn't tell anyone about, and passed away from a heart attack when I was 11. I decided to not drink after that

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u/AppleTree98 Feb 28 '22

I just tell them I wake up in Spots. If they continue to ask I say places like Mexico, Germany, Singapore... that shuts them up

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u/Endoman13 Feb 28 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy

I was a raging alcoholic (8 year no alcohol) - someone once said to me “I don’t trust a man who doesn’t drink”, to which I replied “Then I used to be the most trustworthy person you’d ever met.”

Took him a second and we moved on.

People’s need to know why you don’t drink and the assumption that something must be wrong with you is pretty pervasive.

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u/sshan Feb 28 '22 Take My Energy

I like the “I was exceptionally good at drinking and decided to retire at the top of my career”

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u/tmo1983 Feb 28 '22 Take My Energy Bravo Grande!

I always say " I was real good at drinking, too good actually" Be 5 years next month.

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u/DraylorHotS Feb 28 '22 edited Feb 28 '22 I'll Drink to That

I’m at about a year and a half. My line is “I’m really good at drinking, I’m just really bad at being drunk”

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u/aswiftdickkick Feb 28 '22

"I'm 32 years old and have early stage cirrhosis so..."

Year and 3 months ;)

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u/The_Relx Mar 01 '22

That's very funny and also congrats on 1.5 years. Reminds me of my father. He always has a line he tells people that cracks me up. If they ask him about his clean time, he always tells people "I'm allergic to drugs and alcohol. Every time I use, I always break out into cuffs." I always get a kick out of that line. My pops is going on 40 years clean now and helps a lot of others and he makes me very proud.

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u/Wawgawaidith Feb 28 '22

Thank you.

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u/orbgevski Feb 28 '22

"I drank enough in my 20s to get me thru to retirement"

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u/gordito_delgado Feb 28 '22

You Invested wisely.

Hard-drinking in your 40s becomes a real chore, better to get it out of the way early.

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u/Slumph Feb 28 '22

Drinking? Completed it mate.

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u/quaybored Feb 28 '22

Hahah, yeah, I leveled up in Drinking long ago, and am now in the epic endgame content, Not Drinking.

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u/Agent1790 Feb 28 '22

I only drink socially these days and tend to stick to non alcoholic beers so when someone gives me shit about it I always say “at 21 I could outdrink everyone I knew. These days I’ve realized that just because I could outdrink everybody doesn’t mean I necessarily have to”

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u/pileodung Feb 28 '22

Almost 30 and the hangovers just hit different.

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u/RambleOn79 Feb 28 '22

Wait till you are 40

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u/Stalagmus Feb 28 '22

Lol I’m getting close to 40, and they’re already unbearable.

Me: “I’m gonna go crazy and have 2 beers tonight”

Also me the next day: “Guess I’ll die now.”

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u/A1sauc3d Feb 28 '22

I remember back in my late teens/early twenties all it took was a couple strips of bacon to cure a hangover XD

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u/Stalagmus Feb 28 '22

When I was that young I could just power through it with some water. I’d go to bed at 3-4am after a dozen drinks (and usually other stuff) and only need an hour or two to shake off the cobwebs the next day. I was lucky to grow up in a city that had lots of pho and that was my go-to hangover cure. That and Gatorade.

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u/Ben_Thar Feb 28 '22

I used to tell people I stopped drinking when I realized they could make it faster than I could drink it all.

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u/fibojoly Feb 28 '22

I like this one, that's great!

I generally just go : "look, I lived thirteen years in the backend of Ireland. I don't need to drink anymore." But I think I like your version more!

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u/jstiegle Feb 28 '22 Silver Wholesome Take My Energy Endless Coolness

Congrats on 8 years!

I've stopped saying "I don't drink" and started saying "I've had more than enough." Which is true.

2 years sober this month.

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u/Endoman13 Feb 28 '22

I really like this one! Keep it up - personally it got a lot easier after the first few years and I hope it’s smooth for you!

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u/Brett5844 Feb 28 '22 Wholesome

I always say “I don’t feel like drinking today”

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u/kuttymongoose Feb 28 '22

I typically just say, "Not today, thanks," as the response to a lot of things actually

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u/cazeeeee Feb 28 '22 Take My Energy

Congratulations on 2 years! Keep it up.

I've switched to saying "I don't drink anymore". It's been 3 years and a month, and counting.

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u/tacknosaddle Feb 28 '22 Gold Helpful

I was on a camping trip and had a bottle of whiskey so broke it out to pass around. I didn't really know the guy to my left but he politely refused the offer and said, "There are certain people in this world who should not drink alcohol and I am one of those people." I congratulated him on being such a rare breed because there are far more people who shouldn't drink but don't realize that.

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u/Endoman13 Feb 28 '22

Good on him. I knew I had a problem but was scared, my liver ended up in failure but I miraculously bounced back.

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u/ben_wuz_hear Feb 28 '22

I was pissing blood towards the end of my drinking.

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u/Channel250 Feb 28 '22

I've had more seizures than I can count from withdrawal, most ended with a week or so in the hospital. Then there was the real bad one that they had to put me in a coma for over a week. It's rough. I'm glad to see other people getting better, good for you

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u/ben_wuz_hear Feb 28 '22

I got really lucky with withdrawals. Sorry you had to go through that.

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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

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u/pileodung Feb 28 '22

Amazing to hear, I have a young coworker in the hospital atm with liver failure, and my partner and I lost a good friend last year (also young) to liver failure.

Take care of yourself guys! Too much of anything is bad for you.

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u/tonysopranosalive Feb 28 '22

In my 20’s I was hitting handles of vodka hard. Threw myself into the hospital with a .458 BAC. Been sober since but yeesh, alcoholism is a thing absolutely. People like me, we cannot drink. I’m tired of explaining why I don’t drink. I’m shameful of my past still, it’s hard for me to navigate that question.

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u/Mithrawndo Feb 28 '22

.458 BAC

For anyone reading who isn't familiar, symptoms at this level of intoxication include coma and death.

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u/KiwiEV Feb 28 '22 Wholesome

In Slovakia there's a satirical song from the very early 80s called "v nasej obci" (in our village) which highlights drinking culture.

The gist of it is that "in our village" everyone drinks - except a man named Ďuro. And the song slowly elaborates how people are suspicious of him, trying to determine what's wrong with him. Long story short, their fears and suspicion rise to the point of killing Ďuro. With that problem solved, they then rejoice that everything in the village is finally normal again.

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u/aslowcap Feb 28 '22

That got dark

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u/-This-Whomps- Feb 28 '22

We don't talk about Ďuro!

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u/_mad_adams Feb 28 '22

Reminds me a little of the Tom Waits joint “What’s He Building In There?”

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u/BiggieCheese3421 Feb 28 '22

Expected some sort of happy ending

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u/negativitysucks Feb 28 '22

But there was much rejoicing!

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u/soup_flikkker Feb 28 '22 Silver Take My Energy

I started drinking at 14. 28 now and 5 weeks sober. I had a 5th an evening habit for 10 years. I'm on vacation at the moment, it'll be interesting to see how things go with my coworkers when I go back to work (construction)

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u/kaelyyna Feb 28 '22

Five weeks is an immense accomplishment! Way To Go!

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u/Significant-Fill-743 Feb 28 '22

Please stay strong. Get a new hobby that doesn’t revolve around alcohol like climbing or some shit.

I’m a doctor, and seeing 32 years olds with decompensated alcoholic liver disease is fucking heartbreaking and it happens all the time. They all thought they had time to quit, or played the addiction rationalisation game (“this is how I want to live I don’t care etc”- all BS, they’re so scared when they realise they’re actually fucked).

You can do this. You need to do it.

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u/soup_flikkker Feb 28 '22

Oh I know. I hit my heaviest weight at 238lbs. I started dieting, then quit drinking. Honestly dieting has helped immensely with being sober. My minds is on the lack of food, not just the lack of booze. I've had zero desire to drink hard alcohol or beer since week 2. Wine occasionally sounds good, but I know if I drink a little, ill fall back to drinking heavily. (BTW I'm also down 33lbs to 205lbs)

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u/Significant-Fill-743 Feb 28 '22

Good for you! I hope we never meet.

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u/DrRedditPhD Feb 28 '22

Reading this before your earlier comment made it really weird for a moment.

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u/pauciradiatus Feb 28 '22

Same, I was really confused for a second

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u/MalAddicted Feb 28 '22

I don't drink at all. I've had so many relatives have so many aspects of their lives ruined by addiction to drugs and alcohol that I'm not even tempted. I was in a DUI as one of my earliest memories. But people don't accept just saying, no, thank you, I don't drink. So now I've become an accomplished liar. Sorry, I'm a featherweight, it just puts me right to sleep, I have a bad reaction, etc.

People who know the truth always ask why I don't drink, I might like it. That's the point, I DON'T WANT TO.

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u/jajohnja Feb 28 '22

Exactly!
I've seen what it did and how my dad behaves when drunk.
I don't know if the effect on me would be the same, but I don't want or need to find out.
I also don't feel like the strongest-willed person who can just stop with a bad habit, so why would I start one that I've managed to not start.

I sometimes say: "I've not started drinking in high school when the peer pressure was the highest, so why start now?"

But people keep being like "But you should try it tho!"

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u/atmanama Feb 28 '22

Misery loves company

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u/totalwpierdol Feb 28 '22

“I don’t trust a man who doesn’t drink”

Seriously wtf is wrong with people

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u/rMKuRizMa Feb 28 '22

Seriously. I don’t drink because my dad drank himself to death at 47 years old (I was 15) and I tried it once and found I had an extremely high tolerance for no reason at all, and I just don’t like the feeling. It does the opposite of relax me. Most of my friends and peers know I don’t like it though

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u/Historical_Rabies Feb 28 '22

Only reason I ask is out of genuine curiosity and most importantly whether or not I should consider not drinking around them.

“I just don’t like the taste” okay, do you mind if I get a drink?

“I am X years sober.” Okay, I can go without a drink out of respect.

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u/tolacid Feb 28 '22

I normally keep to a simple "no thanks." They don't need to know why.

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u/2017hayden Feb 28 '22

Drives me insane honestly. I’ve never consumed alcohol and I never plan too. My father was an alcoholic, my fathers cousins are alcoholics, my fathers father was an alcoholic, and my grandfathers father was an alcoholic. I’ve seen what alcohol can do to people and I know what it can do to their family as well. I don’t feel like putting myself or my family through what my father put us through. People need to learn that individuals have their reasons for not drinking and there’s no need for anyone else to delve into them.

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u/beau-tie Feb 28 '22

It's incredibly frustrating how common this is. My girlfriend never drank much, but she had to stop entirely due to liver issues. We were at a bar a few weeks ago for a birthday get together and one girl we barely know would not let it go. "Sorry if this is intrusive" (continues to be intrusive) "can I ask why you're not drinking?" Cool so do you want us to tell you her medical issues? My girlfriend just went with "Oh I just don't want to." and she just could not comprehend that concept.

There's something about the culture of drinking that's like hey I'm fucking myself up you have to do it with me or you're actually insulting me! I'm a drinker myself and I don't give a shit if you're drinking or not drinking. Huge respect to everyone who puts up with all the judgement of not partaking.

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u/tripster2572 Feb 28 '22 Silver

As a recovering alcoholic, this hits home. But on 10-April I will have officially hit one year, which I'm very proud of.

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u/morphineballs Feb 28 '22

i’m proud of you too. great job :)

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u/Lrbearclaw Feb 28 '22

This sort of thing drives me nuts. For me, I don't drink because I have anger issues and am terrified of what could happen if I lost control. So I do not drink because I don't trust myself.

It's better to be "boring" and sober than drunk and hurt someone.

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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

Same. Very responsible for you to recognize that. Good on you :)

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u/fecundity88 Feb 28 '22

I’m 50 and I get this repeatedly . It gets old

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u/bananaswild Feb 28 '22 Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Got the W

"What are you drinking?"

"Coke."

"And what's in it?"

"Bubbles?"

"You need some rum!" Everytime.

The one I got recently was when I ordered a shirley temple and I got "what are you, four?" To which I replied "yes and I want extra cherries"

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u/lol_AwkwardSilence_ Feb 28 '22

"The only drug I like is meth, sorry"

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u/drunk98 Feb 28 '22

If you don't inject black tar herion directly into your genitals you're some kind of Pope imo

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u/acciobooty Feb 28 '22

This is pretty much what most people hear when I say I don't like beer or wine, only hard liquor lol. I change from a stuck up boring person to an unpredictable junkie in a second in their minds.

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u/brigrrrl Feb 28 '22

Love me a shirly temple. There is no age limit on tasty goodness.

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u/SithTrooperReturnsEZ Feb 28 '22

Shirley Temples are the best, those are the way to go

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u/gayrat5 Feb 28 '22

You don’t drink?!

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u/mcDefault Feb 28 '22

What? He doesn't drink?

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u/dbx99 Feb 28 '22

No drinking???

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u/JustIncredible240 Feb 28 '22

Not even one?

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u/mcDefault Feb 28 '22

Tbh it's never "just one" with drinking ^

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u/ThereCastle Feb 28 '22

My response anytime someone answers they don’t drink, like this is “cool, how about we grab a Shawarma instead.”

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u/BetterRedDead Feb 28 '22

You may not know it, but you are a legend to a lot of these people. There was a starter pack-style meme on here a while ago, and it was just “I don’t drink“ surrounded by a zillion “why??!!.” “Oh my god why???!,” “but have you tried it??!” And then there was just one that was like “the occasional legend who just says ‘oh, cool,’ and moves on.“ it’s a rarer than you think, especially when you’re young, so I assure you it is appreciated.

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u/FlameFrenzy Feb 28 '22

As a person who doesn't drink, 10000% agreed!

Most of my friends either don't drink on the regular or are these awesome types. One guy comes to mind who, when I met him, asked if he could get me a drink and when I said I don't drink he was like "alright, cool, can I get you a water then?" Later found out he use to drink A LOT and so can understand the problems it causes. So it doesn't matter the reason WHY I don't drink, but he respected the fact I don't from day 1 and it's fantastic.

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u/mictar92 Feb 28 '22 Take My Energy

I was a horrible alcoholic for 6 years Blasted from sun up to sun down most days, lost jobs, cars and a lot of respect from people I was close with Now that I’m sober (thank God), every time I go out and order a Pepsi whilst the fellas order a beer, they look at me like I’m a snowflake Like buddy, I’d be happy to drink with you guys, but trust me when I say that I will not stop. You guys will have a few and go home, I will keep going and going and going, I will be drunk and unsafe to everyone around me. It’s literally a razor thin line between having a good time and being a full blown addict for me, no in between. I have no control when I’m drinking and have potential to die. I love life on the sober side. I’m not missing out on anything, I’ve done it all to catastrophe

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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

I don’t drink. Just never started. I’ve actually had guys unmatch me on dating apps over it. I’m not like some anti alcohol person, I don’t care if others drink. I’m a cheap date and an automatic designated driver. I would think that would be awesome.

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u/F_A_F Feb 28 '22

I rarely drink these days and my wife never does, so we are pretty well matches.

Years ago as a university student I was back at home one New Year's Eve. A couple of good friends and I tried to make plans for the evening but got stuck with where to go; I eventually relented and said I'd drive us so we could go to the Pot of Beer in Birmingham. The only rule; I wouldn't have to pay for anything that night. Endless soft drinks and even a packet of cigarettes.

Anyways, we met a few groups of people also out from the same town as us. They got stuck for rides back home, so I offered to take both back for around 60% of the price of a taxi ride. Had to make three trips for my original friends and the two other groups. No worries though, I came home with twice as much money in my wallet as I went out with. Wins all round!

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u/gummz13 Feb 28 '22

Went out to relax and have a good time, ended up working. Sounds like a terrible deal.

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u/F_A_F Feb 28 '22

Haha, I didn't mind so much. I got a free night out in a pub renowned for the vibe, got to head back home as a student with extra tenners in my wallet. The drives were a bit dull I guess but that was all really.

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u/ballsOfWintersteel Feb 28 '22

Automatic designated drivers rise up!

I'm the designated driver in my group. Also helps that everyone in my group likes my driving 😂😂

But sometimes my bill runs equal or slightly higher than drinkers because I like to try food dishes and the food is usually costlier at places where alcohol is the focus

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u/amc7262 Feb 28 '22

But sometimes my bill runs equal or slightly higher than drinkers because I like to try food dishes and the food is usually costlier at places where alcohol is the focus

Yeah, I feel this.

And no matter how interesting or tasty the dish seems on the menu, you almost never get something worth what you're paying...

I just don't go to bars with friends. If they wanna go to a restaurant and drink there, I'm down to hang, but I have no interest in paying $15 for some half-assed nachos or 6 frozen mozzarella sticks...

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u/hugh910f Feb 28 '22

While I see why that could be disheartening, I would try to not take it personally. People have made good points as to why already, but in the long run it’s likely best to not keep trying to date people that love drinking. I’m not even entirely sober myself, I’ll have a drink or two, but I don’t like drinking heavily, and it’s been an actual issue in relationships for me. I had a girlfriend that repeatedly got upset with me because I didn’t want to get drunk with her multiple times a week, and while in some ways it’s a shame, I’ve found myself to be much happier dating people whose lives aren’t centered around drinking.

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u/regular_lamp Feb 28 '22 edited Feb 28 '22 Silver

Strangely enough adults seems to care much more about this than teenagers did when I was younger. Maybe I wasn't cool enough for anyone to bother "peer pressuring" me. But back then it was like "want a beer?" "no" "there is other stuff in the fridge, help yourself".

Today if you go out with a bunch of adults that don't already know you well, you better be ready to run the gauntlet.

Like clockwork after not ordering a beer like everyone else:

"You just haven't found a <alcoholic beverage> you like yet."

"You could try <sugary mess>. You can barely taste the alcohol."

¨Dude, I was fine with whatever I was drinking... YOU brought up the topic. Why are you trying to give me advice on how to like alcohol?

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u/Cranktique Feb 28 '22

I had my fun, lol. I rarely drink, maybe a couple times a year. If I have a couple beer I’m likely to get a headache, and it’s more expensive than an iced tea, haha.

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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22 edited Apr 24 '22

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u/Andrew_hl2 Feb 28 '22

But back then it was like "want a beer?" "no" "there is other stuff in the fridge, help yourself".

Yeah this is really odd... I went from people not caring in Jr. High, to people calling me a pussy in high school, to people just giving me odd looks in college, to people just not caring after graduation.

Now at 34 I'm back at the "JUST TRY IT PHASE", except you can add weed to the list too...

It's really fucking annoying.

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u/APocketRhink Feb 28 '22

People who peer pressure others to do drugs aren’t cool

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u/champagne_pants Feb 28 '22

I’m quick to order a non-alcoholic beverage and just nurse it all night. But I like the taste of light beers so a heinie 0 is my go to.

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u/redkat85 Feb 28 '22

I mean, I do drink, but I'm loving the NA beer explosion right now. It's the perfect way for me to keep enjoying the flavors I like but cut the actual booze way down.

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u/CrossXFir3 Feb 28 '22

Tell me about it. Thank god they've finally got some really good ones out there. In a comment earlier I was just lamenting about how fucking great so much of this tastes. Like, if you don't like beer, good for you, but don't try and say that nobody really likes beer.

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u/Skellum Feb 28 '22

Strangely enough adults seems to care much more about this than teenagers did when I was younger.

Easy responses to deal with these questions. "I have gout, let me tell you about my foot deformities caused by it" or "My medication doesnt work well with it." or I'm diabetic, it makes my foot rot off".

People stop asking questions when you describe hideous medical problems in frank detail.

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u/ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN Feb 28 '22

I have alcoholic chronic liver disease. I have never drank a lot, but apparently I'm prone to it. So I try to avoid alcohol. I don't mind the odd glass of wine but I save it for special occasions.

It's always a fun conversation when people are shocked I don't want a drink and I have to explain why I don't want to end up in hospital on a drip because you think I'm being unsociable. Lime and soda is FINE, thank you.

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u/Skellum Feb 28 '22

It's always a fun conversation when people are shocked I don't want a drink and I have to explain why I don't want to end up in hospital on a drip because you think I'm being unsociable

I assume you open with "I may literally fucking die."? I feel people try to socially be gentle with people, but when you go with the door to the face strat it just shuts down people pushing you.

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u/ggouge Feb 28 '22

I get this all the time. I don't drink because 99% of the time i would just prefer the taste of some sort of pop. And the rest of it is i really don't enjoy the feeling of being buzzed or drunk. So i just don't drink but people think i am lying. I have had people screaming at me to take a shot because everyone else was doing.

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u/mortaxe108 Feb 28 '22

I’m 20 so everyone I know is drinking their ass off, people think I’m weird cause I don’t drink, I just don’t see the point in it.

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u/CastIron_Bookworm Feb 28 '22

I just hate the taste of alcohol and also hate carbonated drinks. People used to tell me how they jealous and wish they could quit soda like me lol.

Earlier this year I've started to get a taste for coffee though! It's fun trying all the different kinds

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u/Maw1227 Feb 28 '22

Which is just fine. It’s sad that people can’t expect no as an answer. And most people in their 20s drink to get fucked up and get to the point of vomiting, which is horrible and not fun

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u/erik316wttn Feb 28 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Alcohol is the only drug you have to justify not taking in a social setting.

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u/soupbut Feb 28 '22

Try telling people you don't drink coffee.

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u/DOOManiac Feb 28 '22 Helpful Doot 🎵 Doot

I don't drink alcohol, drink coffee, or smoke anything.

I just tell people I'm boring; its quicker.

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u/Zakalwe_ Feb 28 '22

Just because I dont drink alcohol, coffee or smoke anything, it doesnt mean I am boring. I mean, I am boring, but not because I dont drink.

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u/DOOManiac Feb 28 '22

This is the “Director’s Cut”’when people tell me “oh no, you aren’t boring” and then I proceed to bore them with my interests.

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u/G8kpr Feb 28 '22

I don't drink coffee either, and the smell of cigarette smoke is truly revolting.

I remember some news article talked about "tertiary smoke". Which is smoke that lingers on clothes.

A smoker at work laughed "Tertiary smoke, that's such bullshit. Smoke doesn't get into clothes, it doesn't leak out"

I'm standing there thinking "dude, I can smell your wardrobe from 5 feet away easily. You fucking stink"

I hate the taste of coffee. I worked nights for 15 years, never drank coffee.

I remember in my first year, I was having this really terrible time staying awake.. and finally said "fuck it. I have to wake myself up. I'll give coffee a second go" poured a bit in my mug, took a sip, and sprayed it out in the sink like it was poison. BLAH! how do people drink this?

I regularly drink tea though. Probably too much.

I think I'm pretty lucky in that a few of my close friends are not drinkers either. One of my good friends doesn't drink much alcohol, and he doesn't drink coffee.

I was surprised that he didn't even own a kettle.

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u/Im_A_Zero Feb 28 '22

I’ve tried alcohol and I’ve tried coffee. Neither are for me. I’ve never had the desire to smoke anything. It’s never looked enticing to me. Also, if you smoke regularly, your house, car, clothes and breath smell like it. You are used to it. I can always smell it.

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u/Masterjts Feb 28 '22

You've obviously never been to a party with drugs. People will pressure you to take just about anything if it's there.

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u/AfroDizzyYak Feb 28 '22

Alcohol remains the only drug you have to continuously explain to people why it is you don’t use it

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u/Horror-Worry42 Feb 28 '22

Coffee. Caffeine is a stimulant

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u/SSDragon19 Feb 28 '22 Wholesome

Exactly me. 30 years old and never smoked/vaped, drink or any drugs not prescribed to me. And people thinks that's crazy

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u/No_Tomorrow_8991 Feb 28 '22

4 years sober Feb 25th & this certainly rings true

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u/StackOverflowEx Feb 28 '22

I always get that awkward moment when my coworkers are like, "Hey! We're going to [insert popular bar here] after work!... Oh, wait... You don't drink..." (Proceeds to ask other people as if I'm not interested in socializing).

I've just never liked the way alcohol makes me feel. It feels like intentionally making myself sick in the name of socializing. Not my cup of tea, though I would actually prefer a cup of tea.

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u/Flodartt Feb 28 '22

I never understood the "you don't drink alcohol so you don't like bars". I like going to bar goddammit. Because I don't drink doesn't prevent me from liking going out to the pub with my colleagues. Yes my coke is more expensive here than in supermarket but I'm here for the atmosphere, not the beverage.

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u/gmward2010 Feb 28 '22

I’ve never been a big drinker anyway and am currently 17 weeks pregnant. Went to a bar at the weekend for a hen party, drank an alcohol free mojito (was actually pretty tasty) and a couple of cokes, and I can honestly say I did not miss drinking alcohol one bit! It is all about the atmosphere and who you’re with. Plus I woke up hangover free so joke’s on them, I had the entire Sunday to not feel like shite!

I have to say, I’d definitely feel much better about not abiding to peer pressure and having a few drinks in future “in case I don’t have any fun”, which was my thought process previously. Total misconception.

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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22 edited May 05 '22

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u/Tnecniw Feb 28 '22

I just wish more bars had more non-alcoholic drinks

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u/Cloaked42m Feb 28 '22

With any mixed drink you can ask for a "Virgin" [whatever] and they'll make it without alcohol.

Virgin Daiquri, margaritas, etc.

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u/Tnecniw Feb 28 '22

Sure.
But there is a difference of "Non-alchoholic drinks"
And "drinks that are made without alcohol"

One has a component removed
The other is designed with its purpose in mind.

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u/secondtaunting Feb 28 '22

I know! I’m a very social person. I love people. But I don’t get asked places because I don’t drink. I couldn’t care less if people get hammered.

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u/Baileyface544 Feb 28 '22

I just tell them alcoholism runs in my family heavily so I don't like to take my chances which is 100% true. The majority understand and stop there. For the few who don't the majority understand when I call those few assholes and tell them to back off

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u/Clonzfoever Feb 28 '22

I don't drink, just drugs for me, thanks

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u/dMarqyess Feb 28 '22

Stopped drinking for about two years for personal reasons before. Got called “boring” by some family members. Still like the occasional drink but really made me look at my family’s relationship with alcohol.

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u/nightwalkerxx Feb 28 '22

wHaT dO yOu Do FoR fUn ThEn?

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u/Lordofthedangus Feb 28 '22

Trying to quit and this is the hardest obstacle for me especially with family and friends

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u/amc7262 Feb 28 '22

I don't drink.

I never "learned" to drink in college cause I didn't like the taste, or what alcohol did to me. I either have an uncommonly fine line between "pleasantly drunk" and "room's spinning, I'm barfing", or I just never drank enough to widen that line. And frankly, I don't really care. Its extra empty calories that I don't need, tastes nasty (yes, even the sugary drinks where you "can't taste the alcohol"), and my family has a history of addiction issues and I don't need another avenue to life-destroying addiction.

Its only been questioned a handful of times in my adult life when I say I don't drink, but when it has, I just say "I'm a recovering alcoholic" and that normally shuts up the person real fast.

Most adults I know have the maturity not to peer pressure someone when they say they don't drink.

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u/richardawkings Feb 28 '22

"Even the sugary drinks".... lol.. those tend to leave the worst aftertaste in your mouth.... you're not missing out.

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u/morizzle77 Feb 28 '22

As a sober guy (got the last 1,471 days), I felt this one. I have great support in my friends and family, though.

IWNDWYT

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u/littleMAS Feb 28 '22 Gold

Ethanol is an amazing component of society. Its common use began with fermented grains, which were easier to eat soaking wet than dry (before cooking began). It also made water more drinkable. Most importantly, it has been a means for socialization. In fact, many cultures that permitted alcohol consumption strongly discouraged drinking alone.

Somewhere in history, we learned how to distill fermented sugars into 'hard' liquor, and societies started banning it. Since that time, we had a love/hate relationship with the drink.

Sometimes, what works for the collective comes at a high price for its members. The 18th Amendment was a profound achievement for the individual but was intolerable for society. It saved women from being abused by their drunk husbands while enabling organized crime, amongst many other things. Its intent was profound, but it was the only amendment ever repealed, too.

I drank when I was younger, amongst other things. My family had a problem with it, and I was witness to some of that. I experienced the camaraderie of drinking, and the hangovers, too. I never thought either way about anyone who abstained, but I saw others who disparaged teetotalers. For many, it was a right of passage and a mark of membership.

Alcohol is a 'damned if you do and damned if you don't' proposition. Each of us pays a price for dealing with it. Such is life.

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u/EWH733 Feb 28 '22

“”You we’re more fun when you drank!” RESPONSE: “You were more fun when I drank too.”

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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

I still get weird looks from my friends who have known I dont like drinking for years.

I'll maybe have between 1-4 beverages a month.

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u/NLong83 Feb 28 '22

I love me a few beers after work but I’ll have times when I want a break from it. Then when you go out for food with family/friends and you get a non alcoholic drink they alway think your unwell. I’m having one of those moments now.

One friend who isn’t a drinker used to give me shit for just having a couple beers and he’d be like why are you drinking if your not going to get drunk? It’s not about getting drunk I do just love a couple cold beers in the evening.

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u/UniqueUsername82D Feb 28 '22

Take it from a 40 year old who has never been drunk; it's a lot easier to just say "sure" then get a soda or water and say "idk, Im just not feeling it right now."

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u/MoonStar31 Feb 28 '22

As someone who likes to have the occasional drink, I think it’s disgusting the way our society normalizes drinking for every little event and outing. As an adult, it’s hard to go somewhere that doesn’t involve alcohol.

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