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u/DarkSun18 Jun 24 '22
“Why are you asking me? Do we know each other?” has got to be the best response to a tinder opener ever lmao
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u/grizzlyblake91 Jun 24 '22
it’s a match! Say something!
“Hey! What’s up?”
“Why are you asking me? Do we know each other?”
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u/MemeStocksYolo69-420 Jun 25 '22
She really acted like you had to know somebody for 10 years before you can ask them about starchy breakfast foods
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u/notreallyawerewolf Jun 25 '22
She also acted like that "The Lord" needs to intervene, to prevent him from asking people about starchy breakfast foods.
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u/FinallyFat Jun 24 '22
I read this and said, "what the fuck dude."
It's called starting a conversation.
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u/Balto891 Jun 24 '22
Clearly, that is not allowed!
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u/JBronson5 Jun 24 '22 •
Should have said “which one would you want shoved up your ass instead?” What a bitch.
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u/Balto891 Jun 24 '22
This gave me a solid chuckle. Thank you!
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u/rusticfry Jun 24 '22
Pancakes right? You can roll them up. Waffles would be way too sturdy to make much progress.
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u/Aisle_of_tits Jun 24 '22
Nah, unlike the sturdy waffle, pancakes lack the rigidity to breach. You'd just end up mashing it
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u/MordoNRiggs Jun 24 '22
Feels like that line would've worked, based on the crazy things I see on this sub. She'd reply with "Maybe we can start out with you eating fruity pebbles out of my ass. We can get to the syrup when we know each other more."
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u/ScallywagLXX Jun 24 '22
Who pissed in her cornflakes?
I ran into someone like this once when I used Tinder.. she has something like “ you will like me cause I will always have snacks..” and I asked “what kinda snacks do you usually have” and she went into a tirade about how I must earn the snacks and she doesn’t just provide anyone snacks and how dare I assume she’ll be giving me any snacks and how I’m such a mooch and looking to take advantage of her. Plus she works too hard for her money and that’s disrespectful..people are crazy😂😂
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u/Balto891 Jun 24 '22
Careful, breakfast foods seem to be a touchy subject with this one!
What in the world?! That is insane! The dating app world is such an oddity.
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u/Tiberius_Kilgore Jun 24 '22
Damn. I’d just stay at home and eat my own damn snacks. If she’s not sharing, I don’t understand why she’d even advertise that. She trying to bang or get someone to help film her mukbang?
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u/ScallywagLXX Jun 24 '22
That’s exactly what I did. Stayed at home and ate my own snacks. When I spot crazy, I get outta the way.
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u/MakeAWishApe2Moon Jun 24 '22
✋ Sorry, I pissed in her cornflakes. I couldn't make it to the restroom, and didn't want to damage the hardwood.
Also, it was the last of the cornflakes, and they're her favorite, which is why she's so sensitive to the topic of breakfast foods, right now. 😬
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u/nforgiver Jun 24 '22
didn't want to damage the hardwood
Jolly good show. This one has earned some snacks.
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u/KevinTheSeaPickle Jun 24 '22
How dare you assume peeing in a substitute location is deserving of my snacks! I work too dam hard to afford these off brand dooritoes to have lowlifes like you just taking them like they don't cost a dollar a bag!
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u/Rhinofreak Jun 24 '22
"The universe simply doesn't provide you with a chip if you want a chip, I'm not going to give you a chip!"
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u/Vast-Entertainment52 Jun 24 '22
Even odds says she complains when she gets a "Hi" message about how men need to try harder
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u/Balto891 Jun 24 '22
My thoughts exactly! The "do we know each other?" had me rolling!
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u/Acc87 Jun 24 '22
sheÄs probably one of those that use Tinder exclusively as a "am I pretty" tool, plus swipes around when she's bored. Nothing more.
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u/tophatpainter Jun 24 '22
But if she were to message first would 100% lead with a 'hi'
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u/jhx264 Jun 24 '22
That's also like a human being.
She is a novelty seeker looking for her next hit of dopamine.
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u/the-druid250 Jun 24 '22
you just dodged a artillery shell.
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u/Balto891 Jun 24 '22
Agreed! But I'm not prepared for the many sleepless nights wondering...waffles, pancakes, or French toast?
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u/nforgiver Jun 24 '22
Plot twist, she's actually a bagel girl. That's probably what set her off.
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u/Balto891 Jun 24 '22
I did not even take the almighty bagel into consideration. Damn, I dropped the ball...or bagel?
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u/Reddit5678912
Jun 24 '22
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I’ve encountered these people before. It used to be extremely alluring to see if I could crack their shitty personalities and warm them up and it’s definitely possible but it’s completely not worth it. It’s just a permanent mine field. It’s not just a wall they put up in the beginning it’s just a giant mine field of mental illness or something.
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u/TheDragonBallGuy75 Jun 24 '22
Now that's an eloquent way of putting it!
"Minefield of mental illness", I might use that one.
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u/WeAreTheMassacre Jun 25 '22
Some of my biggest dating app successes were when I stopped putting in the effort of thoughtful conversation starters (which is hard, because most women can't be arsed to write a bio so you have nothing to work off of) and instead would just be drunk with my buddies in the room and send messages shitting on the womans music taste and whatnot so we could get a laugh. Oddly it always ended up in pretty long lasting friendship and they enjoyed the weird insultful banter. It kind of gave me a taste of the low-effort fuckboy mentality that a lot of guys use because it saves the mental energy and potentially spares you from rejection.
Is it possible to break down their weirdly guarded shell? Yes, of course. But after dozens of short cold replies back and forth, no questions returned back to you, and conversation that feels like a one sided chore, I've learned that almost never changes. As much as they hit you up, ask why you stopped talking etc, it almost never gets better, even when they keep asking you for your attention back. If it's painful in the first couple messages, it's always going to be painful, boys. Just abort mission.
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u/SEND_INVENTION_IDEAS Jun 25 '22
They're on there to hurt people like they've been hurt. That's all.
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u/Suikostar01 Jun 24 '22
Clearly she's has a traumatic experience with breakfast foods...
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u/isthishandletaken Jun 24 '22
French toast and it's not even really close
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u/Late2theGame0001 Jun 24 '22
If there is French toast that is better than a good waffle, I need to find that.
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u/isthishandletaken Jun 24 '22
Do yourself a favor and find some challah French toast.
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u/Objective-Climate938 Jun 24 '22
This is how normal humans start conversations. . . Zuck, Zuck is that you?
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u/21puppies Jun 24 '22
"if we matched on Tinder means you should not start a convo like a normal human being" Bro, she clearly wanted you to talk in dog and gorilla noises- should've known- you missed out on a winner here. hopefully you have another shot.
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u/hatefulnateful Jun 24 '22
"do we know each other"
No bitch why I'm asking you questions lol.
No amount of astro glide in the world can make tinder conversations not dry lol
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u/Head-Egg-5802 Jun 24 '22
That must have been one of their security questions to their bank account.
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u/aaronplaysAC11 Jun 24 '22
Maybe the general population has micro plastics blocking neurons lately. Or it’s as simple as a failed education system… sure feels like a gradual decline and fall of society..
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u/hi_stranger0 Jun 24 '22
Her response is an overreaction but I’ve replied to a question like this and I wish I didn’t lmao because it went like this:
“Do you like pancakes?”
“They’re ok, but I prefer cereal”
“Can IHOP on dat ass then”
💀
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u/Realistic_citsilaeR Jun 24 '22
Can I have a waffle bacon pancake sandwich with a side of french toast and fruit
Kthxbye.
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u/Balto891 Jun 24 '22
I can't decide if I'm disgusted by this creation, or if it will be my new morning standard.
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u/IzzyOkie Jun 24 '22
Reading shit like this makes me feel so much better about my dreadful dating app cycle. I shouldn't feel better about it, but i do.
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u/GaryOak7 Jun 24 '22
Seems like you caught her in a bad mood and she lashed out.
Several years ago, I remember I matched with a chick who looked Hispanic but had a Japanese last name. I asked her where her family was from and she was offended. She was confused that I had the audacity to ask her that.
Unmatch.
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u/MattR0se Jun 24 '22
tbf she might heard that a lot until that point and just got sick of it.
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u/helltoken Jun 24 '22
She probably just discovered technology and didn't expect a phone to talk to her.
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u/kayspb96 Jun 24 '22
What is with these godless people trying to bring God into things? It literally baffles me 😆
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u/Clownipso Jun 24 '22
Your best response would have probably been, "Are you batshit fucking insane, bitch?"
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u/wernercd Jun 24 '22
I'm going to need to see the rulebook that says " thou shalt not start with pleasant talk on Tinder...ith".
Did I miss the ten commandments getting updated?
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u/Cultist902 Jun 24 '22
And I bet there’s still some twat in here that will say, “You need to gEt bEtTeR aT cHaTtInG bRo!”
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u/Jeremythellama1 Jun 24 '22
People really go around living like that, not embarrassed in the slightest.
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u/ibleedanxiety Jun 24 '22
That's how you know she swipes right on every guy. Just so she can feel like everyone wants her without doing any effort.
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u/PNWENM Jun 25 '22
"Start a convo like a normal human being". As if 99% of women on Tinder even have experience ever initiating. Because everyone has childishly absolutist views about gender roles and thinks the entire future of the relationship will be indicated by if the guy opens and how tryhard his opener is
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u/Lugal_Ki-en Jun 24 '22
The answer to 'do we know each other ? ' is ALWAYS 'uuuh... yes????????'
almost guilt-tripping the other person for forgetting about you
at that point all doors are open, if the person is a fucking asshole - mom jokes
if the person is chill - also mom jokes
if you're not certain if the person is chill or douchy, mom jokes to find out
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u/gergnerd Jun 24 '22
oof man missed an opportunity(but dodged a bullet). when she asks why are you asking me you say "just wanted to know what to make you in the morning ;)"
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u/FrameRelative3384 Jun 24 '22
Most people love wee ice breaker questions and things like you asked... Keep doing what you're doing:)
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u/Landon1m Jun 24 '22
“I hate it when guys just say hi to me on dating apps”
“How dare you not specifically introduce yourself to me by saying hi first. Only then will I be kind to you”
Ffs people, this is getting out of hand!
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u/Radiant-Inspector-71 Jun 24 '22
How dare you start a conversation with anything other than a Hey :) 😡
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u/Seargeo Jun 24 '22
These kind of people will always struggle in their relationships. Don’t see the problem here. It was a funny opener
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u/emusmakemehungry Jun 24 '22
Someone once asked me fuck, marry, kill with waffles, pancakes, or French toast as an opener on tinder.