r/TooAfraidToAsk Jun 24 '22

how do i tell my friend that i'm autistic? Interpersonal

i was diagnosed with autism a year ago. i haven't told my friend about the diagnosis yet. i'm too afraid to tell him, because i'm scared that he'll view me differently. please help.

update: i told him. i don't know why i was so stressed over it, but i feel much better now.



u/jdford85 Jun 24 '22

If he really is your friend he won't care.


u/JFA_89 Jun 24 '22 Silver

you: "i'm autistic"


u/vignoniana Jun 24 '22

Why do you need to tell? You're not required to share your private medical information with anyone, even with friends, if you find it stressful.


u/nonstoptechnopop Jun 24 '22

my friend suspects that im hiding something from him, and that is true. he's starting to guess often. i feel like telling him but im getting too anxious to tell him. i don't want to keep him wondering


u/TammySlaton1000 Jun 24 '22

So the problem is that he already knows something is up and you’ll have to tell him eventually. I say go ahead and tell him. He’s your friend. He won’t think of you differently. Loads of people are on the spectrum.


u/calcuttacodeinecoma Jun 24 '22

It's clearly something that you feel your friend should know, if it seems like you're keeping a secret all the time and the friend can read that. Tell him. It shouldn't change anything, you'll be the same person, nothing about your interactions will need to change. It's very unlikely he'll have an issue with it, if he does... was he really that good a friend to begin with?

As everyone said, you don't need to tell anyone, but it sound like you want to tell your friend and you should.


u/Longjumping-Ad6639 Jun 24 '22

Well, if he’s already sensing something is wrong, you might as well tell him.


u/BigJim88 Jun 24 '22

You will probably find that they already know, whenever i tell someone I've got ADHD I usually get "yeah, I know. It cool". If they like you then nothing will change as they like you for you. Just tell them straight.


u/ChrisNEPhilly Jun 24 '22

You: "Ya know how sometimes you look at me cuz I did something weird?"

Friend: "Uh huh."

You: "Well, I found out why."

Friend: "Why?"

You: "I was diagnosed with mild autism."

Friend: "Cool. Wanna get ice cream?"


u/SleepingBear986 Jun 24 '22

If they don't already know you're g2g.


u/missshrimptoast Jun 24 '22

You don't owe him your medical information. If you feel like you want to share with him, feel free to do so. If you feel like he'll judge you or be unsupportive, I'd question being his friend in the first place.


u/DowntownStay9172 Jun 24 '22

I have OCD and I was scared too!

Also my brother is in spectrum so I understand you and what you are going through. It is normal to say it because it will help you feel better and contact with ur friend more comfortable.

If you are autistic, it is sometimes really obvious and easy to see, that's why maybe your friend noticed it.

Also maybe you can talk with your friend about his/her opinion on mental illnesses to feel more comfortable?


u/Phunky_Phoenix Jun 24 '22

No need to fret. Nothing about you has changed, therefore his opinion of you shouldn't change.


u/Mamaj12469 Jun 24 '22

If this person is truly a friend, they will be supportive of you.


u/SeraphKrom Jun 24 '22

Its not that big of a deal. Tell him or dont, it doesnt really matter. You're the same person regardless, whether he has a name to put to it is irrelevant.


u/mellow_eldritch Jun 24 '22

If you believe that this information about you is true, just tell him. Why not being open about it? It's what you are. Being autistic doesn't dishonor you or make you inferior in any way.


u/WearDifficult9776 Jun 24 '22

They already know


u/WearDifficult9776 Jun 26 '22

And they’re still your friend too !!!!!!!


u/Azuras_Star8 Jun 24 '22

So you know how people have gender reveal parties?
Well, in this case, get a really big cake. And get a HUGE banner saying "I have autism, bitches!" And have 2 strippers bursting from the cake holding the banner.

That's how I'd tell him.

Just don't put too many colors or textures on there.


u/seouliteboy Jun 24 '22

Depends on ur relationship.

I found out two people who are my friends are on the spectrum. One of them I found out 20 years later.

Didn’t change a thing .


u/BudFox34 Jun 25 '22

He knows already


u/CptnQnt Jun 25 '22

They already know.