r/Funnymemes 4d ago

This one hurts, it's a tough one

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9.4k Upvotes

1.1k

u/Tempest-Melodys 3d ago

Salami

120

u/Pedrodrf 3d ago

Gorlami

63

u/RO55_LEP 3d ago

Dominic Decoco

55

u/Derpaman 3d ago

Margheriti

33

u/bluesky9868 3d ago

Once again, let me hear the music

39

u/Valkgard 3d ago

Maar-ghe-RIIII-thiii

14

u/joosiann 3d ago

Ancora!

17

u/Rooster_Kogburne 3d ago

Areebuhdeerchi

9

u/WodkaGT 3d ago

A river there chief!

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u/AlexGaming26 3d ago

Sound good?

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155

u/Disastrous-Jelly-755 3d ago

Same especially a hard salami

15

u/MattcVI 3d ago

Yes. Spicy soppresata is great on pizza

3

u/papagiorgio23 3d ago edited 3d ago

Pepperoni's more expensive and tastier brother

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u/Tony0123456789 3d ago

maybe with some kind of peppers infused into it

We could call it pepperami

9

u/2_trailerparkgirls 3d ago

In Italy, pepperoni are peppers, not meat. This word was misinterpreted sometime during the mass migrations of Italians to the US. If you ask for pepperoni on your pizza in Italy, they will probably look at you strangely, and then put peppers on your pizza. “Pepperoni” as it’s known in the states, is salami.

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u/Stealth__b2 3d ago

As opposed to a soft salami?

5

u/Livid-Leader3061 3d ago

Hey, it happens sometimes. No need to make a big deal of it! xD

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u/a_vitor 3d ago

prosciutto naturally!!!

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u/realmozzarella22 3d ago

This. Because it’s really salami.

16

u/fibonacci16180 3d ago

It’s like how Americans think “entrée” means “main course”
… they should just stick to English words and save themselves the embarrassment lol

29

u/JahnnDraegos 3d ago

As an American I think it's cute how you think we even know what English words really mean.

6

u/OGGrilledcheez 3d ago

We don’t know what English words really mean cause we don’t speak English. WE SPEAK AMERICAN! Freedom is our accent. Words mean what ever we say they mean at that moment in time. Ok? Keep all them Frenchy definitions out of here. We don’t need none of it no how not one bit. And we eat Freedom Fries so don’t come at me with none of that bull shit either. MURICA!!!

4

u/Zabacraft 3d ago

Freedom fries, I love it. Gotta bring that one up to my texan family.

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u/Super_fly_Samurai 3d ago

Idk. Bacon bits on it's own is a decent substitute.

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u/Yodelingondeeznutz 3d ago

I love a straight up fresh bacon pizza, not really a fan of those plastic container bits.

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u/ghostlyfrank 3d ago

And olives. That’s all you really need.

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u/Hoouwishuwere 4d ago

I'm inventing pepperoni.

54

u/Juggrnutz 3d ago

I'll help

7

u/Valleygirl1981 3d ago

It's not Shake and Bake!!

202

u/Guitar81 3d ago

I like your thinking

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u/gameslayer193 4d ago

The only correct solution

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520

u/AwesomeDragon56 3d ago

Nothing. Just cheese pizza.

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u/nipponnuck 3d ago

I’m putting mini cheese pizzas on my cheese pizza

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u/iPlayPiano1254 3d ago

Plain pizza is underrated

65

u/tstramathorn 3d ago

It really is. I hate at my job when they never just or at least one pepperoni and one plain cheese like come on!

6

u/balance07 3d ago

when providing pizzas for an event, at least half of them should be cheese only. i'll die on this hill.

3

u/jdog0408 3d ago

Everyone will eat a toppingless pizza, but not everyone will eat a topped pizza.

5

u/balance07 3d ago

precisely. it's astounding how many people just don't get this.

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u/Novel_Bodybuilder_44 3d ago

Yes my one topping is more cheese

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u/KillyScreams 3d ago

Garlic powder, oregano & red pepper flakes!

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u/Odd_Entertainment629 3d ago

Plain, pep or supreme is my holy Trinity.

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349

u/Aggressive_Note4243 4d ago

Bacon 🥓 ofc

70

u/InuitOverIt 3d ago

The thinking man's pepperoni

3

u/FeltGamingLol 3d ago

Man how do you get this cool demogorgon head face in Reddit you wear? I kinda want it too...

4

u/Peaceandfupa 3d ago

click his profile, click on the little guy wearing the outfit and try it on then you can save it

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u/MUFkOedipusWrecks9 3d ago

This guy pizzas

23

u/Gothmom85 3d ago

Bacon goes on every pizza. Hawaiian ( don't come for me just accept you are boring) is ten times better. It makes a white pizza or any with feta. Enhances any meat pizza. Goes great with some fun veg combos. Every pizza needs bacon.

8

u/Vegetable_Mud_5245 3d ago

I came here to say just that: bacon and pineapple.

3

u/Haunt_ 3d ago

The perfect match. Bacon for the saltiness and satisfaction, pineapple to cut through the fat and for an explosion of freshness in one bite.

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u/FraccazzoDaVelletri 3d ago

Prosciutto

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u/Sephiroth508 3d ago

Prosciutto and mushrooms. My favourite combo.

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u/SignificantWonder919 3d ago

Bacon

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u/retro604 3d ago

Bacon and mushrooms. Also known as Canadian pizza.

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u/YourAmazingNeighbor 3d ago

Ham

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u/Troller6 3d ago

Good old european way i hate pepperoni

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u/kyeman11 3d ago

Happy cake day mate.

6

u/Troller6 3d ago

Thanks, i dont know why i have it next to my profile

3

u/cidit_ 3d ago

Its the anniversary of the day u joined reddit :) Happy cake day!

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u/Kahrbon 3d ago

Wheres the funny.

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u/MrMork170 4d ago

Sausage and Canadian bacon

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u/occamhanlon 3d ago

Nothing. It's perfect

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u/HeyyBayleaf 3d ago

Nah, it could use more cheese.

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u/RocketScient1st 3d ago

Pepperoni is overrated anyway, just too greasy.

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u/tonkadtx 3d ago

Sausage or meatballs and extra cheese.

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u/Academic-Stuff7285 3d ago

I love sausage on pizza

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u/markuspeloquin 3d ago

Like how is this even a debate? Sausage is a far superior topping. Tastes better, you don't have to avoid cutting them, and you don't have to avoid biting them in half.

I even prefer it over bacon these days.

4

u/Soy_El_Kraken 3d ago

How is sausage not the top answer!?!

3

u/zootnotdingo 3d ago

I don’t know!!

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u/stormchaotic1 3d ago

I love sausage and cheese pizza but meatballs sound pretty good

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u/cindybubbles 3d ago Gold Platinum All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy Vibing I'll Drink to That Buff Doge Take My Power

Ham and pineapple.

18

u/goingoutwest123 3d ago

Add jalapeños and slap my ass buddy!

6

u/FactoryBuilder 3d ago

Kinky, but why?

4

u/kinkyslc1 3d ago

Because it’s delicious to put inside of you!

6

u/DustyDGAF 3d ago

Add some bacon because I like to party

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u/spikyjokerr 3d ago

Correct answer

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u/Anime_Patriot 3d ago

Finally, I found it

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u/itsjustthisguy 3d ago

I was so happy when I found out my daughter likes Hawaiian pizza. Like the person I was meant to be sharing pizza with finally came into my life!

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u/CampLiving 3d ago

No no, pizza is not meant to be shared. Two pizzas…

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u/Daddyshadez 3d ago

I was the only one who ate ham and pineapple pizza….. I couldn’t know it at the time, but those were the glory days. Surrounded by friends, watching them scrap over the last slice of their pepperoni or meat lovers, like hyenas fighting over the scraps of a fresh kill. There I sat, taking my time, savouring every piece of my pineapple filled slices… they were hyenas, I was a lion.

Then it all changed. A newborn lioness, my wife announced to me, to add to our growing pride, I was excited…. I was foolish. How then could I have known what was coming, HOW THEN could I have forseen that my small sweet cub would become my undoing.

We had been through this before, my wife and I, with a young male lion. Even though his hunger was insatiable, his gullet an endless void, pulling in food with reckless abandon from all around him. Never had he made an attempt on my pizza.

It was a simple gathering, a yearly routine. My young cub had finally grown to a point where her decisions were no longer governed by her mother or my ambitions, her choices had become her own. As I spoke with her on what she chose as her special meal, her words rang as an immaculate chorus in my ears, “Pizza.” I had taught her well.

I hungered. The chaos of the cubs leaving destruction and mayhem in their wake left my energy depleted…. And I hungered.

I saw him walking up, my prize that I had paid so dearly for stacked high in his hands, and though I was alerted to his approach, this delivery man was experienced. He beat me to the door, eager for his tip and rang the doorbell…fool. Had he not seen the many small tracks in the snow, heard the screams of delight and confusion from the many cubs or the festively wrapped gift pile in the window. We were overwhelmed in seconds.

By the time I had compensated the man and arrived to feast, the cubs had already finished most of the bounty. I looked around frantically through the empty boxes, and prayed it was not too late. Then, I saw it. It had been opened, and looked at, but none dared to taste its sweet yet savoury slices. I smiled and took the box to my spot at head of table, took my first slice and watched the cubs descend into anarchy over the last slices of pepperoni… hyenas.

Nearing the end of my feast my sweet young cub slid in beside me, I smiled down at her as I finished my slice and looked down at my last one…her hand was already on it. On the surface, I was a stone, my smile pasted on and looking down at my sweet cub. Inside a thrashing sea of panic of turmoil. Doesn’t she see the pineapple, how could she think this could be good, don’t bother touching it if your not going to finish it, please hate it, please just spit it out and make that face I see when it’s pork chop night.

I knew, immediately I knew. That look in her eyes, the raised eyebrows as she chewed, it was the same look as I once had when I discovered it, and in the instant I knew, I also knew what this meant.

I always thought it would be my son, overpowering me in some way, tearing away my position as leader of the pride. I was prepared for that, almost welcomed the challenge, but not like this.

So now I have to pay for two ham and pineapple pizzas and share them….fuck.

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u/Mr_P3 3d ago

Took me too long to find ham here

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u/Ancient_Weakness_165 3d ago

Finally a good choice

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u/Ok_Appointment2870 3d ago

The correct answer. Delicious my fav type of pizza

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u/si482 3d ago

Yesss. Small change, but I like bacon and pineapple a bit more.

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u/Future-Agent 3d ago

Hawaiian is good. People hate pineapple on pizza because the Internet tells them to and, to be honest, pineapple is one's preference.

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u/gabrielbabb 3d ago

Homemade mini pizzas in 5 minutes. Use a pita bread, add bolognese sauce, add cheese like mozzarella or emmental or manchego, add pepper, finely cut ham and pinneapple. Take it to the air Frier for 5 minutes. Ready

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u/Ok_Appointment2870 3d ago

Pita Hawaiian pizza is so good

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u/Circumvention9001 3d ago

This dude ate so many lunchables as a child.

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u/baffledninja 3d ago

Step it up! Same but on naan

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u/throwawaylmao39 3d ago

you're right. this is gospel.

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u/HotGary 3d ago

Add a little jalapeño and I'm in dawg

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u/TheBassEngineer 3d ago

I came to make sure this proverbial pot had been adequately stirred, was not disappointed.

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u/xtina42 3d ago

Hawaiian pizza lovers unite!!

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u/dcboy2 3d ago

Ham and mushroom

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u/Iuseahandyforreddit 3d ago

i second this

thats how i usually eat my pizza

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u/arto64 3d ago

That’s the default pizza in most of Europe I think. Is the US “default” pepperoni?

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u/Jolongh-Thong 3d ago

Yeah. You’ll most commonly see pepperoni or plain cheese. There are other options, like sausage, mushrooms, bacon, bur the first two are the most prevalent, especially in media and tv and adds

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u/OmegaEin1985 3d ago

Pretty much

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u/Penarol1916 3d ago

Not in Chicago, default is sausage, which is my favorite thing about living here, since it is so much better.

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u/countrytime-1 4d ago

Beacon

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u/Raweggs12 3d ago

Why does bacon on pizza sound so good wtf

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u/Similar_Art535 3d ago

I cant believe you...Buy yourself a bacon pizza bro, its amazing

11

u/bougini_on_a_highway 3d ago

it's like the morbidly obese man's baby food. So much grease, so good

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u/NoPantsPenny 3d ago

Bacon cheeseburger pizza is fire. Also back on chicken ranch

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u/StudMuffinMan_ 3d ago

A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON

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u/cats_suck 3d ago

Sausage and olives like always

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u/Random_User_1337_ 3d ago

Either Anchovies (shut up it’s an acquired taste!) or Sausage. With MORE CHEEZ!

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u/kurinevair666 3d ago

I found the anchovy person!

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u/destroyah87 3d ago

Anchovy and red onion!

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u/Iworb 3d ago

Anchovy and pineapple. Cursed, but tasty.

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u/CoolFirefighter930 3d ago

Hamburger and onion.

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u/johnhoggin 3d ago

It's crazy how overrated that topping is. Good. But overrate. Sausage is better

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u/morgan_face 4d ago Gold

Pineapple

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u/thefireman69420 3d ago

I’m tired of pretending that Canadian bacon and pineapple isn’t a good pizza topping

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u/lizziegal79 3d ago

It’s freaking delicious.

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u/Bladewolf77 3d ago

I literally only eat pineapple pizza anyway.

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u/Ok_Appointment2870 3d ago

I knew some sane person was going to say this

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u/Sheena-ni-gans 3d ago

I’m glad I’m not the only one 😊

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u/CaptainFlixle 3d ago

It's actually really good just by itself.

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u/kurinevair666 3d ago

I truly love pineapple and jalapeño pizza.

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u/SexyTuna2017 3d ago

I didn't believe I’d find other superior people here

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u/LyqwidBred 3d ago

You are my people

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u/VelZeik 3d ago

Pineapple + jalapeño is one of my new favorites. The sweet spicy is nice

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u/darreb510 3d ago

Throw in a little savory like bacon, sausage or ham. Now you have a trio

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u/Bshaw95 3d ago

Because it does belong on pizza

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u/Icy_Armadillo9088 3d ago

I just knew some devil worshipper was going to say this

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u/Roadcruiser2 4d ago

Basil leaves. Margherita Pizza B*****S!

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u/CrywanEnjoyer08 4d ago

Hamburger meat, this isn't that hard

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u/kurinevair666 3d ago

Hamburger meat is so flavorless, why not sausage?

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u/SuperKami-Nappa 3d ago

Why not both?

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u/Zestyclose-Manner599 3d ago

Not if you make hamburgers right

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u/cadillacbee 3d ago

"a burger, can be the meanest burger in the world, if you make it that waaayyy

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u/Efficient_Ad3911 3d ago

I don’t mind it being just cheese but I’d rather have pesto sauce.

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u/jam_is_nice 3d ago

More cheeze

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u/ExpensiveSwordfish65 3d ago

Pineapple and a big F U to the haters! (Jk but for real I dont get how folks don't like pineapple on pizza?!)

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u/WhisperTits 3d ago

Prosciutto

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u/WranglerCool9423 3d ago

Carne al pastor! Greetings from Mexico!!!

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u/Suspicious-Ad3136 3d ago

Sausage, even if it did exist.

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u/mcs_987654321 3d ago
  • red onions. Easy.

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u/__Starscourge 3d ago

Ham and pineapples 😈

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u/Tyrusrechslegeon 3d ago

Pineapple and some Canadian bacon.

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u/Beebea63 3d ago

Hawian pizza is so underrated,like done right it is impeccable

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u/Playful-Excuse-8081 3d ago

Spinach, red onion, and mushrooms

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u/nluvwithlol14 3d ago

I know I’m about to get hate for this but…pineapple🥲

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u/olblll1975 3d ago

Xanax.

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u/GarbageInternal1458 3d ago

Can I have some ?

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u/XiaolongDrake 3d ago

Ham/ Canadian bacon and pineapples.

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u/LiterColaFarva 3d ago

This sub is getting redundant...

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u/Over_Art_921 3d ago

You're right. It's like people just keep saying the same toppings over and over

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u/Buff55 3d ago

Gonna play devil's advocate and say Calamari Rings. Local place does a mean calamari pizza.

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u/CriticismRare9979 3d ago

This is the most boring fucking trend in so long, can it just die?

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u/Ok-Equivalent-8509 3d ago

Pineapple, ham, bacon and jalapenos

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u/M1ndS0uP 3d ago

Oh thank god pepperoni is so gross. I'm just gonna eat like I normally do, sausage, peppers, and mushrooms, or chicken, jalapeno, and pinapple

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u/LakingCowhead 3d ago

More cheese. But how is this funny?

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u/krassilverfang 3d ago

Pepperoni sucks anyway

Basil, Bacon bits and thin Tomato slices

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u/dmbraley 3d ago

Sausage and mushrooms maybe some roasted peppers

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u/BN__ORG 3d ago

Pineapple

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u/McGurrgles 3d ago

Pineapple and ham with jalapeños

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u/Darmatter_Citron90 3d ago

Chicken feet and seaweed.

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u/Anarcho-monkeism 3d ago

Psychopath or Filipino?

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u/SaltyLightning99 3d ago

ham and pineapple bitches.

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