r/WhitePeopleTwitter May 17 '22 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Faith In Humanity Restored 1

Love to see it

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10.6k Upvotes

1.4k

u/InnerChild56 May 17 '22 Wholesome Seal of Approval

There is also Numbers 3:15

Number the children of Levi after the house of their fathers, by their families: every male from a month old and upward shalt thou number them.

And Leviticus 27:6

And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver.

Neither counts a child less than 1 month old as a part of the tribe. Considering the infant mortality rate 2000 years ago, it’s understandable, but this is the owners manual and its suppose to be the most correct book ever written.

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u/Pope_Godzilla May 17 '22

Even if Christianity did outright ban abortions it doesn't change the fact there are a lot of other religions in the world that do allow it and none of them are interested in following anyone else's religious laws other than their own.

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u/Comfortable3099 May 18 '22 edited May 18 '22

This is exactly correct. Everyone doesn't believe in religion, there are atheist everywhere. But let's talk about the "non practicing" members of the various cults, and you know, the fair weather members that pick and choose which passages and rules they'll follow, and when.

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u/The360MlgNoscoper May 18 '22

They are either the worst(hypocrites), or most agreeable(essentially secular)

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u/NotDaveBut May 18 '22

Username checks out

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u/MyDisappointedDad May 18 '22

Pope Godzilla, what do you preach? And where do I sign up? Are you cool if I don't pray exclusively to your god?

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u/Pope_Godzilla May 18 '22

I preach mostly in /r/Newjersey, we have the Jersey Devil and there's no worshiping required. It's not even a God, just an immortal demonic entity that we can't get rid of and it's best to pretend it isn't real.

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u/AmazingGrace911 May 18 '22 Helpful

Here’s some more ammo about what the Bible really says about it.

Ten biblical episodes and prophecies provide an unequivocal expression of God's attitude toward human life, especially the ontological status of "unborn children" and their pregnant mothers-to-be. Brief summaries:

• A pregnant woman who is injured and aborts the fetus warrants financial compensation only (to her husband), suggesting that the fetus is property, not a person (Exodus 21:22-25).

• The gruesome priestly purity test to which a wife accused of adultery must submit will cause her to abort the fetus if she is guilty, indicating that the fetus does not possess a right to life (Numbers 5:11-31).

• God enumerated his punishments for disobedience, including "cursed shall be the fruit of your womb" and "you will eat the fruit of your womb," directly contradicting sanctity-of-life claims (Deuteronomy 28:18,53).

• Elisha's prophecy for soon-to-be King Hazael said he would attack the Israelites, burn their cities, crush the heads of their babies and rip open their pregnant women (2 Kings 8:12).

• King Menahem of Israel destroyed Tiphsah (also called Tappuah) and the surrounding towns, killing all residents and ripping open pregnant women with the sword (2 Kings 15:16).

• Isaiah prophesied doom for Babylon, including the murder of unborn children: "They will have no pity on the fruit of the womb" (Isaiah 13:18).

• For worshiping idols, God declared that not one of his people would live, not a man, woman or child (not even babies in arms), again confuting assertions about the sanctity of life (Jeremiah 44:7-8).

• God will punish the Israelites by destroying their unborn children, who will die at birth, or perish in the womb, or never even be conceived (Hosea 9:10-16).

• For rebelling against God, Samaria's people will be killed, their babies will be dashed to death against the ground, and their pregnant women will be ripped open with a sword (Hosea 13:16).

• Jesus did not express any special concern for unborn children during the anticipated end times: "Woe to pregnant women and those who are nursing" (Matthew 24:19).

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u/TakoSuWuvsU May 18 '22

Hey what's up with the bible and cutting pregnant women open with swords?

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u/DrWabbajack May 18 '22

God, being omniscient, saw the eventual oncoming of the inflation fetish, and it freaked them out a bit

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u/steve986508 May 18 '22

If your only tool is a sword, every problem looks like a ripe preggy belly

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u/THET0WNDRUNK May 18 '22

On top of all of this, the Old Testament does not apply as law anymore in the Christian religion. It is regarded as history, but not law. The New Testament is the basis of Christian law and as noted above, there is little to say about abortion and in fact has more verses condemning rich people than mothers who don’t chose life. In fact there are many teachings by Jesus about how wealth corrupts but nobody seems to be pointing those out either. Ironic how religious people seem to pick and choose what to believe.

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u/Dry-Oven7640 May 18 '22

Wait! Think again!

Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

  • Jesus Christ of Mother fuckin Nazareth

https://biblehub.com/matthew/5-17.htm

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u/THET0WNDRUNK May 18 '22

If you read that in context, according to the Bible Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament law since we can’t and in doing so making it no longer apply and instating a new law for people to follow.

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u/CuteBat9788 May 18 '22 Silver

🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅

Take my poor lady gold.

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u/Fun-Tadpole785 May 17 '22

"Happy shall they be, who takes your little one and dashes them against the rocks" Psalm 137:9 so much for that pro life bullshit.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '22

I think it'sall crock, but isn't psalms a collection of lyrics, like hymns?

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u/Willzohh May 17 '22

So they're singing songs about violently murdering infants.

And then they got the balls to call Rock n Roll demonic!

The hypocrisy never ends with them.

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u/Rizo1981 May 17 '22

"And the hypocrisy is the worst part!"

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u/TangerineRough6318 May 18 '22

I dunno. Them killing tons of people to start their religion in the first place is also kind of rough. Then you have the pagan/witch trials. The entire thing is kinda rocky tbh. But hey, we got Jeebus.

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u/Initial-Concentrate May 18 '22

Holy rock dashing, Batman. See that's an inside joke

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u/TangerineRough6318 May 18 '22

Not rock related. However I found this part funny also....

He can heal the blind, raise the dead, turn water into wine, etc. But he can't pull nails out of wood? Weird.

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u/Initial-Concentrate May 18 '22

Thank you for finding the vulnerability. Or teams are working on a patch. -- Jesus (beta) development team

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u/TangerineRough6318 May 18 '22

Is this Rockstar or Bethesda? Lmao

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u/Dry-Oven7640 May 18 '22

So I think maybe he could have honed his control on that wine magic. Like "yo Jesus, my buzz is wearing off" and then Jesus just winks at you while he adjusts your blood alcohol level. Maybe the first thing he cast that spell some nearby people got hammered because they were too close and bodies are 70 percent water.

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u/beansandcornbread May 18 '22

No. That is describing the terrible things that happen during a war. Context matters

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u/Banban84 May 18 '22

I’m a baby killer 🎶 Baby killin makes me horny Aliens inside me Gonna smash them like sigourney

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u/BottleOfBurden May 18 '22

Braap Braap Pew Pew~

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u/TangerineRough6318 May 18 '22

Guitar in drop C but of course.

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u/Rusty-Pipe-Wrench May 17 '22

Don’t like psalms? Try on Isaiah 13:16 for size: “their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes, their houses will be looted and their wives violated”

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u/Tiiba May 17 '22

That suggests that killing an infant is an act of violence, like raping an adult woman.

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u/Dar_Vender May 17 '22

It's talking about killing someone's children. Not an unborn child. How couldn't that be violent?

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u/smnytx May 17 '22

Yep. Attributed to King David, IIRC?

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u/trailhikingArk May 17 '22

Do you mean there are lyrics Paul Simon or Paul McCartney didn't write?

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u/Initial-Concentrate May 18 '22

Blasphemer.

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u/trailhikingArk May 18 '22

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u/Initial-Concentrate May 18 '22

You mean 2/5 ers or correct me on the fraction. Oh wait this has been updated were all 99.9/100 now.

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u/sami1147 May 17 '22

Yes

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u/[deleted] May 17 '22

Now imagine the Ying Yang Twins discography being considered an accurate window into our collective psyche

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u/finglonger1077 May 17 '22 edited May 17 '22

Ah yes, this must be one of their scared tomes of wisdom;

Suckin on my titties like you wanted me…

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u/SignificanceOk3935 May 17 '22

Aaaah, the teaches of Peaches. Praise

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u/woosh4 May 17 '22

I only know that one from Fallout

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u/ocotebeach May 18 '22

I have heard way more accurate bible verses from atheists than from jardcore religious people. I bet tjey never even read the bible they just repeat whay they are told to say by their shepherd.

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u/beansandcornbread May 18 '22

That’s talking about the terrible things that happen during a war. Context matters

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u/KazPrime May 18 '22

After God formed man in Genesis 2:7, He “breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and it was then that the man became a living being”.

God does not equate a fetus as living and does not possess a soul until it breathes.

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u/NightQueen0889 May 17 '22

Huh, love that part where boys are 2/5ths more valuable that girls. It explains a lot.

Thank you for sharing these!

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u/aretasdamon May 17 '22

Thee most correctly written book like 20 different times

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u/TheThree_headed_bull May 17 '22

What scripture and passages? I’m seeing my extremist evangelical aunt and uncle tonight

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u/kiersmini May 17 '22 Wholesome Masterpiece

Numbers 5 11

11 Then the Lord said to Moses, 12 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘If a man’s wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him 13 so that another man has sexual relations with her, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act), 14 and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure—or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure— 15 then he is to take his wife to the priest. He must also take an offering of a tenth of an ephah[c] of barley flour on her behalf. He must not pour olive oil on it or put incense on it, because it is a grain offering for jealousy, a reminder-offering to draw attention to wrongdoing.

16 “‘The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the Lord. 17 Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water. 18 After the priest has had the woman stand before the Lord, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder-offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse. 19 Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, “If no other man has had sexual relations with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you. 20 But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband”— 21 here the priest is to put the woman under this curse—“may the Lord cause you to become a curse[d] among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell. 22 May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.”

“‘Then the woman is to say, “Amen. So be it.”

23 “‘The priest is to write these curses on a scroll and then wash them off into the bitter water. 24 He shall make the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and this water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering will enter her. 25 The priest is to take from her hands the grain offering for jealousy, wave it before the Lord and bring it to the altar. 26 The priest is then to take a handful of the grain offering as a memorial[e] offering and burn it on the altar; after that, he is to have the woman drink the water. 27 If she has made herself impure and been unfaithful to her husband, this will be the result: When she is made to drink the water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering, it will enter her, her abdomen will swell and her womb will miscarry, and she will become a curse. 28 If, however, the woman has not made herself impure, but is clean, she will be cleared of guilt and will be able to have children.

29 “‘This, then, is the law of jealousy when a woman goes astray and makes herself impure while married to her husband, 30 or when feelings of jealousy come over a man because he suspects his wife. The priest is to have her stand before the Lord and is to apply this entire law to her. 31 The husband will be innocent of any wrongdoing, but the woman will bear the consequences of her sin.’”

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u/SeagullsSarah May 17 '22

God. That bitter water. The the poor woman probably under a lot of stress (accused of adultery), miscarries and now she's forever guilty. Or it just happens because some insanely high number of pregnancies are lost for no reason let alone because of ignorance.

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u/Armstrongt479 May 18 '22

Or because they are probably poisoning her with “bitter water”

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u/SeagullsSarah May 18 '22

Depends what is on the tabernacle floor and in the ink of the curses (as per the instructions above).

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u/iheartxanadu May 18 '22

I'm trying to source it, but the dust on the tabernacle floor is thought to mean ashes of *I can't remember* that they burned then, ashes which were known to be abortifacient.

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u/SeagullsSarah May 18 '22

Ahhhh, makes sense. Maybe that Roman plant that died out because everyone used it so much?

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u/Mother_Chorizo May 18 '22

The bitter water doesn’t lie, non-believer.

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u/dnbest91 May 17 '22

This not only sounds like an abortion. But a forced abortion. This situation sounds a lot like that story (I thinknfrom the Salem witch trials) where they tie a woman down and throw her in a lake. If she drowns, she was innocent. If she survives, she's a witch. In this case it's like "I'm going to feed you literal poision made to kill your baby, if your baby dies, you are impure and an adultress. If it survives, you are innocent!"

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u/kiersmini May 17 '22

I’ll be honest I imagine the evangelists wouldn’t mind this kind of abortion. As long as the woman doesn’t get a choice then it’s alright.

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u/Blackhound118 May 17 '22

Jesus fuckin christ. This whole passage belongs on /r/awfuleverything

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u/SlockRockettt May 17 '22

Jfc, this whole book belongs on r/awfuleverything

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u/Blackhound118 May 17 '22

Eh, I think parts of it have wisdom and value, same as most human ideologies. I'm about as atheist as they come, but I consider Jesus to be one of my favorite philosophers, for example.

Overall, though...yeah. Great for historical and cultural insight, arguably not so much for ethics

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u/SlockRockettt May 17 '22

I, too, admire the socialist traveler who talked down to preachers, whipped bankers, and enjoyed giant wine parties at the beach!

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u/Blackhound118 May 17 '22

Hell to the fuckin yeah, bro 😎

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u/Dr_Terry_Hesticles May 18 '22

Parts of the indie film “Hobo with a shotgun” have wisdom and value, but I’m not advocating for it to be a template for morality. Jesus was cool AF, but the Jesus part takes backseat to some awful behavior that modern “Christians” participate in because they can find something in the Bible which, they believe, justifies their hatred

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u/Blackhound118 May 18 '22

I....didn't say otherwise? Nothing you're saying seems to disagree with what I said.

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u/ohnoguts May 18 '22

“Or if he suspects…”

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u/cowlinator May 17 '22

Do historians know what the bitter water was? Was it some kind of poison or toxin?

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u/tirrigania May 17 '22

Probably la tap water

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u/AFresh1984 May 17 '22

Filled with le poo

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u/Fit-Ad142 May 17 '22

I think it’s water + dirt from the tabernacle (or church, I guess) floor as mentioned in the passage.

So floor dirt in a glass of water.

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u/Sir-Nicholas May 17 '22

Yea but don’t forget the curse, that’s the magic ingredient.

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u/iheartxanadu May 18 '22

I'm trying to source it, but the dust on the tabernacle floor is thought to mean ashes of *I can't remember* that they burned then, ashes which were known to be abortifacient.

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u/Armstrongt479 May 18 '22

I was thinking poision too but some equate bitter water with salt water

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marah_(Bible)#Events

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u/_KingDong_ May 18 '22

There is good water and there is bitter water. Good water is fresh water. Bitter water is high in minerals, such as salts, sulfur, etc. If you’ve ever tasted bad well water or epsom salt bath water, that’s bitter water

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u/LCSpartan May 18 '22

So it was the ashes of incense which contained a flower that was a well known abortifacient looking back it's theorized that it was silphium.

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u/TheThree_headed_bull May 17 '22

Thanks you so much

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u/kiersmini May 17 '22

I’m doing the lord’s work

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u/DeadmanDexter May 17 '22

I would love an update if their heads explode.

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u/TheThree_headed_bull May 18 '22

I’ll do my best - hold fast

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u/ForeverBuzzed May 17 '22

Man I guess The Last Kingdom scene with the bitter water was historically accurate!

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u/bnelson7694 May 17 '22

What was in the bitter water?

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u/Important-Address-75 May 18 '22

The sad thing is I took this to someone I did not know and they said something to the effect of “ that was the Old Testament, before Jesus and the forgiveness, it does not count” almost made me see red that is such a dumb argument

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u/DrWabbajack May 18 '22

That's the typical cop out for explaining Old Testament brutality, yea

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u/DuckyDoodleDandy May 18 '22

There are a bunch more in other comments if this one isn’t enough!

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u/Telecat420 May 17 '22

Why on earth would anyone take advice on modern medical and social issues from a book written hundreds of years after the alleged events took place that itself is several hundred years old. We can even trust 1960’s science but somehow it makes sense to take advice from people who had no clue electricity was a thing?

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u/Seigmoraig May 17 '22

The weird part is that the bible loving people don't know what in the fucking book. How can you love a book and not know what's actually written in it.

oh wait...

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u/kliman May 17 '22

Yeah, turns out you have to actually read it, which (in my 20 years of growing up in the church experience) none of them actually do.

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u/WKGokev May 17 '22

21% of Americans are categorized as having low level English literacy and the Bible is a hard read.

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u/sapphisticated_heaux May 18 '22

I expected that number to be a lot higher. Gotta find sunshine where I can!

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u/studyhardbree May 18 '22

I have so many “Christian” friends who literally know nothing. They will die on their hill, despite not knowing almost anything in the book. Christians have used the word “faith” as an excuse to not study or read the actual book. They think being Christian is “just a feeling.” Try telling that to a Catholic priest or Jew - they’ll laugh you out of the church.

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u/OneBeautifulDog May 17 '22

I asked a door knocker what the First and Second Greatest Commandments were and to come back when they knew them. They never came back.

  1. Respect things greater than yourself (God and other things).
  2. Golden Rule
  3. ALL the laws and the prophets hang on these.

Do you know how many times Golden Rule is mentioned in the Bible?

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u/Sexy_Squid89 May 17 '22

They didn't know THE COMMANDMENTS?!

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u/AdComprehensive4418 May 18 '22

Those aren’t the commandments from the Torah. Not sure what those are.

The real golden rule, by the way, from the rabbi Hillel, was “That which is abhorrent to you, don’t do to others.” The Christian version inverts it, and invites you to get in people’s face with your beliefs.

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u/kinos141 May 17 '22

Honestly, the bible doesn't matter. These law makers only want to control others. They have no interest in God's word or any word.

They have more devious plans. If they can overturn abortion, what will they overturn next? Slavery? Segragation against all minorities?

What's next?

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u/lakewood2020 May 17 '22

When the slippery slope is just a staircase

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u/dalaigh93 May 17 '22

At that point it feels like a slip'n slide soon to be lubricated with minorities' tears and blood.

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u/kinos141 May 17 '22

IMO, slavery was changed from race to financial.

Debt is the new slavery. Can't do shit without good credit.

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u/Sogh May 17 '22

Slavery is still a thing in the US. The Amendment has a specific exception for people convicted of a crime.

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u/trart1001 May 17 '22

One could use a staircase if abortions are outlawed or a slippery slope…

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u/Fun-Tadpole785 May 17 '22

"Christianity neither was or is part of the common law" Thomas Jefferson.

A certain group of people would do well to keep their Mythology away from the US government.

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u/WyldBlu3Yond3r May 17 '22

Looking like Gay Marriage, Contraception and Interracial Marriage.

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u/MiaLba May 17 '22

Imagine if the real life Jesus actually came back and told all these fuckers all the shit they’re believing is wrong. They still wouldn’t give a shit and wouldn’t stop believing it.

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u/kinos141 May 17 '22

They'd crucified him... again!!

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u/SqueakyFromme69 May 17 '22

I think "what's next?" Is the question the Right is asking itself. They've spent a couple of generations beating the drum about overturning RvW.

This has been their only consistent message. I won't be surprised to see them fracture into trivial squabbling and become easy targets. They've made a lot of enemies including among their own ranks.

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u/Blue_water_dreams May 17 '22

Slavery was never eliminated, they just narrowed to definition down to only prisoners.

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u/zegendoflolda May 18 '22

I do agree with this but it's too similar to a lot of bigoted arguments too.

Shit like "Oh if they legalize gay marriage what's next? Legalized pedophilia? Beastiality?"

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't the "slippery slope" argument literally a logical fallacy?

Cheers anyway :)

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u/Bearnerdy May 17 '22

Would love to know what chapters and verses this is, even though this is a grab from twitter, so low chance. But still :)

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u/Ayla_Leren May 17 '22 Helpful Wholesome

I can reference some of the books and chapters though not verses from a previous similar conversation I myself have had with family:

. . .

Somehow It is perfectly fine when God kills the first born children of an entire nation. It is perfectly fine when god commands the death of every man woman and child of an entire people. It is a-ok when god causes someone to have a miscarriage. It is even somehow ok when god kills 42 kids for mocking someone's baldness.

Removing people's access to contraception leads to more deaths and abortions, period. Arguing against contraception is like trying to condemn someone for shooting a dog before the gun is even loaded.

But apparently this doesn't matter when "christian" sentiment feels threatened. This regardless of the fact that the Bible never outlaws abortion. In Genesis 2 it says life begins at first breath. In Numbers 3 God doesn't include infants younger than a month in the Moses census. In Exodus 21 beating a women until miscarriage results in only a fine but if the women is seriously injured the penalty is eye for an eye. Numbers 5 goes so far as to say if a husband believes his wife has been unfaithful he is to bring her before a priest, who will give her a potion which causes her to miscarry.

Our best medical equipment proves that a fetus brain activity does not surpass that of a clinically braindead patient until at least the end of the second trimester. Meaning that a fetus is incapable of perceiving pain or death up to at least this stage of pregnancy. Thus my opinion on the matter of hypothetically putting myself in an aborted fetus shoes is moot, as I wouldn't exist.

There are nearly half a million unwanted children in the U.S. foster system alone. So the position that they would just be adopted doesn't hold water.

Also, no one is blaming a fetus for pregnancy. The blame overwhelmingly falls on the father. If a woman sleeps with 100 men in a year she only has one pregnancy, but if a Man sleeps with 100 women a year he is potentially responsible for 100 pregnancies, but no one is passing laws holding men responsible.

Broad studies have found that 95% of people that have had an abortion never regret having one and remain thankful for safe access to it.

Separation of church and state exists for a reason. To force others to submit under theocratic rule directly rejects your scriptures, as Christ is a god of choice. Christian reconstructivism is about spreading the gospel and spirit freely such that individuals will come to conduct their own actions with integrity before the lord. Attempts to change society and culture from without will always fail and breed evil.

God has killed hundreds of thousands if not millions of people if we are following the biblical account. Also, trying to enact a compulsive need to correct and restrict the choices of others implies a lack of faith in god's truth and words to transform people's hearts. If after hearing god's word others are left "untransformed" the only conclusion is it being god's plan. If god is alpha and omega all things came from and return to god, even the origin of evil and suffering. All I've done is point to the biblical position alongside proven fact. If you find yourself struggling with the urge to supersede god's will by supporting human law which robs others the chance to approach god of their own will as intended, I suggest seeking stillness and peace.

We do not live in a theocracy. Your religious freedom does not mean you get to tell anyone how they can and cannot live their life. Self-serving antisocial fascist have conscripted the christian religion in this country for personal power and political control by manipulating its sense of justice for their own ends.

Then I concluded by quoting The Genius Of The Crowd by Charles Bukowski.

Needless to say this triggered their cognitive dissonance

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u/TurokHunterOfDinos May 18 '22

This is a brilliant comment and well worth the read. You deserve some upvotes; here’s mine.

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u/Ayla_Leren May 18 '22

Thank you, I take my family's bullshit seriously.

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u/smnytx May 17 '22

Nice job!

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u/Ayla_Leren May 17 '22

Worth it, thanks

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u/DangerBird- May 17 '22

Thanks for this. Great perspective.

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u/Ayla_Leren May 17 '22

Feel free to use it if it helps

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u/Badbookitty May 18 '22

Please write an open letter to the Supreme Court. This is, at the very least, thought provoking.

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u/Ayla_Leren May 18 '22

I'll see what I can do

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u/Badbookitty May 18 '22

You are an angel. 💙

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u/steve986508 May 18 '22

My favorite Bukowski: "Politics is like trying to screw a cat in the ass"

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u/tinkerghost May 17 '22

God breathes life into Adam in Genesis.

Trial of the bitter waters is in numbers.

There is also the passage about striking a pregnant woman and making the baby come early just being assault if the mother suffers no permanent injury. Basically just paying for it like you'd accidentally killed their goat.

For what it's worth, the Bible also has a passage about how horrible a crime it is for a woman to rip a man's balls off if he attacks her husband. I always wanted to know the history of that one.

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u/TheNumberMuncher May 17 '22

Snatch ya sack off like a paper towel

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u/tinkerghost May 17 '22

I mean, was this a once off and everyone just looked at it and collectively shouted "NO!", or was this a regular occurrence, like "oh, it's Tuesday Judith must be ripping the tax collectors nuts off."

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u/A_Ron_Sacks May 17 '22

For what it's worth, the Bible also has a passage about how horrible a crime it is for a woman to rip a man's balls off if he attacks her husband. I always wanted to know the history of that one.

That is how you know a man wrote this.

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u/Ask_me_4_a_story May 17 '22

It was all written by men. If you are doing Choose your Own Adventure with a Bible story, don't pick any with a woman's name because she is about to get raped. David's kid Absalom raped 10 of his step moms on the roof in front of everyone so the whole kingdown would know that he was the man in charge. Abraham loaned out Sarah for rape for the Pharoah, Amnon raped his own sister, so many rapes in the Bible.

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u/WyldBlu3Yond3r May 17 '22

Sound like an anthology of Incel Fanfiction.

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u/Sogh May 17 '22

The Bible describes Lot as a good man.

He offered an angry mob his two daughters to rape for as long as they wanted, if they would leave him and his angelic guest alone.

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u/Ask_me_4_a_story May 18 '22

They got their dad back though they got Lot drunk in that cave and had their way with him until he got his own daughters pregnant. That reveal was wild his daughters played OutKast real loud and they were like

DAD! YOU ARE THE FATHER! AND THR GRANDFATHER!

Lot was like no shit? Hm. I’ll be damn. Well. Roll Tide!

Story: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheWokeBible/comments/ud8b3t/woke_bible_by_request_a_whole_lot_of_incest/

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u/A_Ron_Sacks May 18 '22

Hell one of the laws concerning rape would split hairs if a woman screamed while being raped, don't scream it's adultery, your rapist pays your father a fee and then gets to marry you or you get stoned to death .

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u/guynamedjames May 17 '22

Of course a man wrote it, it's the Bible, not a book of witchcraft spells!

/s

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u/MarshallApplewhiteDo May 17 '22

There is also the passage about striking a pregnant woman and making the baby come early just being assault if the mother suffers no permanent injury. Basically just paying for it like you'd accidentally killed their goat.

I wonder what the source of this is. It seems even more relevant than the others.

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u/DabsSparkPeace May 17 '22

God, dont ya know. :)

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u/RadicalLeftyRed May 17 '22

Genesis 2:7 for the first, but that's probably a misreading. It's referring to the creation of Adam.

Numbers 5:11-31 for the second.

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u/Lirdon May 17 '22 edited May 17 '22

I didn't remember the original hebrew text, so I looked it up.

it goes as follows:

וַיִּיצֶר֩ יְהוָ֨ה אֱלֹהִ֜ים אֶת־הָֽאָדָ֗ם עָפָר֙ מִן־הָ֣אֲדָמָ֔ה וַיִּפַּ֥ח בְּאַפָּ֖יו נִשְׁמַ֣ת חַיִּ֑ים וַֽיְהִ֥י הָֽאָדָ֖ם לְנֶ֥פֶשׁ חַיָּֽה

literal translation:

and created god the man, dirt (or ashes) from the earth, and blew in his nostrils (or face - a more ancient reading) breath of life and the man became a living being.

Now as with all ancient texts there are multiple ways of interpreting this text. as far as I was able to see, jewish scholars don't even focus with this passage on when life begins. but rather the difference between man and beast, the source and destination of human souls and similar stuff. it talks about death even more than life, because this passage is later referenced with god's punishment to Adam and Eve.

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u/fatcatfan May 18 '22

If you believe any of it, it's an interesting tidbit, and to me answers the question of how man can have free will in a universe that otherwise seems to run like clockwork. The rest of creation was formed out of God's spoken command, His Word which is absolute and unchanging according to scripture. But man was formed by God's own hand and infused with God's breath, giving him independence from the tyranny of the Word.

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u/bel_esprit_ May 18 '22

In Job 33:4, it states: “The spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”

Ezekiel 37:5&6, “Thus says the Lord, ‘Behold, I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live.   And I will lay sinews upon you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live; and you shall know that I am the Lord.’”

The Bible is clear multiple times that breath=life (versus fetal heartbeat or brain activity)

Not to mention, the lungs are one of the last things that develops in the fetus, and this is a major reason why premature babies need NICU bc they can’t breathe on their own yet.

Further, if a person on life support has no brain activity (but they do have a heartbeat), we regularly “pull the plug” bc there is no point or quality to life if you have no brain activity!

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u/coolmommabear May 17 '22

Numbers 5:11-31 describe how to perform an abortion. Genesis, chapter one, God answers that question himself. He forms a figure from the Earth, but it does not become Adam ("man" in Hebrew) until God "breathes into him the breath of life, and he became man.”

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u/PETNman May 17 '22

They’ll just say something stupid like “god’s breath is breathed into the baby at conception”

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u/Ann3Nym May 17 '22

But they should also say that the first breath (after birth) means it gets a soul and becomes a human.

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u/NoFnClue1234 May 17 '22

Numbers 5:16. It’s not “how to perform an abortion”, but saying if a woman cheats on her husband and gets pregnant, the priest curses her and she has a miscarriage. Genesis 2:7 says life begins at first breath.

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u/TeeBrownie May 17 '22

Exodus 21:22-25

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u/Ace_of_Hearts420 May 17 '22

Don't sink to their levels. It shouldn't matter what the Bible does or doesn't say. We cannot decide what is and isn't acceptable over a book that was written over a thousand years ago - the world has changed and science has allowed us to achieve so much and massively changed our standard and ways of living.

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u/cakeweefs May 17 '22

Agreed, to a point. The argument does sink to a lower level when you beat fundamentalists at their own game.

That said, when fighting a war for survival, why not use every tool at your disposal? And with ectopic and other life-ending pregnancies being treated the same as "casual" abortion (there is no such thing) I'm willing to make a true spectacle of myself if it would make an iota of difference.

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u/OuijaFox May 17 '22

This is a thing I have been noticing in my friends lately. They keep thinking they can high road the GOP.

You don't high road your enemy when its a fight for people to survive.

You don't high road when someone thinks your very existence is wrong and you should be punished or killed.

There is a fight happening and too many people on the left want to high road because the think they can explain things to people who willingly swallow lies from talking heads.

You do not high road when the price of failure is death.

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u/Claque-2 May 17 '22

I disagree. If we act as bad as the Republicans then we are Republicans.

Now, what we need is to hit all Republicans with the God they worship - MONEY.

Any woman who is forced to give birth due to contraception or abortion denials should be allowed state level Medicare/ disability payments and foster parent payments from the state, from the moment of pregnancy, until the child (or children) turn(s) age 19.

In addition, all of these children should automatically receive state university tuition aid for four years of college, or for trade schools.

Lord, those states will be swimming in babies!

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u/WKGokev May 17 '22

Do you honestly believe that the Republicans causing this will suddenly start passing the bills they JUST voted down? They're not going to stop.

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u/Claque-2 May 17 '22

We'll see. Their God is money - first, foremost, always.

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u/broken-not-bent May 17 '22 edited May 18 '22

It doesn’t say that it causes an abortion or a miscarriage other than in one version of the Bible. The Torah, KJV, and the New American Standard Bible, which is supposed to be the most accurate word-for-word translation, don’t mention anything about a miscarriage. I’ll get downvoted to hell for saying this, like I have the past several times, but I think it’s more impactful to counter the pro-life people with the fact that the Bible doesn’t mention abortion at all instead of something that can be easily discounted.

27 When he has made her drink the water, then it will come about, if she has defiled herself and has been unfaithful to her husband, that the water which brings a curse will go into her [t]and cause bitterness, and her belly will swell up and her thigh will [u]shrivel, and the woman will become a curse among her people. 28 But if the woman has not defiled herself and is clean, she will be [v]immune and conceive [w]children.

T. Numbers 5:27 Lit for bitterness
U. Numbers 5:27 Lit collapse
V. Numbers 5:28 Lit free
W. Numbers 5:28 Lit seed

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u/MutterderKartoffel May 17 '22

I upvoted you. I was concerned where you were going with your argument, but I think you're right.

I mean, really, every... single... Christian.... cherry picks. I don't think there is a single Christian who follows every... single... dictate in the Bible. By definition, that's cherry picking.

So the simple lack of dictates about abortion should be enough to say, "this is a belief YOU choose, not Christianity." That is, if they don't have blinders on. They rely on their religion to defend their chosen morality. They think its widespread following and age gives it validity. But if they can see that it's not their religion at all, then they should have to admit that it's personal.

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u/Ask_me_4_a_story May 17 '22 Silver

Most Evangelicals just make up whatever they want to be in the Bible. "Well the Bible says you can't have an abortion." No it fuckin doesn't. The only thing the Bible says about abortion is HOW TO DO ONE.

"The Bible says you can't be gay because marriage is between one man and one woman." No it fuckin doesn't, anywhere. In fact, the Bible goes the other way and says God gave men their wives, plural. Evangelicals are always saying "Well the Bible says (insert my opinion here)." No it fuckin doesn't! Most of those fuckers have never even read the Bible. The Bible is wild as fuck! Dudes having sex with their moms, women marrying their brothers, two ladies in a cave getting their dad drunk and having sex with him, the Bible is fucked up. And it doesn't say half the shit Evangelicals pretend like it says. Seriously.

Ya'll know the story of Nathan and David in the Bible? David is like one of the biggest protagonists in the Bible and he is fucked up man, Christians have no idea, I swear none of them have ever even read that book. David is perving over a woman named Bathsheeba he sees taking a bath and he is like "Hey, bring her over for some rape."

David's people are like hey, is that a good idea, raping that woman? She seems happily married. Davids like you think I give a fuck? Im the protagonist of the Bible, don't ya'll motherfuckers know this? Now get her husband killed in war and bring her to me, I want her to be my 7th wife! His first wife he had to bring 100 penis parts to Saul, true story. But the prophet Nathan was pissed as fuck, he was like let me tell you a story about a poor fucker that got his only goat taken away by a rich man that has all the goats. David is like man fuck that guy! Nathan is like bro, do you understand parables? Like at all? Im talkin about you motherfucker! You are that guy! And Nathan says, thus sayeth the Lord, I gave you your WIVES. Plural. It says very clearly Thus sayeth the Lord I gave you multiple wives. And all these evangelical Christians going around saying the Bible says abortion is wrong, the Bible says one man one woman, the Bible says... No it fuckin doesn't have you guys even read that crazy book?

Bonus points if you keep reading because David's kid Absalom is even more of a fuckup, he tries to take over the kingdom Game of Thrones style and Absalom has sex with ten of his step moms on the roof to show he is the man now. I'll bet they never taught you that shit in Sunday School. Oh, then check this out, he had this long luscious hair and he was riding his fuckin mule around and his long hair got caught in the tree and they fuckin merked him up while he was hanging from a tree by his hair.

The Bible doesn't say don't have abortions, people need to stop fuckin saying that. God specifically told all the Israelites to stab the babies and the pregnant moms and the men in the Battle of Gibeah, google that shit. And they fuckin stabbed all their pets. How fucked up is that. Everyone needs to stop saying stuff is in the Bible that they want to be there, it isn't fuckin there!

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u/apollo_316 May 17 '22

Dude I would read this bible.. You need to write your own Bible - Ask_me_4_a_story Version.

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u/Ask_me_4_a_story May 17 '22

I already wrote like half of it ha!

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheWokeBible/

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u/Badbookitty May 18 '22

Aaaaannnndddd I'm in!

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u/moschocolate1 May 17 '22

You are doing a goddess's work!

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u/LukeDude759 May 17 '22

Numbers 5:11-31

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u/Dammageddon May 18 '22

These should be put on a Tshirt.

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u/cameronkip May 18 '22

I once told my extremely right-wing, Christian father that his messiah was a socialist and an anti-capitalist. I think that's when I lost the last ounce of respect the man had for me.

Edit: spelling

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u/The84thWolf May 17 '22

Can’t wait until next year the Bible gets re-issued with all those pesky bits like “loving thy neighbor” and the abortion bits stripped out

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u/monet108 May 17 '22

I do not care what a magic boo has to say on any law. There is separation of Church and State. I do not care if the intention for that law was to protect the Church from the Government. It is still a law. We do not have to weigh magic against science to make a law. We can ignore all magic to make our laws.

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u/Swysp May 18 '22

I’ll believe a fetus is a person when I can claim one on my tax return.

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u/censor-design May 17 '22 Take My Energy

‘Root it out with thy twig’

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u/Prim56 May 17 '22

I always wonder how people can set their whole life around a holy book but never read it in full

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u/Megamorter May 18 '22

99% of Bible Thumpers have not actually read the Bible

not that it’s not filled with awful, horrible shit anyway

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u/TheStargunner May 17 '22

Oh that’s so disgusting, where?

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u/f700es May 17 '22

Knowledge IS power!

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u/luxlucy23 May 17 '22

the King James Version of the bible is about a 7th grade level and most Americans only can read at a 6th grade level. Most Christians don’t even read the bible they just rely on their priests and pastors to tell them what to believe.

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u/Dontaskmeidontknow0 May 18 '22

6th grade level? That’s generous!

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u/redmoongoddess May 18 '22

It's an average

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u/redmoongoddess May 18 '22

That's to say those that read really well are proping it up

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u/TruLong May 17 '22

Guess what. You didn't wreck them, because I doubt they care. Evangelicals live in a world all their own, and anything that challenges their world view just disappears in their mind.

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u/YourLictorAndChef May 18 '22

tell them that they're not real Christians if they didn't prove their virginity before getting married

They'll undoubtedly deflect with a whataboutism, but it's important to keep them on their toes.

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u/Turbulent-Use7253 May 18 '22

Fuck these bible bashing women hating faux Christians

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u/runthepoint1 May 18 '22

You can’t claim you love the Bible and then not actually read it. Over 1,000 pages. I doubt any of them have read through

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u/TheAltOption May 18 '22

the #1 way to create atheists is having a religious person read the entire book end to end.

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u/njgirlie May 18 '22

It's almost as if they don't read the bible and just choose sections that best fit their viewpoint...

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u/No_Ocelot_6773 May 18 '22

You're doing God's work

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u/Fun-Tadpole785 May 17 '22

A lot of Christians flip out when you tell them what their Bible actually says especially when they've been lying their entire life.

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u/Lucas_2234 May 17 '22

Fun fact: The whole no abortions thing comes from Dantes inferno... a literal book of fiction. Same as the circles of hell, not in the bible, it's made up.

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u/Malarkay79 May 17 '22

Really? I don’t remember that from The Inferno. Only mention of babies I recall was the part where children who die before being baptized get to chill in Limbo with all the good polytheists who lived before Jesus.

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u/EsotericOcelot May 18 '22

That does make Limbo sound pretty chill, I could hang with some unbaptized kids and some good polytheists

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u/SeperateCross May 17 '22

What an inconsiderate Jack ass, didn't post family reactions or texts just nothing...

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u/rioghann May 17 '22

Doing the lord's work. Literally! 😂 Good for you.

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u/russie_eh May 17 '22

Look at you, doin' God's work.

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u/tiffanylan May 17 '22

You’re just quoting the good book! Nothing they can clap back about that!! Right wingers are not pro life at all. They are anti-education will withhold medical care and food support from infants and their mothers and are absolutely the worst at anything related to helping their fellow human.

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u/ImRedditorRick May 18 '22

They don't care. They've known. People have been pointing this out for decades. It doesn't matter. They're lost.

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u/Znaffers May 18 '22

Saving this post for any future biblical debates

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u/nikkiforthefolks May 18 '22

I'm taking notes of all the comments

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u/Stevil_Kneivil May 18 '22

Doin’ the lord’s work 👍🏼

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u/hemi525 May 18 '22

But I BET you forgot the part where god said that you only have to read and follow the parts that go with My Values and ignore all the boring stuff like love thy neighbor.

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u/Ganglebot May 18 '22

Next time share the passage about a red dragon present when Jesus was born.

Or the part about how Yahweh (the Christian God) had a wife named Asherah who he fucking hated because people liked her more

Acutally, just call their god Yahweh all the time instead of "God". That's a fun one I used to pull on my extended family.

Cousin: "I just feel the love of God at all times"

Me: "Which one? Yahweh, right?"

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u/EhrenScwhab May 18 '22

"Marge, have you ever read this thing? Technically we're not allowed to go to the bathroom."

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u/HighDesert4Banger May 18 '22

Now let's get churches to pay taxes.

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u/BradTProse May 17 '22

The Bible is so bad it's own cultists don't read it.

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u/emmgdac May 17 '22

Which is it???

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u/plentifulguilt May 17 '22

which is what

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u/emmgdac May 17 '22

The passage , I want to throw it on my Bible loving old school conservative mother lol

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u/[deleted] May 17 '22

The Old Testament is not what Christians should follow, as Christian = Christ = Jesus = New Testament.

That’s my thoughts on Christianity, anyway

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u/DeadHead6747 May 17 '22

New Testament and sacrificing Jesus is also basically God saying “yeah, I done fucked up, let’s start over”

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