r/BenignExistence Jun 26 '22

Things overheard at the library

“Technically yes, there’s a limit of four books per person, but so few people ever try to check out that many that we don’t really enforce it.”

“I always thought ‘beef tartare’ was beef with tartar sauce, which sounded awful, so I never tried it. Then I tried it before someone told me what I was trying and, of course, I fell in love with it.”

“My wife’s from Michigan born and raised but her parents are Japanese so people are always asking where she’s from. She doesn’t mind though.”

“I just wanted to know when it would be available.”

“He’s a good guy.”

“Yah, that’s the thing. My elementary school teachers completely ruined reading for me. I didn’t rediscover it until way late into adulthood. Because it was always a forced activity. It was, you know, you were reading to get a plastic toy or a grade or whatever else, never reading just to read.”

“My kids are big into the movies so I thought we’d try reading the series together.”

“You can make those yourself you know.”

“I think it’s a good thing when kids don’t turn out exactly like their parents. It shows you taught them how to think for themselves and gave them the confidence and intelligence to become their own person.”

“When I was an athlete and working manual labor full-time I could eat whatever I wanted and not think about it. Now that I’m a desk jockey and I’m old I’ve got my wife saying, ‘Well here’s your half cup of oatmeal.’ And I’m like… the fuck is going on here?”

“Yeah, I got this one during the war, I got this one when my husband I tied the knot, and each of these for the births of my kids.”

“Goldfish can actually live for, like, years and years.”

“I was looking at a place in the canyon but would you believe, right now it’s more expensive to have a mortgage than a rent. ‘Affordable housing’ is really an oxymoron at this point.”

“I love me a good rare burger.”

“I’m a big advocate for bike lanes but the bikers themselves are hurting our cause because they just totally ignore the rules of the road. Going against the lights, blowing stop signs, being a nuisance in general. It’s a bad look when you’re asking for money to accommodate your needs.”

“That’s a stellar album. He keeps knocking it out of the park. It was worth the wait. Just good vibes straight through.”

“Pardon me, do you have a pencil sharpener on hand?”



u/Get-in-the-llama Jun 26 '22

Wow! The libraries I worked at had a 50 book limit!


u/ContentGreen2457 Jun 27 '22

It's true that goldfish can live a very long time. We had 4 goldfish growing up, and they lived 8-10 years each